The Playa President

Mixed Bag of Goodies

2012-02-05T17:26:00.000-05:00

In the immortal words of Robert Plant, 'It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, uhhh-uh!'

So let's dump the foreplay this time and get right to the good stuff. There's all kinds of shit going on, so stay strapped in, and remove your valuables before boarding. I will not be held responsible for lost or stolen items. Or for how much money you piss away on that ridiculous Super Bowl XVLI prop bet.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BITCHES!

Okay, I'm a little late on this one. But whatever. Apparently, 2011 sucked for almost everyone I know. Is a better day on the horizon? We'll see.

I guess it all depends on job creation and the economy. And taxes. You know, the stuff that affects us everyday, trying-to-get by people.

I don't want to get too political here or anything - as an old friend once said to me, arguing religion or politics is like debating stuff on the Internet ... nobody really wins or loses, and in the end, everyone is still retarded. But I will say that I can't remember a time when I've been as fed up with the 'party system' as I am now. It's just a lot of division (and not the kind you learn about in grade school) and side-choosing, and less about working together to get shit done. Rich, poor, employed, jobless, whatever - we are all in this mess together. I don't give a damn about Democrat or Republican. I care about opportunities - and so should everyone else. The chance to get what you want through hard work. Wouldn't it be nice that it all should be that simple.

But as we know, not so.

However, if we should be lucky enough to see politicians stop tearing each other down and actually getting some good ideas pushed through the logjam, maybe we can at least enjoy some advantages of change that will bring about more lucrative financial times for everyone.

I will now step off this entirely too-high soapbox and stop wondering if I might see a one-legged flying unicorn anytime soon, because the odds of that are about the same as actually believing that any of the fantasy-land stuff I just typed above might happen.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

A couple months ago, I wrote about how I’m okay without a Division I college football playoff.

I don’t want to completely retract that statement, but the all-SEC party that shut the door on a more-than-deserving Oklahoma State team in the national championship game left a nasty taste on my buds. Is a plus-one a viable solution? In some years, that would do it. But not every year.

A playoff isn’t perfect either. Some of the regular-season matchups would become a bit watered-down, and there would still be teams crying foul about not getting in no matter how many you include (happens every year with the NCAA Basketball Tournament, and they let 65 teams in). The fact is, if you can’t totally appreciate the pure intensity of the regular-season games, you just don’t fully buy into what Division I-A college football is all about. And that’s okay – this isn’t meant as a criticism. It’s just unlike any other sport because of this. The uniqueness is part of what separates it so distinctly though.

The huge downside? Almost every year, we get an ‘Oklahoma State’ situation that makes us contemplate the fact that a team possibly strong enough to be a national champion is left on the other side of the partition. How do we reconcile this without a playoff? We don’t. The easy answer – and I know everyone hates it – is don’t lose in the regular season. And come from a major conference. And be a school of major consequence with a national fan base that’s always in the media spotlight.

I don’t love it any more than you do, but it’s part of the deal. Money talks, everything else takes a long-ass hike down the path of ‘who cares.’ It’s nobody’s fault that a championship game between TCU and Boise State just doesn’t generate as much buzz as a Michigan-Alabama title game would, but it’s the world we live in. For the on-the-fence guys that want to hang with the big dogs, do everything you can to get into a major conference and make people pay attention by beating said big dogs. It’s not necessarily easily accomplished, but that’s how to take down the 1 percent that is major college football institutions. Having said that, I would have rather seen Oklahoma State somehow get a chance without Alabama necessarily being shut out either. The current system doesn’t allow that though. Better luck next year for a more ideal outcome.

Another huge college football-related story has been the Jerry Sandusky child-abuse allegations story and the firing, and not long after, death of legendary Penn State head coach Joe Paterno.

I’ll try to be somewhat brief about this one, but we all have a natural tendency to glorify any well-known figure, be it celebrity, musician, athlete or otherwise, in the wake of their passing. I don’t completely love this, but I get why it happens.

Let’s just say, my main takeaway from the last months of Joe Paterno’s life and demise is simply that it’s the most powerful reminder imaginable that literally any person is capable of demonstrating contradictory sets of values.

It’s easy for us to think that almost anyone we meet or perceive in the public eye is either generally ‘good’ or generally ‘bad’ – when in reality, neither simple characterization is really even close to accurate (get to know Walter White from Breaking Bad and you’ll really understand this).

Paterno was a loyalist to the Penn State community who molded generations of college football players into fine young men, donated millions to the institution that employed him for decades, and was by all accounts a wonderful, salt-of-the-earth guy who lived in a modest home and didn’t hide from people by playing up his larger-than-life celebrity.

This is all true.

But it wouldn’t be right to ignore the fact that he was also a guy who took the minimum amount of action or responsibility for the investigation of some allegedly horrific actions that were being committed by another member of the Penn State community, and there are many who would suggest that he did this more out of concern for his own record-setting legacy and less because he was ‘confused’ or wasn’t sure ‘what to do.’ You don’t achieve the level of success that this man did without being savvy, and to not know that it would have been advantageous to report child abuse allegations to every local law enforcement agency, as well as to social services, instead of to just leave it in the hands of those who would be more likely to want to protect the name of the PSU Institution, is wholly unbelievable.

That’s like finding a piece of glass or plastic in your food in a restaurant and only telling the manager or owner of the place. He doesn’t want it to get out that his food isn’t completely safe or sanitary, right? What do you think he’s going to do? Schmooze you with a free meal or buy you a few drinks on the house, and hope you don’t tell anyone else. If you want something to get done about it, you go tell the Better Business Bureau of whatever local watchdog group is out there making sure that establishments serving food are up to snuff in the regulations department. You might prevent some other poor bastards from slicing up their gums while they’re just trying to enjoy a bowl of the French Onion soup.

Well for the purposes of this analogy, JoePa found a piece of glass in his food, told the manager and then left it alone. It just wasn’t worth the trouble to him. He had his eye on a bigger prize.

Does this outweigh all the good that he did? Of course not. But it will be difficult for me to think about his overall body of work and his life and career as a whole without recognizing that he was generally a good guy who was at one time guilty of making a few bad decisions that likely led to the continued pain and suffering of several others. By the way, he’s far from the only one who didn’t blow the whistle when it should have been, but he is the only one who’s the face of such a well-known institution. It comes with the territory, unfortunately.

THE SUPER BOWL

Nothing like putting in a prediction about an hour away from kickoff!

As an Eagles fan, I hate this matchup. The rich are getting richer no matter who wins. Both the New England Patriots and New York Giants are going for championship No. 4. Tom Brady and Eli Manning have both pretty much cemented their legend status (or in EM’s case, NEAR-legend status) for their respective organizations.

And this game is being played in the House that Peyton Built, which just creates for umpteen more storylines than we already have after the upset of all upsets that we saw in Super Bowl XLII four years ago, when the Giants’ ‘Helmet Catch’ ruined New England’s chance at a perfect season.

It seems like this was somewhat predetermined, right? Both conference championship games had one referee call that would have favored San Francisco and Baltimore in terms of a different outcome, but the calls went the way of New England and New York.

Lee Evans? That shit was a catch. The ball hit him in the numbers and it was well within his grasp. Whether that happens for two milliseconds or two full seconds, that’s a touchdown. But Sterling Moore reaches in there and knocks it out, and miraculously, the whistle hasn’t blown (where’s the goddamn whistle??) – and wow, look at that, it’s a strip. What??? In what universe is this acceptable? The Ravens just rolled over and took it up the poop chute on that one, too. Absolutely awful. But hey, Giants-Pats is much sexier than Giants-Ravens, or God forbid, 49ers-Ravens. I’m not saying the fix is in, but who didn’t want this rematch? You tell me.

In case you were wondering, the questionable call in the NFC Championship game was when Ahmad Bradshaw fumbled in the fourth quarter, but didn’t really fumble, because his forward progress was stopped so the play was whistled dead. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen that exact same play in a regular-season game and it’s ruled a fumble because the freaking player IS STILL UPRIGHT! The only time I see that b.s. ‘forward progress’ thing is when 6 guys are standing up a ball carrier and he’s clearly not getting out of the pile to break away for a huge gain. Not when a running back is trying to plow upfield, runs into a couple defenders and loses the ball and/or has the ball punched out. Unconscionably bad call.

We all wanted this matchup, I get it. No worries. But let’s not be afraid to call it like it is.

Now – as for SB XLVI? The Giants had a harder road here and have played better. They’re the favorite who’s not the favorite, because New England is a 3.5-point favorite as far as Vegas is concerned. But I can’t shake this feeling that the Pats are going to get their revenge, despite the fact that they are probably the inferior team. Who knows – they feel it’s their destiny, Belichick/Brady won’t be denied again, they’re doing this for the memory of Myra Kraft and there are more mysterious forces at work. The Giants’ blatant overconfidence can’t be good for the wheel of karma, either. Around these parts, people are talking like a Giants win has already happened.

But who knows. If N.Y.’s ferocious front four does its thing and Eli uncorks the passing game with Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks and Mario Manningham, anything can happen. I just don’t know if Tom Brady is going to be punked on a big stage like that again.

The only reason I’ll pull for the Giants is because of fullback Henry Hynoski, a fellow graduate of my alma mater, Southern Columbia Area High School in Catawissa, Pa. This kid was an undrafted free agent who has been a major part of the offense this year, and is playing in the Super Bowl as a ROOKIE.

He came from a high school that graduates no more than 200 kids each year and is literally surrounded by cornfields. Football means everything where I’m from, but we rarely see players that have what it takes to make it on an NFL roster.

So to watch the story of Henry Hynoski unfold and to believe that you can’t get where you want to be in life is just silly. But as anyone would tell you, it won’t happen without some good old-fashioned ass-busting hard work. Here’s hoping the Hynocerous gets to call himself a Super Bowl champion. Besides, seeing a dejected Brady and Belichick lose another Super Bowl would just be too much fun.

Ultimately, it may all hinge on Rob Gronkowski’s ankle. If the big dude can play through the pain and get shit done, the Pats are going to be much tougher to stop. I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those ‘whoever has the ball last has the best chance to win’ type of deals. I really can’t imagine a blowout. Going to be a great one.

The head says New England, but the heart says Giants (simply because of Hynoski fellow Eagles fans, take it down a notch!).

I’m getting into the NBA next time, kids. The Sixers are one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference. I’m not making it up! Look at the standings!

Who do YOU root for?

2011-12-15T13:14:00.001-05:00

I've never quite understood the sports fan who gets way too amped up about a professional or collegiate team - unless the fan is an alumni of said collegiate team.

Caring on a certain level is expected, but we all know those people that care just a little bit too much, right? The guy who's depressed and moping like his dog just died for about two weeks after whatever heart-wrenching playoff or Super Bowl loss just took place. It forces all of us to sit back and think 'A little perspective, please.' Doesn't it? At least for me it does.

I prefer to think of it this way: Professional and major college teams could give a rip whether you root for them or not. They exist primarily to make money. Oh, and win games. Which gets them more money. If you stop rooting today or tomorrow, plenty of others will continue to support your team or drop off the map, and nobody will really care. This isn't an argument that you should cease all rooting immediately for your teams, but simply to draw attention to the fact that it's primarily a one-sided relationship.

But when you can trace a rooting interest in something as far back as your earliest memories and your instrumental formative years, that's when emotional investment becomes so much more real and tangible.

To wit, my alma mater, Southern Columbia Area High School, residing on the outskirts of Catawissa, Pa., in east central Pennsylvania, will attempt to make history tomorrow at 1 p.m. at Hersheypark Stadium by becoming the first Pennsylvania scholastic football team to win a seventh state championship.

Now THIS is something to get behind in terms of a sports-related rooting interest, primarily for us proud alumni of what has transformed into one of the truly well-recognized statewide powers in Pennsylvania football. Especially for those of us who witnessed that transformation firsthand from a barely competitive program (1960s and 70s), to a district-wide competitive program (1980s and early 1990s) to the present standard by which all other Class A football teams in Pa. are held.

Even when the Tigers don't make the championship game - they have been to the big dance 13 times in the past 18 seasons - their presence looms large over the proceedings. It's usually worth noting whenever SCA isn't there simply because, they aren't there.

There are a myriad of components for why the program has become so successful, many of which are well known by several folks reading this piece. For some quick bullet-points, they include tons of hard work (in the offseason too), strength training, superb conditioning, high football IQ, talented players that learn the value of hard work from an early age onward, a dedicated coaching staff that molds young men into respectable people in addition to teaching the Xs and Os of the game, and probably a dozen other reasons.

But I like to think, more than anything else, it's about the stuff that transcends learning the proper gap protections or anticipating where the ball is headed. It goes beyond knowing the playbook.

It's about the blood, sweat and tears, baby. It's about having no doubt you can accomplish anything. It's also about trust, camaraderie among teammates, and doing anything in your power to not let people down.

This is all from the perspective of someone who didn't actually wear the uniform, but was as close to the program as one can be without doing so. Having that vantage point allows for the sort of observations that could seemingly never otherwise be gleaned.

Watching a year-by-year transformation of a district champion, to a state playoff qualifier, back to a district champion that could advance no further due to an outdated, wacky points system and then finally culminating in the school's first gold trophy (1994) was an indescribable experience I will always have with me.

No loss by a pro or college team could possibly match the disappointment I felt from the stands in 1995 and 1996 when SCA came up short against Farrell (6-0 and 14-12, respectively). I can't even imagine how the players felt. Another four gut-wrenching losses would have to be endured over the next 5 seasons before that glorious string of five consecutive championships took place from 2002-2006.

And as a lot of athletes will probably tell you, the toughest of losses stays with you longer than the most thrilling of triumphs. I used to think this was B.S. But now, I actually kind of understand it.

No matter what happens tomorrow in Hershey, head coach Jim Roth, his staff and his players will come out prepared and give everything they've got against unbeaten and two-time defending state champion Clairton. But anyone who knows anything knows better than to count the Tigers out.

Finally, the games play out year after year, and the graduates move on with their lives. But regardless of what the scoreboard said when it was over, what's most important is how inspiring the program is to current and former members. We see it in the results on the field, and the fact that for the first time ever this year, an SCA alumni is playing in the NFL (congrats, Henry Hynoski). Great things are only possible through hard work and determination.

At the time, it seems like you're only learning the game of football and pulling for victories on the field, above all else.

Then you learn more as you get older.

Why I'm Okay Without an FBS Playoff

2011-11-28T16:54:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that it's about 70 degrees outside in the New York metro area and it's only a couple days shy of December. Maybe it's the Bieber Fever. Perhaps it's the staggering amount of money that the latest installment in that dreadfully annoying Twilight movie series is pulling down. Or maybe even it's the fact that Tim Tebow is 5-1 as a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Or maybe I'm just getting old. Yeah. I think that's probably it.

Seemingly since the dawn of time, I - like most college football enthusiasts - have lobbied for an NCAA Division I/FBS playoff as the most appropriate method for determining the sport's champion at the conclusion of each season. At the very least, my fervor on this subject strengthened to a considerable degree upon formation of the Bowl Championship Series, the selection system utilized to rank the top two teams nationally after the conclusion of regular-season play.

Few entities in life have been more roundly, and probably rightfully, criticized than the BCS system, with the possible exception of Herman Cain, Crystal Pepsi, and the jury that acquitted Casey Anthony.

And I would be about as forthcoming as Jerry Sandusky during the Bob Costas interview if I tried to peddle to you the notion that I've not been one of the BCS' most vocal critics.

But recent reflection, primarily through the close observation of how the 2011 season has unfolded coupled with intelligent point-counterpoint discussions with a few of my well-informed fellow College Football junkies, has me thinking differently about this topic.

First off, let's not kid ourselves: A well-constructed and researched by-the-seeds bracket will always be the most traditional and bulletproof convention for narrowing down any competing group of teams/individual athletes as it applies to organized sport.

But as we all know, Division I-A college football - oh wait, I'm sorry, FBS football - has never subscribed to that 'bracket' construction in the first place. And I know this sounds as if it's headed for the same 'defenses' territory proposed by opposers of a playoff, but it also happens to be a true statement - this is what makes this particular sport so unique and enthralling for those who hang on the edge of their bleacher seats each weekend with an eye on the games that have the most across-the-board, high stakes implications.

What I've come to realize, more than anything, is that the best approach to take here is the idea that each weekend, what you have on tap is at least a couple, if not a handful, of games that are essentially 'mini-playoff' contests. I used to scoff at this notion, often propounded by defenders of the current FBS system, merely tossing it off as an over-reaching argument made to preserve the already-in-place platitudes of tradition and history within the sport. Simply a defense rooted in laziness and resistance to alter the status quo rather than a firmly-held belief that change would do more harm than good.

And I'm not sure exactly why I'm thinking about it differently suddenly now. Maybe it's because more hours on the couch this fall (even more so than usual for me, which is a lot) due to home and family time with my wife and bubbly infant son have provided me with the benefit of more rigid observation. But whatever it is, what I can say with much certainty is that I've enjoyed this season as much as, if not more so, than any other in recent memory. I cannot think of a Saturday (or in the case of Oklahoma State, a Friday) that hasn't involved a plethora of televised games that have held some sort of broad appeal in terms of the final outcome.

As much as it pains me to say it, and as much as it may annoy you to read it, an 8-team or 16-team bracket ultimately detracts from this drama. It just plain does, and you can't tell me otherwise.

Also, does anyone who lobbies for a playoff really believe that many of the same politics and major conference biases wouldn't also negatively influence the construction of these brackets each season? I could make a fairly strong case for why undefeated Houston or one-loss Boise State should be sitting at home while the big bangers from the six major conferences duke it out in an 8-team playoff (a simple 'strength of schedule' argument, for one), but that's a separate discussion. Okay, so maybe Houston or Boise deserves a spot instead of the Big East champion. Either way. The point is - the same type of debates would be in play whether there's a bracket system or the current one.

I could live with a plus-one, and I've not yet heard anyone who has even the slightest gripe with that idea. This would help eliminate the concerns of those who cry foul when a perceived third deserving team is left on the outside looking in at Numbers 1 and 2 playing for the ultimate prize. The only possible criticism goes like this: Team No. 1 gets an extra weekend of rest while Team Nos. 2 and 3 knock heads for the right to play Team No. 1. Okay, but then I can point out how teams with long layoffs or coming off bye weeks in first-round playoff scenarios often come out rusty and with a lack of momentum.

So basically, the arguments are never going to end.

But all the pontificating and debating and pollstering is what makes this stuff so juicy. In a certain way, a bracket system reduces any sort of drama or fun. Draw up your 8, 12 or 16 spots, slot your teams in and let it all rip. And don't talk to me about a 4-team playoff. That's just dumb. Either go all-out with this or don't do it at all.

Okay, so you've got your bracket drawn up now. Why should I care about the Bedlam game this Saturday pitting one-loss Oklahoma State against two-loss Oklahoma? They're both most likely making a 16-team bracket. Who even cares who wins the conference?

Why should I have given a damn about Michigan vs. Ohio State this past Saturday if I didn't have a rooting interest for one of those teams? Ohio State has had, by their standards, a sub-par season. Reasons for that aside, it's clear they're not making a playoff and Michigan is. Why watch the game? If it's all about the destination and not the journey, why pay any attention to the journey? I may as well give up Saturdays watching any of these games, and just gloss over the AP Rankings and BCS Standings on Monday morning to get a feel for who's got a shot at the title and who doesn't.

The best example of all - would No. 1 LSU vs. No. 2 Alabama earlier this year have garnered nearly as much attention if it was basically predetermined (and it was) that the Tigers and Crimson Tide were both bracket-bound? Hell to the No!

It's so much more enjoyable to have the perspective of following the sport closely throughout the year and being able to pick out which games are essentially 'playoff' games and which ones aren't. Honestly, it's not even that difficult to do this either. You don't even have to be a junkie (though it helps).

This weekend's conference championship contests are the final chance for teams at or near the top to sway voters into tallying schools into their best possible destination. An extension of those 'playoff' games previously mentioned.

Should No. 1 LSU still play for a title even with a loss to Georgia this weekend in the SEC title game? Should No. 3 Oklahoma State leap-frog idle No. 2 Alabama with a convincing victory over their in-state rival Sooners? These are the questions the CFB junkies are waiting to have answered. It's fairly clear that the championship game will likely involve 2 of these 3 teams. LSU's overall body of work this year has been impressive enough to likely garner it a spot in the title game, even with a loss to the 9-2 Bulldogs. This is where it gets a bit complicated, because if this weekend's game is a 'playoff' - then how can LSU lose but still be rewarded with a chance to be called the best team in the country? I have a feeling the Tigers won't let that debate happen. This might be LSU's best team ever, and that's saying something. I also can't see Oklahoma State leap-frogging 'Bama, having lost to an unranked opponent, even though it was in double-overtime. If you can't kick a 37-yard field goal for a clinching victory in regulation, you're probably not the best team in the country.

Here's hoping my current 'okay with a playoff' stance doesn't come back to bite me in the tookus someday. Right now I'm fine with it.

PENN STATE

The Penn State scandal has been attacked, covered, dissected, taken apart, put back together and re-disassembled about 20 ways until Tuesday by now. But I'd be remiss if I didn't offer my thoughts on this, since it's by far one of the most polarizing, attention-grabbing sports-related stories in a long time. Still unbelievable is how many are describing it.

Having grown up less than an hour and a half from the university and having many friends and family members who have been lifelong supporters of JoePa and the Blue and White, this whole event has impacted many of us in a way that's difficult to put into words. First off, I'm not, nor have I ever been, a Penn State fan. I don't know - maybe it's how much it was shoved down my throat by everyone around me from a young age, turning me off even more. Maybe it's my reluctance to support a guy who, though universally revered in the college game, seems ultimately resistant to change and alternative ideas. Let's face it, if Penn State didn't always play like it's still 1975, maybe they could have been in more national championship discussions over the past 20 years or so (I nearly fell over in disbelief when I saw the Nittany Lions become the Nittany ‘Wildcats’ a couple weeks ago).

But beyond that, I've never been one to get too far behind any institution that browbeats so heavily about off-the-field model behavior. We've all heard jokes about athletes at schools like Miami or USC, and some of the stuff that is overlooked. But at least those schools aren't purporting to uphold values that they ultimately don't in reality.

For all of JoePa's morality and talk about 'The Great Experiment,' Penn State often proves to be no different than any other huge university in a small town. There is a culture of drinking and partying (PSU has been at or near the top of the 'party schools' lists that pop up every year) among the students who hypocritically claim their undying love and support for a man who upholds morality above all else. And as we found out, that guy most likely failed to act appropriately when learning that some of the most despicable behavior a person can commit was happening right under his nose.

The illusion that everything is A-okay in Happy Valley has always bothered me, even before we learned that there was a defensive coordinator who was allegedly a serial child molester.

The students love the ultimate moralist behind their institution so much that they riot and overturn vans when he's fired for malfeasance, flying directly in the face of what their beloved father figure would want them to do in the first place. People bought into the misguided notion that student-athletes in Happy Valley are somehow more noble or moral than their counterparts in other geographic regions of the country, as if Centre County, Pa. has some sort of magical vapors in the air that make the college football players there superior human beings. Most of all, people went all in on the idea that one man could symbolize everything they believed about being a model citizen, an ideal person, and a leader of young men.

As we learned a few weeks back, there are no more surprises left. Nobody is above reproach. And there is no such thing as a person who doesn’t make the occasional mistake.

I guess that's one of the reasons I always liked the 'Michigans' of the college football world. I don't see a whole lot of romanticizing going on. Just the desire to win games. Every program has its problems, for sure. But the fall from grace isn't as far when you don't hoist yourself up so high in the first instance.

For example, I wonder if a school like LSU would trade the two national championships it’s won in the past decade (and chance for a third in about 6 weeks) for Penn State’s legendary media reputation, institutional figurehead coach and zero titles since 1986, scandal aside. I think I know the answer. And if you think football fans in the SEC aren’t as crazy for their teams as Blue-and-White supporters are for Penn State, take a trip down south one fall Saturday, please, and report back to me.

As for the actual incident, I'd prefer to allow all the facts to come out before saying anything further. But if it's all true, I can only hope the victims find some peace in this world, in one way or another.

Why the Eagles Won't Win Super Bowl XLVI

2011-11-03T00:42:00.000-04:00

Don't be fooled. I'm not.

I've been a Philadelphia Eagles fan long enough to know better.

The Eagles' 34-7 dismantling of hated division rival the Dallas Cowboys Sunday night has everyone back on 'The Dream Team' paddywagon once again.

You know, our 24/7 reactionary sports news cycle is like a bunch of 10-year-olds with ADD.

"Hey look, they beat the crap out of a 3-3 team with a hot-and-cold QB, they're the best team in the NFC behind Green Bay!"

Not so fast my friend (props to Lee Corso).

True, Sunday night's performance at The Linc was probably the most complete all-around four quarters of football the Green Men have compiled thus yet in the 2011 season. But when you put it up against their other efforts, that's like saying it's the most polished turd in a punch bowl filled with barely polished turds.

Also, any joy that Philly fans are feeling should be tempered by the fact that this victory came against the very definition of a 'Jekyll and Hide' football team. On one given day, Tony Romo hustles his squad down the field late in the fourth quarter in San Francisco like a crafty vet, sporting a cracked rib or two all the while, to hand the suddenly daunting 49ers their only loss of the season. In other tight games (see NY Jets), he has been decidedly un-heroic during the late moments when his team had a chance to win. But then, this is typical Cowboys - flooded with talent but inconsistency personified.

Had that thorough butt whipping by the Eagles come against Green Bay, Detroit or San Francisco, I would be admittedly slightly more encouraged. Although even then, I would still like to see this sort of potential realized on a more regular basis. There is still a ton of work to do in order to be one of the top 3-4 teams in the NFC, and a 2-4 start through the first six games unfortunately leaves little margin for error going forward.

Here's a quick breakdown of what I do and don't like about these 2011 Philadelphia Eagles:

PROS list: Diverse, multi-talented offense; the ability to move the ball/score against most any defense when play-calling and execution are fully realized; Two of the best pass-rushing defensive ends in the game (Trent Cole, Jason Babin) and three of the most skilled defensive backs (Nnamdi Asomugha, Asante Samuel, Dominic Rodgers-Cromartie); Veteran coaching staff; Noticeable improvement in the offensive line play this season due primarily to the addition of veteran O-line coach Howard Mudd.

CONS list: Weak spots on defense (linebackers, safeties) that can be badly exposed when attacked properly (run/pass plays up the middle, over the middle); Downgrade in kicking game since the start of the season (losing David Akers in the offseason - Akers was one of the most consistently reliable field goal makers in the game - for rookie Alex Henery); Always one of the most penalized teams in the league (this year is no different) often contributing to losing efforts; Turnover ratio has regressed compared to last year (Michael Vick alone has 8 interceptions through the first 7 games of this season but finished with a total of 6 INTs in 2010); Andy Reid still has a tendency to mismanage the clock inside of 2-3 minutes left in the half; The decision to move former o-line coach Juan Castillo to defensive coordinator has been a questionable move, to say the least, and appears to have a lot to do with the considerable defensive deficiencies; Michael Vick is more injury/concussion prone than ever before.

I could go on with the 'Cons' list, but I think you get the point. There's a lot more this team has done/is doing wrong than right, even with Sunday's juggernaut showing taken fully into consideration.

The Eagles are kind of like an impressive fireworks display. Every now and then they wow you, but they go away quickly and you pretty much forget it/them. Their weaknesses are always exposed when they do make the playoffs, and perhaps most troubling of all, they display a baffling inability to make crucial game-time adjustments when the predetermined plan of action just isn't working.

Championship teams can adjust on the fly and adapt to the strengths/weaknesses of their opponents. The Eagles play their own brand of football, and everything else be damned. They have their own rope, and it will always either hang the opposition or hang the Eagles. But they'll never throw their own rope to the side and look for a new one when it just ain't happening for them.

When you play that style of football, you need a variety of factors to go your way to get that big prize - in this case, The Lombardi Trophy.

What would have to happen for the Eagles to do this? Well they would need a lot of help from the opposition since they most certainly won't stop making their own mistakes. They need to stay healthy (kind of obvious, right?) In other words, they're not going all the way with a half-hearted Michael Vick. They need that toughness, swagger and mojo that they seemed to have in the early part of the 2000s, when they made 4 straight NFC Championship games and one Super Bowl. I'm just not sure this current coaching regime inspires that.

Many of the current players have all gone on record about how much they love and support Reid, and will go to battle for him under any circumstances. I guess it's easy to feel that way about a coach who never chews you out or gets pissed off, even when things look miserable.

Reid is the ultimate 'me' guy. He's always quick to blame himself and never his players when things go wrong, but he never seems to have a response for how to fix it. Improvements only come in the form of the Eagles being better than future opponents by default of their talent or game plan. And that's exactly why they can't make that next-level jump and beat the truly elite teams.

You know what I'd love to hear from Andy after a bad loss, just once? Instead of "It all starts with me, it's all my fault" ... I'd love to hear him adopt the Bill Belichick or Rex Ryan approach of "We stunk today. We got beat. We were outcoached and under-prepared."

Notice the word that begins each of those last three sentences. It's two letters and it starts with a 'W.'

It's perfectly acceptable to make everyone accountable for a bad loss. Just like players do not alone lose a game, neither does the coaching staff. It's got to be shared for it to truly play as a team dynamic. How can the Eagles' players truly feel 'on the hot seat' when they're never really culpable for their actions, save for some heat by the fans? (You'll always have that though, especially in Philly).

By all accounts, Reid is a wonderful guy. You can tell he's just too goddamn nice to lay into any of his players, no matter how serious their infractions might be. But all that leniency has to vanish and be replaced by a greater sense of urgency if the Eagles are really going to be champions one day.

I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

Enough Metal to Build a Skyscraper

2011-09-16T16:07:00.000-04:00

It was with mixed feelings of joy, fear, trepidation, nostalgia, ambivalence, hope and all-around not knowing what to expect that I approached this past Wednesday's Big 4 of Heavy Metal concert at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx.

I mean, here I was, about to witness for the first time - along with my primary NYC-area concert-going friend as it applies to witnessing musical acts of the guitar-bass-vocals-and-drums variety - two of the all-time hallowed metal music kingpins, lynchpins of the industry that I spent countless hours listening to, watching and admiring during an often un-stimulating late 80s/early 90s adolescence in central Pennsylvania.

Music was the one thing that I could always count on to get me jazzed up (but generally not jazz music). Metallica's 'Master of Puppets' or Slayer's 'Seasons in the Abyss' was never not going to sound awesome, no matter how many times I listened to the cassettes from front to back, or stayed up late on a Saturday night to watch Headbanger's Ball until 2 in the morning knowing that an early-morning Sunday wake-up call and a trip to Church were in short order.

As an aside, am I destined for hellfire because I was playing classic metal in my head while in church to get through the experience whenever the off-key singing of religious recitations wasn't chorusing through the cavernous building and disturbing the in-my-head live shows that always took place from approximately 9:30 to 11 a.m. every Sunday morning? If so, I guess I'll go down rocking out, rather than going up as a square.

Either way, a whole lot was on the line for this concert. Stakes were high - for the fans, for the performers, for pretty much everyone involved. For the first time in the NYC metro area, the primary four 80s thrash-metal heavyweights were occupying the same stage in one night of what would either turn out to be a bloated, past-its-prime display of retrospectively ridiculous musical excess, or a mega-ton bomb of supremely fulfilling, ear-splitting, precise metal madness that would sound good in 1981, 2011 or 2052.

Thankfully, we got the latter, not the former.

Admittedly, I'm predisposed to that opinion because of my loyalties and proclivities for these particular bands and their classic music. But I've never been one to follow trends or do something just because everyone else is on the bandwagon. And I would have no problem elucidating an opinion of disappointment or a sense of "why did I ever like this shit?" had I really felt that way before, during and after the concert.

I'm happy to report this shit sounded just as good at age 34 as it did at age 13.

I can cross Metallica and Slayer off my live-show bucket list. I'm very happy about that. I didn't get there in time for Anthrax and Megadeth since this ode to buzzsaw solos, complex riffing and harshly soaring vocals kicked off at 4 p.m. and I've got this unfortunate responsibility known as a "day-job" (I'm working on that, really I promise).

But my friend who purchased the tickets and arrived shortly before I did assured me that Megadeth was indeed impressive, as he caught the later part of their set. I have to say, I would probably have given up a quart or two of blood to see songs like "Hangar 18" or "Holy Wars (The Punishment Due)" performed live at break-neck speed. But such is life.

As it stands, I knew I was in for a hell of a performance. Well, two of them, actually.

At about 7 p.m. sharp, Slayer took the stage, and did just what the fuck Slayer does (or so it's been said by others who have experienced a live Slayer show). I would use the word 'intense' to describe a Slayer concert, but then the word 'intense' would most surely have some cross words for me for not doing the description proper justice.

Let's put it this way - I've often found that bands who are great in a live setting are usually a more exaggerated manifestation of the persona that comes across on record. Slayer fits that mold, tenfold.

My friend and I were in the Grandstand seats, probably about 8 or so rows from the very last row in the house. It sounds like we got bum seats, but honestly, I loved being that far up. We could still hear everything clear as a bell, we could see the big screens projecting the on-stage action quite clearly, and the field of vision from that high up allows you to really survey the whole scene and see what's going on - namely, the small circle-shaped mosh pits that kept sporadically forming while Slayer was murdering the shit out of the audience. Only the strong survive a Slayer mosh-pit. A different concert-going friend and I barely made it through two and a half songs at a Rage Against the Machine mosh pit on Governor's Island four years ago, but I digress.

In a nutshell, Slayer's set was comparable to a heat-seeking missile. It gets there fast, it's not pretty, it causes mayhem and destruction the whole time, and when it's over, you kind of just sit there in awe for a few minutes at what you just witnessed. Such was the case as three of the original four members - Tom Araya, Kerry King and Dave Lombardo, playing along with a fill-in for Jeff Hanneman - sonically assaulted Yankee Stadium with a harrowing blast of old classics and new material. After 60 minutes, with a few silent pauses between songs and minimal crowd banter from Araya, it was all over. If you wanted more after that was done, you're one sick puppy, because too much more of that would have been too much to handle. And I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.

Slayer is so bombastic, so mind-bending and so unlike any other band in the history of time that to over-indulge in them is to do yourself an injustice. They are most effective in small doses, like ultra-rich cheesecake, or an annoying-but-super-nice co-worker.

End result, I couldn't have been happier with Slayer. And after doing some quick post-concert internet research to learn that this band is all basically pushing 50 years of age and still putting on that kind of a show, I felt immediately like a failure for being about 14 years younger and complaining about getting out of bed tired the next day. Slayer doesn't get tired. They slap 'tired' across the face with their fretboards and drum sticks.

The highlights for me were "War Ensemble," "Dead Skin Mask," "Angel of Death," "Chemical Warfare" and of course the piece de resistance "Raining Blood" and "Postmortem" - the two closing tracks from the classic album 'Reign in Blood.' These two work best when played together since one transitions seamlessly into the other as recorded on the album. They broke them up for this set, but I'm not complaining.

Slayer exited the stage just before 8 p.m., leaving everyone in the place amazed, amused, aghast and other adjectives that begin with the letter 'a.' I took this opportunity to get the closest I possibly could to a real dinner, which consisted of exactly two overpriced hot dogs and a half-flat Pepsi. Sixteen dollars and a few hundred nitrate-soaked calories later, I hit the bathroom and returned to our seats to await the mother-effing mother-lode of metal madness - Metallica. In all their glory. As with Slayer, three of the four original lineup members would be in effect. For 30 years, it's been James Hetfield (guitar/vocals), Kirk Hammett (lead and rhythm guitar) and Lars Ulrich (drums). Many fans, both casual and hardcore, know the bass-player history. Original bassist Cliff Burton, one of the truly innovative pioneers of 80s metal bass playing and a huge creative force in Metallica's early sound, was tragically killed in a bus accident in Europe as the band was touring to promote the 1986 release "Master of Puppets" - generally hailed as the band's best 80s album (many would say their best record to date, including me).

Jason Newsted was a longtime replacement, and a few other guys have come and gone, but now they've got Robert Trujillo, former longtime bassist for Suicidal Tendencies. He's proven to be an ample substitution.

At about 5 minutes to 9, the lights went down and the operatic intro music began playing, set against a backdrop of war movies/TV show explosions playing on the big screens mounted on either side of the stage.

And before you knew it, there were the kings of this heavy metal music shit, launching into a blistering rendition of "Creeping Death," a classic cut from their sophomore LP "Ride the Lightning."

It was interesting to note the difference in fan reaction between Slayer and Metallica. People respect Slayer. They sit in awe of them, and every now and then a random fan throws out a "Fucking SLAAAYYERR!!" yell.

But people absolutely whole-hog LOVE Metallica. I've never seen such a devoted, frenzied reaction to a band before, and I've been to a LOT of concerts. It was a whole other level on both sides of the fence, both from the band and the fans. That's when a show is at its best - when all parties involved are giving it 189 percent and filling the need that each has from the other. It was truly magnetic.

Any doubts anyone may have been having about the ability of bands like Metallica and Slayer to perform at a high level at this stage of their careers was firmly put to rest Wednesday night. Sure it helps that they're only doing a handful of these shows a year rather than 4-5 nights every week. But nevertheless, it's something to behold.

Also, Metallica's overall presentation was like nothing I've ever seen. They made the most of the Yankee Stadium setting by using a dizzying blend of pyrotechnics, lasers, fire - and, I shit you not - fireWORKS to help illuminate what was already a memorable performance.

Preceding the gripping war tale "One" was a barrage of thunderous gun shots and mini-explosions on stage to mimic the sounds and sights of a firefight in some Godforsaken Middle Eastern shit-hole.

Towers of flame exploded into the night sky during "Fuel" - especially in the seconds after Hetfield would shriek into the mic "Gimme Fuel, Gimme Fire, Gimme that which I desire!" Thankfully, no such stage accidents would befall any of the band members such as when Hetfield got burned on stage during an early 90s Vancouver show on a tour with Guns'n'Roses, leading to a cancellation and subsequent fan rioting after Axl Rose - only a couple songs into G'n'R's set - threw a hissy-fit and stormed off stage to leave the frustrated fans devoid of not just one but BOTH performances.

No sir, there would be no disappointments on this great night of music. Metallica slammed through songs old and new, giving the people what they wanted. They played half of the classic albums 'Ride the Lightning' and 'Master of Puppets.' And they didn't seem to hit one off note all night.

Probably my favorite moment during the set came in the form of the instrumental 'Orion' - a song that's probably been played live only a handful of times over the past 20 years. It's an almost 9-minute masterwork of guitar-and-drum wizardry, and it's essentially the band's tribute to the late, great Burton, who was hugely influential in the stylistic and melodic progressions the band made from their first two albums (Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning) to their third one (Master of Puppets).

And when has the title track to 'Puppets' ever not kicked ass? Same for "Battery" and "Sanitarium." "Blackened," the harrowing opening track from '...And Justice for All" was a great surprise, while other classic gems like "Sad But True," "For Whom the Bell Tolls" and "Ride the Lightning" further cemented what a mind-blowing show this really was.

When it was all said and done, Metallica had played for 2 hours and 15 minutes. Nobody could complain they didn't get their money's worth.

And nothing was as bad-ass as members of all 'Big 4' bands coming on stage toward the end of Metallica's set to engage in a spirited rendition of the Motorhead classic "Overkill" - taking turns on guitar, vocals and drums between verses and choruses.

If your appetite for good metal wasn't sated after this blitzkrieg of insanity, then I don't know what else to say, other than "you have no off-switch."

It was completely amazing to re-live some youthful nostalgia by being lucky enough to actually see these bands at this juncture of their careers performing at such a high level. This is what's great about being a musician. You never get too old. You never lose the will to keep doing it.

There will always be a Slayer or Metallica show playing somewhere in the recesses of my aural passages.

Linden Boulevard, Represent Represent-sent

2011-07-19T18:33:00.000-04:00

Thank you, Michael Rapaport.

You have proven to be extremely valuable to the popular public discourse for something other than being recognized as a bit-player in 'True Romance' and 'Higher Learning,' or for your surprisingly funny turn as a disgruntled employee in the 'Pop Copy' sketch on Chappelle's Show.

For you, good sir, compiled and directed an admirably entertaining and thought-provoking documentary on seminal 1990s hip hop collective A Tribe Called Quest, titled "Beats Rhymes & Life" (incidentally, also the name of the group's fourth album, a release that sadly signaled the beginning of the end for the ambitious Queens jazz-rap pioneers).

I've been as amped up as a trailer park junkie waiting for a new shipment of Heisenberg's blue crystal upon finding out that said doc was to be released this summer.

Tribe holds special significance for me. They were the first true iteration of genuine, non-mainstream hip hop that I discovered in my younger days, and absorbing their rare form of jazz-infused musical goodness was instrumental in setting me on a path of discovery for a sonic movement that once thrived, but is now unfortunately buried in a morass of generic and uninspired beats/lyrics, marketing, self-promotion, twitter, auto-tune, i-tunes and a new generation of listeners that wasn't around to appreciate hip hop's golden era.

In the late 1990s, the Wu-Tang Clan is the hip hop collective I would claim as the genre's saviors, and my personal favorites. But before there was Wu-Tang, and before there was Biggie, even before Tupac started blowing up, there was the Native Tongues movement, spearheaded largely by A Tribe Called Quest and their 'hip hop brothers from another mother' De La Soul.

Yes, Tribe was amongst the early hip hop acts that wasn't concerned with videos, swag, chart positioning, groupies or any of the pratfalls that has prematurely claimed the careers of many a great musical artist. The focus was on the music, plain and simple. And boy, did Q-Tip and DJ Ali Shaheed Muhammad dig deep into the crates to find some of the most blessed, inspiring soundscapes to serve as a backdrop for the dope lyrical stylings of Tip and Phife Dawg.

The documentary was filmed mostly during Tribe's 2008 Reunion Tour, when they performed at the annually largely-attended Rock the Bells Festival. As with most films of this genre, we see the chronological progression of Tribe's career, the genesis of how they all met each other and began performing and recording their music. But a constant overall theme that Rapaport is wise to examine heavily is the long-standing tension between Q-Tip and Phife Dawg, which ultimately led to what many would describe as a premature disbanding of the group in 1998.

To be honest, Tribe breaking up when they did was a dagger in the heart of hip hop fans everywhere. The musical form was starting to navigate into a weird place. The 1980s represented the art form's burgeoning popularity and its invasion into the mainstream music-consuming experience. It was no longer just for jeeps and landcruisers rumbling through gritty urban landscapes, or block parties in the South Bronx or Union Square, or the rowhomes of Philadelphia or Baltimore.

It began to find its way into the homes of white suburbia. My own experience is proof positive. As far back as 1987 in east central Pennsylvania, I can vividly remember my older brother and I owning at least 3 cassettes that were an integral part of us becoming rap music fans at a young age - and for the curious-minded, those cassettes were Run DMC's "Raising Hell," (1984) The Beastie Boys' "Licensed to Ill" (1986) and LL Cool J's "Bad" (1987). Which is all fine and good.

But those artists are prime examples of those who were groomed for the big-time, for mainstream success. Even in the world of hip hop and rap music, there is a clear divide between those who enjoyed that type of success, and those who never quite made that large an impression in terms of overall popularity and record sales, but have a certain amount of respect and cache that can never be measured in dollar signs. Tribe certainly falls into that latter category, and it's always a magical experience when you discover your first favorite musical collective that is great to you, but will completely miss the boat with almost everyone else. Then, as you get older, you realize that just because a large number of people aren't digging something, that doesn't mean it's not good. It just means it wasn't made for the masses. This perfectly describes Tribe's music, as well as that of countless other highly-respected genre practitioners from back in the day.

Tribe's sound is rooted in jazz horns, thumping rhythms, fat bass lines and the smooth rhymes and flow of Tip and Phife. There's also a noticeable touch of social awareness in some tracks, and an appreciation for the music they're creating. With Tribe, the music isn't merely a vehicle for a message, as is the case with righteous power-rappers Public Enemy, or the gangster posturing of N.W.A. With Tribe, the music and lyrics co-exist together effortlessly and beautifully, unlike many unbalanced rap artists who are clearly much more gifted at either music or rhymes.

Beats Rhymes and Life, however, explores the degeneration of Tribe as much as, if not more so, the actual music. Some would criticize the film for this, but I say, it's an endeavor worth exploring, especially since so many years have passed since the breakup, and all that we fans have ever been able to pontificate about it all is - "Uh, so that's it? They're not getting along anymore?" As I mentioned before, the type of hip hop that Tribe excelled at was beginning to die out when the group broke up anyway. If you want to get philosophical about it, you could ask which event triggered the other? Did Tribe break up because they couldn't figure out how to continue putting out great music within the context of hip hop's rapidly evolving state, or did the shift that hip hop was undergoing signal the 'end' for musical acts cut from Tribe's cloth?

I prefer to think it was the latter, but I recognize that on many levels that simply makes me a curmudgeon, and not entirely unlike the grumpy grandfather shaking his cane from his front porch at the rowdy youngsters. However, I know there are lots of others who feel the same way.

Ultimately, Tribe's first three albums - People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm (1989), The Low End Theory (1991) and Midnight Marauders (1993) - are the gold standard by which all innovative hip hop of that time capsule is measured. Nobody could fuck with Tribe back then, and all real hip hop heads knew it. Yeah, maybe they weren't getting as many spins as Dre and Snoop when "The Chronic" exploded, but like I said, real heads knew where the hip hop perfection was truly located. Tip or Phife would slay Dre or Snoop in a lyrical battle without batting an eye.

Then after Midnight Marauders, they took an extended break. Phife's health troubles began to seriously take their toll (he's suffered from diabetes for most of his life, and needed a kidney transplant within the past few years from his wife). Aside from that, Phife and Tip have long had their own personal turmoil with each other regarding their individual roles and their relationship with each other as defined through Tribe. Tip states repeatedly in the documentary that it's about the group, and no one individual should rise above any of the others. That sounds great and all, but for hip hop fans in general, it's fairly routine knowledge that Tip is the group's defining member. He had the business savvy, and he was the guy making sure shit got done. Phife, it seems, was happy to write and spit nasty rhymes, but that's where it seemed to end with him. As we all know, you need at least one guy in the group to be the one who cracks the whip; the 'dad' making sure everyone eats their peas before dessert. Apparently, that was Tip, and Phife grew tired of it after awhile.

But it would be unwise to blame the group's disbanding simply on the Phife/Tip squabble. The changing landscape of hip hop was part of it. The fact that "Beats Rhymes and Life" and "The Love Movement" were received with lukewarm reception from both fans and critics alike was another part of it. Nothing continues forever. At least they still reunite for a tour every once in a while. I saw them myself twice, once at Rock the Bells in '08 and again at Rock the Bells last year, and let me tell you, they were amazing in the more recent performance (not even a year ago).

Hip hop is still alive and well if you know how to keep it going. But the current musical landscape isn't littered with groups like Tribe, De La Soul, Biggie, Tupac, Rakim, Gang Starr, Big L and a whole host of others. It's not like it was 15-20 years ago and beyond. To find the good-to-great stuff is harder than ever, but it IS out there.

Beats Rhymes and Life is an extremely in-depth look at Tribe. Tip, Phife, Ali Shaheed Muhammad (the peace-loving DJ who just wanted to make music) and Jarobi (whose spirit defined what Tribe was really all about) made musical history, and every now and then, they do revisit that special place. Even if you're not a huge fan of hip hop, it's hard not to appreciate this flick. Tons of cameos from hip hop visionaries abound as well, such as Busta Rhymes, Beastie Boys, De La Soul, Common, even Black Thought and Questlove from The Roots.

But perhaps the most poignant moment in the film comes when Phife is discussing the current state of hip hop, and pontificating whether other career options he’s considering might need to take over his involvement full-time. He makes an allusion, with respect to the music, about “the way things are going,” and sort of trails off while shaking his head, letting those words hang in the air.

At that point in the otherwise animated (for much of the movie, anyway) theater, it was soft enough to hear the needle dropping on an old piece of vinyl from about 50 feet away.

A METH-od to his Madness

2011-07-13T17:58:00.000-04:00

Sunday, July 17th, marks the return of television's greatest crime drama. And if you consider yourself a fan of episodic TV crime drama, then you are undoubtedly aware that the above reference is to the darkly brilliant and wholly engrossing AMC show "Breaking Bad," a tour de force of desperate characters and unbelievable events that has only gained considerable momentum with the passing of each of its three seasons.

I shouldn't have to break you off with the "spoiler alert" warning if you're already this far in, but let's make it official. If you haven't peeped the manuscript, avert your eyes, because lots of plot points from past episodes need to be revealed here.

First of all, it would be boring and a waste of time for you to read some lengthy fan-boy dissertation about how fantastic this show is, how solid the acting is, or how much it sucks you in and convinces you to root for characters you would rather not piss on if they were set ablaze.

If you're a fan of the show you already know all about what makes BB great, and have your own well-formed (or perhaps not so well-formed) opinions. If you're not a fan of the show and haven't seen it, you're likely either scrolling past this section, or more realistically, muttering to yourself "Who the hell is the Player President and why does he call himself that" while hitting the 'back' button on your web page and looking for someone who you may actually have heard of before.

Either way, I would prefer to delve into something a tad juicier. Perhaps a topic not so easily dissected - much like that first frog in freshman Biology (or something you did in Chemistry - cue Mr. Walter White in ugly smock and safety goggles!)

I would love to explore for a bit, if I may, the much-debated aspect of how the show forces us to consider morality, how easily skewed our sense of right and wrong can become by mitigating circumstances, and perhaps most importantly, whether the show's central character Walter White - portrayed flawlessly these past three seasons by the uber-talented Bryan Cranston - orchestrated his manifestation into "a bad guy."

I use the "quotes" because I'm not entirely sure if I would even classify Mr. White as such, crazy as though that may sound to both casual and hardcore viewers of the show alike.

Pop culture philosopher extraordinaire Chuck Klosterman has constructed an intriguing take on Breaking Bad, comparing it to three other highly acclaimed TV dramas from the past decade (Mad Men, The Sopranos and The Wire). As riveting a read as this is, I find myself to be in at least mild disagreement with the viewpoint that Walter White at some point "changed himself" and decided "to become bad."

I'm not even sure what this means, really. Are we to believe that anyone wakes up one day and consciously wills himself/herself to begin committing morally questionable actions from that point onward? Even if the argument is such that this is a gradual transformation, it seems a questionable theory at best. Behaving "bad" or "good" isn't any more of a choice within us than whatever it is that exists in our brains and causes us to decide we might prefer mozzarella cheese over American, or that we may rather blue over green. It's all hard-wired within us before we can even ponder the question.

When I view Walter White, I see a man who opened a series of doors over the course of the show with a noble initial goal - to provide for his family after what appeared at the time to be his imminent demise. It is this choice, coupled with White's backstory, that has placed him into the position we find him during the gripping conclusion of Season 3 - hastily ordering the murder of an innocent man to save his own hide. (And if you think you wouldn't ever do the same thing if your own ass was on the line, you may not know yourself as well as you think you do).

My point is this -- folks like Walter White who color inside the lines for their whole lives cannot become something they aren't any more so than Marlo Stanfield from The Wire can put on a business suit, hobnob with city officials and stay off the streets. But what they can do is awaken something within themselves they didn't know was there when desperate times call for desperate measures. This isn't so much a reflection of a conscious decision to change as it is letting your body and brain take over naturally to accomplish goals that you see as needing to be realized, without any other option.

To give you a microcosmic example, I've observed behavior in New York City from people who would never otherwise need to exhibit such actions to get ahead, or even 'tread water', just about anywhere else in the country, geographically speaking. But because they are in New York and are subject to the unwritten rules and laws of such a hyper, Type-A mentality and culture, they do what they have to do or else they'll never get anywhere. And I'm not just talking about in the corporate world either. It can be as innocuous as getting the spot you want on a crowded subway car, or using just the right blend of assertiveness and politeness to get a table at the crowded restaurant with amazing food but horrible customer service skills.

Walter White finding out that a terminal disease was about to claim him from a meekly-lived, routine existence was the catalyst to awaken within him that which was always present, but just lying there dormant.

Does anyone think he took some crazy pills one day to transform himself into somebody that willingly allows young female drug addicts to choke to death on their own vomit with nobody else around to stop it, or the guy who barrels his modest middle-class automobile into a pair of wasteoid drug dealers before planting some liquid steel into their heads to finish the job with the no-doubt-about-it killshot?

Let's look back on just a few examples of some of the more heinous acts Walt has committed, and we will soon realize he only did so out of self-preservation.

1) Putting in a fake call for DEA agent Hank about his wife Marie being involved in an auto accident to throw the investigation off the scent and buy Walt and Jesse more time when they were about to get busted in the RV? Self-preservation.

2) Allowing Jane to choke on her puke? Self-preservation. Remember, she threatened to expose Walt if he and Jesse wouldn't agree to cut her in on their profits, even though she was doing nothing to deserve any of those funds (other than being the subject of Jesse's unwavering love and affection).

3) Barrelling into those lowlifes and then caving in their brains with some hot lead when they were about to waste Jesse? Okay, not completely an act of self-preservation, but you could extrapolate that it actually was just that since Jesse is as important to Walt's current position as anyone else, and he needs him as a No. 2.

4) Phoning Jesse and imploring him to rush over to Gabe's house and "do the deed" is the ultimate act of self-preservation, and it was about as calculated as what you do when a line drive is screaming at your dome. It was the ONLY option for Walt to survive that situation, and he definitely wasn't thinking about it on his way over to the laundry facility to meet up with Hitman Mike, you best believe that shit.

There are certainly other examples. And look, let's not fool ourselves into believing that Walt doesn't make less hasty but still conscious choices that harm others on a daily basis (cooking meth that destroys lives and no doubt causes an untold myriad of individuals to overdose on his intoxicating brand of crystal heaven). But it's much easier to rationalize actions that harm others when the negative consequences and suffering of nameless, faceless individuals isn't presented before us as a direct result of the dark choices that we make. If anyone reading this can honestly say they've never performed an action - whether minor or major - that hurt someone else knowing that nobody could trace it directly back to them, then I can point you to a polygraph waiting impatiently to strike said person with a closed fist of skepticism.

Finally, I've seen others posit that the show builds itself around the concept that the main character, or "protagonist," transforms from a likeable to an unlikeable character, and that to do this is a crazy move on the part of the writers/show creators.

For me, quite the contrary. I think Walt has become more likeable since the show has started. In season one, when we see Walt working a shitty second job in a car wash and being berated by some of his obnoxious students, or when we later find out how he was once such a brilliant, promising scientist who should have made more of himself but was screwed over by more opportunistic "colleagues," we just feel bad for him.

It's with careful examination that we learn that Walt doesn't so much as "become bad" as he decides to stop letting life kick him in the balls time after time when it becomes apparent that the fuse that is his life is about to be snuffed out anyway by a terminal illness.

How can you not root for him when he leg-bombs that dickhead jock making fun of his kid that has Cerebral Palsy? How can you not identify with him when he flips out at the asshole car wash boss and quits in a fit of self-satisfied but somewhat justifiable rage? How could you possibly not want Walt to come out on top against these lowlifes around him who would be selling meth and jacking people up for a high regardless of what was happening around them?

The difference between Walt and someone who is "bad" is that Walt wouldn't fuck with a regular citizen under any circumstance. If you didn't already have it coming, you weren't going to get yours from Walt. Well, unless you become hooked on meth and send yourself into an irreversible downward spiral as a result of your addiction to Walt's blue-powdered candy. But even then, you can't blame your choices or addictions on an individual you never met before. Are we really so naive as to believe that someone else's meth wouldn't be killing people if Walt's product wasn't on the street?

We continue to root for Walt and his morally ambiguous choices not just because Cranston does such a wonderful job at evoking sympathy for his character's plight (that's part of it).

I would like to believe that we continue to root for Walt because he embodies what we all would love to believe is right and just in the world - and that is the story of a man who gets kicked to the ground by a gang of cowardly bitches (i.e. life pushing you around), picked back up, and then kicked back down again for some more abuse before saying "fuck it" and unleashing a holy hell's worth of vengeance on everything around you that's trying to stop your progress.

Breaking Bad is the story of a lot of different things, and a lot of different philosophical and morally debatable questions.

But above all else, I like to think that it's the story of a man who was always capable of anything, but behaved like a good citizen until being a good citizen just wasn't cutting it anymore.

Love or hate what Walt is becoming, what you should love is the fact that his "taking shit from people" days are long behind him.

The true brilliance of Breaking Bad is how we can find ourselves hoping that characters like Walt and Jesse can keep this ridiculous streak going. If heading into Season 4 we were supposed to be starting to hate Walt right about now, mission failed. I hate Pollos and Hitman Mike 10 times more than I hate Walt at the moment, and I don't even really hate those guys.

The only way I could hope that Walt actually fails or gets taken down is if he were to start sacrificing the citizenry who have no real place in all this ugliness. That's when someone has lost all control of their faculties (see the story about Pablo Escobar taking down a commercial airliner full of innocent people because he wanted to kill one guy who was found to not even have been ON THE PLANE!).

But who knows, this show is so unbelievably good that maybe even that wouldn't be enough for me to jump off the U.S.S. Walter White.

Shmoke and a Pancake? Blintz and a Blunt?

2011-05-17T17:22:00.002-04:00

Then there is no PLEEAASING you.

Dated Austin Powers references aside (2004's "Goldmember" WAS one of the funniest of that franchise), I come to enlighten and amaze you with opinions aplenty.

You may notice a disjointed smattering of seemingly random thoughts and patterns in this space lately, and less frequent updating.

I blame everyone/thing except myself.

But seriously, this entry is going to be like whatever type of artist just throws a bunch of crap at the canvas and lets it all fly. Is that an expressionist? A minimalist? Whatever.

Let us start in the merry land of sport.

FOOTBALL

Well, the most recent news is that as of this past Monday, the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed the ruling of U.S. District Court (Minnesota) Judge Susan Richard Nelson, who was of the opinion that the lockout should be lifted and league/player negotiations should immediately resume.

The three-judge panel at the appellate level ruled 2-1 in favor of a stay of Judge Nelson's decision, meaning that until the appeals court has further considered and finally ruled on the matter, the lockout is back in place (for now).

In the Monday Morning Quarterback column on si.com, Peter King - who has been covering the NFL for about 30 years now and was around for both of the league's work stoppages in the 1980s - reports that considering talks with others and his own view of the current situation, it's likely that if a deal isn't reached soon the season might not begin until as late as November.

I know we're all sick of the labor aspect of this story and we just want football to proceed on a normal schedule again, but what's at stake here is critical for the future of the league as well as the players. There's talk that the players are pushing for the elimination of the draft, and the possibility that all transactions would be facilitated through either a free-agent signing or team trade basis. In that scenario, each franchise would be worth its own weight in gold, without a collective bargaining agreement or revenue sharing of any kind. It would almost be like how the Yankees have a kajillion dollars, but the Kansas City Royals are expected to be able to compete with teams like N.Y. and Boston with limited funds, resources and difficulty attracting big-time talent or blue chip players.

Could you imagine it? The Dallas Cowboys and Pittsburgh Steelers type franchises would rule the sport, and teams like Cincinnati, Carolina and the like would struggle mightily. Parity would virtually vanish. We'd be back to the late 80s/early 90s era, when Dallas, San Fran, the N.Y. Giants and a few others reigned supreme and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers didn't have a prayer. Not sure this would necessarily be a good thing.

It should be interesting to see how the legality of this could play out. The NFL currently offers such a high-quality, sought-after product, but the future direction of the league's landscape could very well be primarily determined by lawyers in power suits and a couple of very powerful Appellate Court Judges. Here's to hoping the two sides can reach a semi-amiable agreement through mediation, but it hasn't looked so great thus far.

BASKETBALL

What can I say? I love the NBA. (Wow, they should use that as a marketing slogan!)

The Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs have been eliminated from the postseason, and the Final Four is down to Chicago vs. Miami for the Eastern Conference crown, and Dallas vs. Oklahoma City for the Western Conference title. I'm just glad there will be a new champion, and like most, I hope it isn't Miami. I'd be fine with any of the other three teams bringing home the hardware.

First off, I was one of the few who thought LeBron should have the right to go play wherever he wants after the infamous 'decision.' And I still believe that (even though I, like most, hated HOW he announced it to the world). But I also believe, having watched this Heat team all season, that there isn't anything about them that gets me to want to root for them. It's a calculated, assembly-line, built-for-a-championship team that seems devoid of chemistry or likability, and the same goes for their slick-haired, glitz-and-glamour head coach/Team Prez combo of Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley. There's nobody who appears as though he's genuinely enjoying his experience out there. Okay, maintain a tough facade, that's fine. But have a few human moments every now and then as well. They're so cold and calculating. I have a feeling the only happy emotions we would see from any of them would come only moments after winning a title, at which point most would have already long decided they wouldn't want to see those moments of joy in the first place.

You know, if LeBron had joined the Bulls, alone, and casually dropped it into a press conference unexpectedly that he was leaving Cleveland, without all the hype and fanfare, I think I would have a much different outlook on the situation. But the body of evidence for what's happened makes things clear. He made a big deal out of being part of a new 'Big 3' in Miami, replete with tons of media attention and the most overdone, ridiculous welcome party for a trio of players with only one championship ring amongst them that has ever been produced (youtube it, you'll see what I mean).

He's still a tremendous talent, with his physical gifts, his power, his speed, and his ability to drop 3-pointers from a standing position seemingly without effort. But he's not a killer (ala Jordan, Kobe), and he doesn't long to take over in big moments. It's Dwayne Wade's team, and we all know it. But Chicago gave the Heat quite a convincing beatdown in Game 1. We'll see what happens tomorrow night in Game 2, but I can easily say I'm rooting for the Bulls. Now that's truly a 'team basketball' type of squad. Derek Rose is clearly the man who makes them go, but their role players know their place, and have no problems with that.

As for the Dallas-OKC series, the Mavs are going to be one tough out. This might finally be their year to get a ring, having come so painfully close in 2006 before allowing a 3-1 series lead to implode into a 4-3 Finals loss at the hands of Miami. They've got a great starting five, a deep bench, and excellent coaching/management. The Thunder are a great story, but if they have enough left in the tank to take out this Dallas team (which swept the Lakers) - especially after OKC fought tooth-and-nail to beat Memphis in seven games in the WC Semifinals - I'll be amazed.

I think we're headed for Dallas vs. Chicago in the finals. At least I hope. If not, it will most likely be Dalls vs. Miami - in which case, I'll certainly be rooting for Mark Cuban, Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Kidd and company.

BASEBALL

I'm not used to rooting for a team that's a favorite (unless it comes to high school football - Go SCA!).

So when it comes to the 2011 Philadelphia Phillies, I'm still a bit gun-shy. Sure they've got R2C2 on the mound, one of the best starting rotations in the majors this year (if not the best) with Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels. But it's becoming increasingly clear that they've got little else on which to hang their funky, P-shaped, embroidered caps after 9 up, 9 down.

The offense has been quite anemic with Chase Utley out of the lineup (injury) and Jayson Werth having departed in the offseason. Ryan Howard continues to be all-or-nothing at the plate (don't expect that to change anytime soon). And defensively they're adequate, but not the best in the bigs or anything.

Middle relief and bullpen can use some work, but those areas are far from the worst that the Phightins' have seen.

As we all know, it's a brutally long season, and we're just over halfway through May. So yes, a ton can happen, both good and bad. I just caution anyone who's overly optimistic about this Phillies team to temper that enthusiasm with a healthy dose of reality every now and then. The offense needs to find its rhythm and start clicking. Still, I do recognize it's hard to complain with a division lead and a 10-games-over-.500 winning percentage.

MOVIES

Haven't seen a whole ton lately, but don't miss Bridesmaids. If you've been led to believe it's a chick-flick, stay clear of that propaganda, homey.

It's Judd Apatow and Paul Feig at their finest - raunchy at times, heartfelt at others, but genuine and ultimately, hilarious. Oh and you'll be re-introduced to Wilson Phillips, but in a good way (I promise).

There's actually a bunch of summer flicks I've highlighted that I want to check out over the next couple of months, but in El Presidente's usual style, none of the 'big blockbusters.'

Will keep you posted. You bring in the noise, I'll bring in da funk.

TV

There's always good shit on TV, no surprise. Mad Men has been pushed back to 2012, and we'll also need to wait until then for Season 3 of the brilliant Eastbound & Down.

But we do have Breaking Bad making its return to AMC, likely in July. Season 4 promises to keep raising the bar and upping the ante, but I'm not sure how much better this show can get.

SPOILER ALERT

Will Walt's power play (having Jessie kill Gabe) come back to bite him, or will it guarantee his safety, at least in the immediate future, while earning him respect in the eyes of Gus (aka 'Pollos') for his steel cojones? Will Jessie really need to skip the country now because of his infraction with Gabe, leaving Walt by himself and breaking up everyone's favorite two-man Meth-cook crew? Will Hank ever put two and two together, and what in God's name will happen when/if he does? Will Walt and Skylar get back together? Tons of questions.

Michael Scott is done on The Office, and I was glad they didn't beat us over the head with his departure. It was more understated, and we've already seen that the show will be just fine without him. They've totally mis-used Will Ferrell (bad job by them), but you can't win 'em all.

30 Rock was decent as usual, but it's on summer hiatus, and I have to say Parks & Recreation is killing it. It's improved in leaps and bounds. They've hit on a winning formula, great cast too. Don't eff it up, peeps.

Season 2 of 'Treme' began on HBO a few weeks back, and it's consistently excellent, as it was last season. David Simon and his crew are just spot-on at capturing the local flavor of a given locale when they shoot there, which is the essence of his work at its finest. Post-Hurrican Katrina New Orleans comes to life like nowhere else in this brilliant one-hour show. It's not packed with high drama every second and replete with shootouts galore, but if you can invest intellectually what the show demands to be enjoyed to its fullest, you won't be let down - trust me.

Finally, going into the back catalog of some shit I never seen before, but am glad I'm seeing it now, I present to you the addictive, powerful HBO prison drama 'Oz,' which aired from 1997-2003. This show is INSANE, but in a really good way. In some ways, I want to put it up there with 'The Wire' or 'Breaking Bad' or other similarly fantastic crime-oriented dramas, but some of the hokey, far-from-realistic plot twists and playing out of events hold it back from being among the 2-3 best shows ever of its genre. Not to mention that it's emotionally exhausting to watch (not happy times!). Overall, it is by all accounts though, a fairly accurate portrayal of prison life, except that they pack all the action into each episode rather than fully focusing on all the boring down-time that inundates REAL prison life. A former roommate and current friend of mine who works in corrections used to watch it when it aired back in the late 90s/early 2000s, and I often found him shaking his head in knowing disgust at many of the unpleasant but all too real atrocities the show portrays.

What keeps you coming back for more despite some of the suspension-of-disbelief type shit going on? The characters/casting is unreal. Just great. And the writing/dialogue is pretty damn good. I can overlook some of the more dis-believable aspects of the show because of this. Just finished Season 4 on HBO's nightly reruns, only two seasons and 16 episodes left. Grade A stuff. But if as many people die in real prison every day as they do in a typical epsiode of Oz, we definitely wouldn't have the prison overcrowding problem that we do.

MUSIC

Finally, a quick nod to a great experience that was Jazzfest 2011 in New Orleans a couple weeks ago. The wife and I jetted down and stayed with a friend and his family, and hit up Jazzfest on Saturday 5/7 to eat some amazing local cuisine and check out some banging sounds. The highlights? Trombone Shorty absolutely murdered the Gentilly Stage. I felt bad for The Strokes having to follow that shit up as the headliner, but the Garage Rock Kings from NYC represented well in their own way. At the end of the day, Trombone is a local NOLA musical legend, but the show he put on that day would slay anywhere on the globe. Truly amazing.

I've gotta thank my buddy The Danimal for putting us up and showing us a great time down there. Living in the Big Easy is unlike living anywhere else. And sadly, Strawberry Abita beer is going out of season, but I was lucky enough to enjoy it down there.

Viva la Jazzfest.

Playoffs?! Did you say Playoffs?

2011-04-25T18:16:00.000-04:00

Ah yes, as the great Jim Mora Sr. once incredulously intoned to a reporter during a press conference many moons ago.

The postseason to what many are calling one of the more entertaining and notable NBA regular seasons in quite some time has been underway for about a week or so, and holy crow have we got some delicious storylines.

We’ve got the villainous Miami Heat looking like (unfortunately) one of two solid favorites in the Eastern Conference. We’ve still got LeBron getting booed every time he touches the ball in enemy territory. We’ve got the Boston Celtics having swept the beloved underdog New York Knicks out of their first postseason appearance in seven years (sorry New York. It’s an improvement over recent seasons’ results, but there’s still a lot of work to do). We’ve got a possible first-round bouncing of Orlando in the works (Hawks lead that series 3-1!). We’ve got a strong possibility that either the L.A. Lakers or San Antonio Spurs (God willing – how about both?!) might be shown the door to an early summer vacation before Round 2 tips off.

And there’s even a decent chance that Dirk Nowitzki and his ugly mug will be booted in Round 1 since Dallas is tied with Portland 2-2 as the series shifts back to The Lone Star State for Game 5. I’m definitely rooting for the Blazers in that series simply because I can’t take the HD closeups of Nowitzki anymore. If you have children, and you want to frighten the hell out of them, forget about scary movies or threatening to take away their PS3’s or Xbox’s. Simply strap them down for a couple hours whenever Dallas’ next game is on the tube, and they’ll be horrified for days to come after staring at Dirk for about 160 minutes.

And without further ado, check the rhyme technique.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Chicago Bulls lead (8) Indiana Pacers 3-1

Derek Rose is the all-but unanimous pick for the 2010-11 MVP in an era of unprecedentedly diverse talent for the league. He’s the youngest and most dangerous floor general out there, and his team actually has a shot to go to the finals this year. It’s likely going to come down to an epic Eastern Conference Finals series between Chicago and Miami, but it would be unwise to count out the defending Eastern Conference champion Boston Celtics, whose first-round sweep of the Knicks wasn’t so much a testament to the Cs’ play as it was a showcase for N.Y.’s postseason shortcomings. Either way, believe it or not Indiana has challenged Chicago in a way that few thought they would be capable through these first four games. They’ve all been close, and the Pacers could have won a couple that the Bulls pulled out in the end. Defensively, Indiana is deceptively effective. They’ve got youth and they contain Chicago’s offensive weapons reasonably well in the half-court game, but it’s damn hard to bottle up Mr. Rose permanently. Nice effort by the Pacers thus far, but it’s quite likely that Chicago will take Game 5 at home Tuesday night. Keep an eye on D-Rose though, as he came up a bit gimpy in Game 4 and wore a protective boot to practice during one of Chicago’s recent off-days. By all accounts he’ll be ready to go in Game 5.

(2) Miami Heat lead (7) Philadelphia 76ers 3-1

As a Philadelphia fan, of course I would love to have seen a better showing from the Sixers, an early-season playoff longshot that began 3-13 before later righting the ship under the inimitable Doug Collins, a man whose coaching carousel activity over the years would make a circus performer dizzy. But you know what? Winning Game 4 at home and prolonging the agony, er um, extending the series (that’s it!) is a positive for which this young team can … you know what, forget it. They’re getting smoked in Game 5 at Miami. And it’s not a reverse jinx, I truly believe it, I tell you. Look, Philly doesn’t have the schemes, the athletes or the playoff experience to oust this Heat team, but if Miami goes cold in the shooting department, anything is possible. But I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by predicting that the Heat will take Game 5 in South Beach and most likely end up playing Boston in Round 2. And that series will be a fight to the finish. If it goes any less than 6 games I’ll be shocked. Philly has some nice building blocks for the future. Evan Turner is a great young player, and Spencer Hawes has actually held his own at times in the low post against the likes of Joel Anthony, Chris Bosh and LBJ (not the toughest task, I realize). Lou Williams, Jrue Holliday and Elton Brand have all provided sparks at times. But we all know how this one is going to turn out.

(3) Boston Celtics def. (6) New York Knicks 4-0

This is not last year’s Boston team. The departure of Kendrick Perkins has completely changed the identity of Doc Rivers’ crew. And don’t be deceived by the Knicks sweep. Sure it’s a positive outcome, but the Knicks were simply not prepared to contend in these playoffs. Chauncey Billups got hurt, Amar’e Stoudamire wasn’t 100 percent healthy for the whole series, and the Knicks had few (or no) other adequate options for scoring the ball consistently and repeatedly outside of Carmelo Anthony. And let’s not even get started on the defensive end. Lots of work to do there. Somebody pointed out earlier this year how interesting a choice it was for Mike D’Antoni to be coaching New York. After all, he’s a run-and-gun, offensive-minded guy coaching a franchise whose hallmark traits are toughness, defense and a slower-paced, half-court brand of basketball. All of these are contributing factors in the Knicks’ early playoff exit. But they made it for the first time in seven years. There is once again optimism about basketball in New York, and there should be because it’s a basketball town. I hope they can continue to improve and generate excitement, because the league is much better off when the Knicks are relevant. Now as for Boston, they still have a great nucleus in place. But they’re not as ferocious in the low post as they once were. Perk is gone, Shaq is still hurt (and washed up), which means that Big Baby, Kevin Garnett and Jermaine O’Neal are your superstar big men on your Title Run. Good luck Boston fans, because I think you’ll need it. The Heat matchup in Round 2 will be very intriguing because Miami has its own low-post deficiencies as well, so we could see a neutralizing effect there. Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce will need to be successful for the C’s to keep winning, because eventually their weaknesses under the basket are going to be exposed. Most of all, Boston needs to regain their swagger and overall intimidating presence to stay alive. Half the reason they made it all the way to Game 7 in the Finals last year as a No. 4 seed is because they believed they could do it and they just straight muscled their way there.

(5) Atlanta Hawks lead (4) Orlando Magic 3-1

This is by far the most surprising result so far in the Eastern Conference Playoffs. Not even because of the seeding, but because of how deep Orlando’s playoff runs have been the past three seasons. Also because Orlando blasted the Hawks with a first-round sweep last year, and all of those games were heavily in the Magic’s favor. But as with the Boston-New York series, Atlanta’s success is just as much a function of Orlando’s shortcomings as it is due to the Hawks’ level of play. The Magic are shooting about 40 percent from the floor through the first four games. And nobody besides Dwight Howard is bringing the offensive firepower. If other Magic players don’t step up, they’re going home early this year. The Hawks, however, can improve in a few areas as well. They have a tendency to lose focus and not put games away when they’ve got a commanding lead. Oh and they also shot 12-for-20 from the foul line in their Game 4 win. True, Joe Johnson nailed four key free throws in the closing minutes for the victory, but a better performance at the charity stripe throughout the game may have guaranteed that it wouldn’t be so close at the end. Look for the Hawks to move on and likely match up with Chicago in Round 2.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

(8) Memphis Grizzlies lead (1) San Antonio Spurs 2-1

That’s right – no misprint. Oh and of course the next game is in Memphis. Boy will that be a pivotal Game 4. If the Grizz can somehow take a 3-1 series lead with Game 5 heading back to San Antonio, who knows what the H might happen. I know I’m probably sounding a little overzealous at the thought of an early departure for Tim Duncan and company, but I, like many, am basically tired of them, so please let me engage in my wishful thinking. But really, watching the Spurs play is sometimes like watching paint dry. The end result is what you want, but observing the journey is painful. Memphis, on the other hand, is young, fast and a tad more exciting. And they obviously have the confidence of knowing that they belong on the same court with the Spurs. Beale Street in Memphis will be rocking for Game 4. If San Antonio evens the series, they regain home court advantage. I don’t imagine they would lose the series if they can square it up with a Game 4 victory in Memphis. But if the Grizzlies can somehow go up 3-1, then they’re at least guaranteed a chance to close it out at home in Game 6 (assuming a Game 5 San Antonio home win), and at that point anything is possible. Zach Randolph has to continue to be a force in the paint, and outside shooters like Sam Young and O.J. Mayo need to keep doing their thing as well. But let’s not also forget that the Spurs’ version of the Big 3 – Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Duncan – along with the best coach that nobody talks about (Greg Popovich) have done this a million times, and are probably hiding all kinds of tricks up their collective sleeve that they’ll only break out during desperate times. Can’t wait to see how this series plays out.

(2) Los Angeles Lakers and (7) New Orleans Hornets tied at 2-2

Chris Paul put on a one-man clinic in Game 4 in New Orleans last night, notching a triple-double and turning in one of the best playoff performances his franchise has ever seen. The value that exists in a player as good as Paul is immeasurable, because eventually defenders on the opposing team just collapse on the superstar and leave open other guys just waiting for their own opportunity. If Paul isn’t the league’s best all-around point guard (even better than Rose), then I haven’t written an overly long blog entry that’s making you currently wish you had the last 10-15 minutes of your life back (you mean you made it this far and you’re still reading?! You like me! You really, really like me!). And by the way, I’ll do you one better. As strong as the Hornets have looked with ‘Who the hell are these guys’ types of players like Jarrett Jack, Carl Landry, Marco Belinelli and Emeka Okafor playing way over their heads in the absence of injured big man David West, I’m still not picking against the Lakers. Not only do I think they’re going to win this series, but I unfortunately think they still probably have the best chance in the Western Conference to make the Finals. Don’t be fooled by their apparent vulnerability. They’re not going away any time soon. And Kobe’s ankle isn’t really hurt that badly, despite how grim it looked in the closing minutes of Game 4. He’ll be back with a vengeance for Game 5 in L.A. You see, for New Orleans to have a real shot at winning this series, Chris Paul is going to need to maintain his current level of play in every remaining game. As amazing as he is, I just don’t know if it’s realistic to expect that. I think L.A. wins Game 5 and closes it out either in 6 or 7, depending on how much pride the Hornets have left for Game 6.

(3) Dallas Mavericks and (6) Portland Trailblazers tied at 2-2

What can I say about Dirk Nowitzki that hasn’t already been said about trolls that live under bridges? Okay, sorry, I had to get that out of the way first. Despite the scowl that’s permanently affixed to Dirk’s face, his Dallas Mavericks have fooled us all into thinking that things will be different for Dallas this year. No early-round playoff exit in 2011, no sirree. These Mavs are deep off the bench, Jason Kidd is playing as if he were really about 10 years younger, and Dallas has the ability to turn up the defensive pressure when it matters most. So why did they drop Games 3 and 4 then after bolting out to an impressive 2-0 series lead against a highly talented young Portland team? Because the Rose Garden has been a House of Horrors for Dallas, that’s why. Do the research and see how they’ve performed there in recent years, playoffs or not. It hasn’t been pretty. The Mavs just may have to win this one in 7 games. Of all the first-round series, this is probably the toughest to call. I feel that it could literally go either way. Dallas is known for their premature playoff collapses, but Portland is inexperienced in big moments despite their collection of highly-skilled players. Something tells me Dallas won’t lose at home and might end up pulling this one out in 7 games, leaving them vulnerable against a second-round opponent that’s likely to be better-rested. But who knows – maybe it’s just about matchups and nobody will give Dallas the same fight that Portland has the rest of the way. The heart says Portland, but the head says Dallas. I like the Mavs in 7.

(4) Oklahoma City leads (5) Denver 3-0

This is a fascinating series. Coming into the playoffs, many thought it had the potential to be the best first-round matchup in the west, if not both conferences. But instead, it’s the most lopsided in the West. Just confirms that you never can tell. Great storylines going on here. Denver has played way better since dumping Carmelo for New York and inheriting about 30 percent of the Knicks’ 2010-11 roster (including sharpshooter Danilo Gallinari). They’ve got a nice blend of youth and experience, and they’re an intimidating presence with their toughness, physicality and 50 kajillion body/facial tattoos. Oklahoma City though, outside of the Bulls, is definitely the most intriguing young team in the NBA. If anybody can dump the old guard from out West (Spurs/Lakers) and advance to the finals this year, it’s the OKC Thunder. They’ve got scoring for days (Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, James Harden, and now, Kendrick Perkins), and if you’ve watched them this year you know they are no slouch on defense (start remembering names like Serge Ibaka and Thabo Sefalosha – difficult though they may be to spell and pronounce). Denver has fought the good fight, but when the Thunder is rolling they’re tough to stop. The Nuggets can prevent the sweep with a victory at home tonight in Game 4, but it would simply be delaying the inevitable. The Thunder are moving on. Oh and they’re the only team to have won 2 games against the Lakers last year throughout the Western Conference Playoffs, so they know how to attack Kobe and company. Would absolutely love to see a Lakers-Thunder rematch this year.

'Putting your Patience to the Test'

2011-03-31T19:14:00.000-04:00

And so the leadoff track "Machu Picchu" from the fourth album of New York throwback garage-rockers The Strokes opens with this query about the listener's ability to tolerate anything that can be classified as 'annoying.'

Personally, I find it annoying that I had to wait five-plus years for a new album from probably my favorite band on the planet right now.

I find it even more annoying that the reaction to Strokes Album No. 4, 'Angles,' has been so mixed. Overall, probably lukewarm rather than 'scorching hot.' Sure, there are a lot of folks praising the record, happier than Charlie Sheen at a Brazilian brothel that there's new material from Julian Casablancas and crew for the first time since 2006. I guess I was approaching the new record with a bit more guarded optimism - until I heard the first single "Under the Cover of Darkness."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwxcQvB_vcQ

Alright, now that's what I'm talking about! The Strokes are back! A bouncy, head-bopping pop rocker replete with those signature high-pitched Strokes guitar riffs, slamming rhythm section and powerful, spot-on Julian vocals. Classic Strokes, right up there with songs like "Last Night" and "Reptilia" in the band's garage/arena rock hall of fame.

Then I heard the rest of the record. And like many, I was taken aback for a moment. Didn't quite know what to think. Not a lot of tracks stood out.

And then, I embarked on listen number two from start to finish. Then number three. After the fifth complete listen, it felt like I had been listening to it for months - and I mean that in a good way. It also doesn't hurt when it's a fast, clean record - about 35-40 minutes total. This hallmark brevity defined the Strokes' style on their first two records, the eponymous smash debut "Is This it?" (2001), and the similarly themed and styled follow-up "Room on Fire" (2003). Of course, 2006's "First Impressions of Earth" saw the band embark into ambitious new territory, and I'll be the first to admit that to date that's their toughest record to get through. But there are still some great songs to be found there.

Most hardcore 'Strokers' (I didn't come up with this name for them, I swear) know the rest ... the next five years saw all but one of the band members record their own solo/side project releases separately, allowing them to flex their creative chops since not having had the opportunity to do so in the Casablancas-heavy songwriting world that is The Strokes.

Cue the more balanced group songwriting and creatively contributory effort that led to 'Angles.' Although many reviewers are calling it 'jumbled,' 'disconnected,' 'taking stabs at Radiohead on some tracks,' and so forth, not only do I personally like it enough to not skip through any songs, but I find it encouraging and unsurprising that the group continues to explore new musical territory.

Okay - let's consider this. If The Strokes just did a 2011 redux of "Is This It?" there would be a lot of fans that would love it, but there would be a whole other segment of fans and critics decrying the group for 'playing it safe' and 'failing to mature musically and stylistically.' If you're one of the five band members, it's hard not to feel like "I Can't Win" (to borrow the name of the 3-minute catchy firestorm that closes the "Room on Fire" album).

Maybe I'm just drowning in the Strokes Kool-Aid, but I usually end up liking everything this band does. Sure, they could have trimmed away some of the fat on "First Impressions," but I'm probably one of the only people who actually still gets amped up at moments like when the little-known deep album cut "15 Minutes" transitions from its methodical, waltz-like first half into the uptempo, razor-sharp speed-rock riffing second half. And this is a song the band has probably only ever performed like three times live.

So anyway, the new album is too concise for me to nitpick or say that I'm bored by it. Sure, some tracks are stronger than others, like on any album. But none of the songs provoke an inner thought monologue along the lines of "Jeez, why did they put this song on the album. Next!"

And their live performances leading up to tomorrow's sold-out Madison Square Garden show have been typically enthralling. On the first Saturday in March, they bounced through "Under the Cover of Darkness" and then showed a more subdued but still musically inspiring side with "Life is Simple in the Moonlight" on Saturday Night Live. A couple weeks later on Letterman, they absolutely killed it with "Taken for a Fool," an absolutely infectious track that sounds amazing live. Finally, on Jimmy Fallon last night, they plowed through the unusual, post-modern sounding "You're So Right," a polarizing song choice in that it's basically either loved or hated. Me? Yeah, you guessed it. Loved it.

Any live Strokes show from 5 to 10 years ago consisted of these guys looking bored with life in general on stage, always a stark contrast to the high-energy, sonically pleasing brand of loud, memorable rock they pounded out flawlessly. Here in 2011, they are still doing that, but slowly incorporating new elements into their stage show. They're able to replicate sounds on stage that don't seem possible without some sort of sample machine or other weird instrumentation. Sometimes live, they actually sound better than they do on record, a total rarity but amazing nonetheless.

There are no limits for The Strokes when they're fully focused. The problem seems to be for them to find that focus with any sort of consistent regularity. They had it in the early part of the aughts decade, but the hiatus after the "Room on Fire" tour seemed to be the beginning of tougher times.

Word on the street is that Julian literally mailed in his vocal tracks for the recording process of "Angles" - as in sent audio files of his vocals over email - instead of jamming in the same recording studio as the rest of the band. According to interviews, this was by design. Casablancas felt he needed to remove himself from the rest of the group so that their own creative identity could fluorish. Sounds good in theory, but the end result didn't make the rest of the band happy. Guitarist Nick Valensi was quoted as saying that he "wouldn't do another album like this, without the singer there."

There's also the somewhat well-documented drug problems of guitarist Albert Hammond Jr., supposedly behind him now, and his subsequent recovery difficulties while trying to record the album.

Add on top of that the resentment that undoubtedly festered and lingered from the group being "Julian's band with the other 4 dudes riding shotgun and just slinging their instruments on stage," and add in a healthy dose of "We're supposed to be back together recording as a group for the first time in 5 years but our singer can't stand to be in the same room with us and one of our guitarists almost OD'd" - and it's a miracle they were even able to crap out an album that's anything beyond average.

Well the good news is that the limited number of performances the band delivered last year was met with fever-pitch intensity from the crowds, and by all accounts, the Strokes have never sounded better live. So there is that. There was also Valensi or bassist Nikolai Fraiture (can't remember which) recently indicating that the band was going to be hitting the studio again possibly as early as sometime in April to begin working on new material. They've got limited tour dates this year, so road-work shouldn't be too much of a hindrance in making more new music.

Hopefully they get it figured out and continue to save rock music. There are far too few bands like them these days.

A quick breadown of the tracks on Angles (overall, I give it about an 82 percent out of 100):

1) Machu Picchu - a mid-tempo, slinky number with gratifying chord changes and a classically catchy, guitar-driven, hum-along chorus. Solid opener.

2) Under the Cover of Darkness - As previously stated, the album's crown jewel. Catchy as all get-out, and a definitive modern indie-rock anthem. Strokes are at their best with songs like this.

3) Two Kinds of Happiness - Straight out of 1982 with the somewhat muted production, synth soundscapes, and Julian's best Ric Ocasek impression. But the chorus is a harrowing cacophony of sound with lightning-fast lead-guitar stabs (that's gotta be Albert, right?)

4) You're So Right - Talk about taking risks. This is not the sound you expect out of the Strokes. Some have called it the weakest song on the album. It strays into new territory for sure with its spare, uncompromising sound. Experimental, unique, but not radio-friendly or a perfect 'first introduction' to The Strokes.

5) Taken for a Fool - I love it more every time I hear it. A fast-moving gem that sticks in your head for days. Guitars are crisp and clear with descending chord changes, and a slamming rhythm track keeps it moving along. The chorus soars and sings, and its lyrics are priceless ("And I don't need anyone with me right now / Monday-Tuesday is my weekend").

6) Games - They went a little nuts with the synth on this one. I actually like the verse better than the chorus, with the spare-sounding bass and Julian's singing. One of the less-memorable tracks.

7) Call me Back - A tense yet soft ballad that turns optimistic and satisfying in the chorus. No percussion here, just clean-tone guitar and Julian's vocals, with a touch of keyboard effects to enhance certain moments. Really like this one.

8) Gratisfaction - Easily the most rollicking, jolly uptempo, sing-along banger on the album after "Under the Cover." This will be a crowd favorite at live shows without a doubt. If the whole album sounded like this song and "Under the Cover," everyone would right now be hailing The Strokes as rock's saviors of 2011.

9) Metabolism - Lumbering mid-tempo track, kind of depressing. Sounds like a leftover from the "First Impressions" recording sessions. Some nice chord/vocal dynamic changes in the middle section though.

10) Life is Simple in the Moonlight - I'm beginning to really appreciate the Strokes more when they do songs like this. Reflective, pensive, not a rocker but not quite a ballad either. Just a great song, and the chorus climaxes beautifully with "Don't Try to Stop us! Get out of our Way!"

Never Fear, Green Beer is Here

2011-03-17T18:04:00.001-04:00

Happy Drunken Irish Holiday, bitches.

Let the good times ROLL!

Whose idea was it that this holiday should turn the streets of midtown Manhattan into an idiot parade? So just to clarify, we have the REAL parade that happens on Fifth Avenue, with the bagpipes and people actually wanting to celebrate Irish heritage to a certain degree. Then we have said Idiot Parade, which basically occurs on the side streets and much of the rest of regional Manhattan, replete with unoriginal, moronic 18-to-23 year olds wearing every item of clothing in the ugliest shade of deep green ever created.

It's evident that 90 percent of these people don't live in the city, given their obvious cluelessness as it applies to actions in which New York residents simply do not engage - you know, such as wandering around aimlessly like idiots; asking if the grab-and-go deli/sandwich place has a restroom (because they've been drinking since 9 a.m. and need to relieve themselves); screaming in the middle of the street for no apparent reason, other than the fact that it happens to be the one calendar day each year when people can become fall-down drunk and get a free pass on it; Oh wait, did I mention wandering around aimlessly like idiots? Because there is a LOT of that.

Okay, sure, I know what I sound like. Mr. Grumpy Pants over here, shaking his cane at the young uns' because my lifestyle doesn't allow me to, on a Thursday afternoon no less, dress up like I was just vomited out of the Jolly Green Giant with an upturned 40 in my hand. But I'm pretty sure these people would annoy the crap out of me regardless of my age/employment status, and I consider that a good thing.

So as a general rule, unless you ARE one of these slobbering, loud, green idiots, do NOT come to New York City on St. Patrick's Day, because you will want to strangle anything in sight by the end of the day. Or well in advance of said time.

Now with that out of the way, randomness ensues. Enjoy!

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The 2010-11 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament has begun, and I can't remember a season when I've paid as little attention to college hoops as I have this year. I'm just way too into the NBA, which actually has a ton of talent right now, stars with staying power and legitimate identity, and a schedule that allows you to find a thoroughly entertaining game on TV almost any night of the week. The college game is still fun to watch on occasion, but there are very few 'names' this season (experts are predicting one of the weaker NBA draft classes we've seen in a while for June 2011). I didn't even fill out a bracket. It just gets more difficult every year, particularly in seasons like this one where it's wide open, due to lack of said star power.

Also, to turn into Mr. T momentarily (sans mohawk and ebony skin and gold chains and deep voice, of course) I pity the fool who had either Louisville, Penn State or Clemson advancing to the Sweet 16 or beyond in their bracket. This list will grow, of course, as the next two days unfold.

Oh did I mention how much more fun it is to watch the NCAA Tournament when you're not constantly rooting or bracket-checking and can just enjoy the games? Holy World of Difference, Batman.

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The NFL and the Players Union are now officially locked out, which is about what we all expected. Can't figure out how to divide up that annual $9 billion pie. Bit of a shame. So what's happened now? The Players Union has decertified and filed a federal lawsuit against the league alleging antitrust violations, among other allegations. And the players are urging a boycott of the NFL Draft in late April, meaning that teams would select fresh-out-of-college players who won't be there to come out on stage and shake the hands of the owners who just picked them. Oy. Awwwk-ward!

It's all ugly, and I'm sure we all hope it can get resolved sooner rather than later, but things don't generally move at lightning speed in U.S. Federal District Court. Matters will need to be hashed out there before the two sides can resume negotiations and work out the multitude of unresolved issues that still exist between the league and the players.

Get ready to be a college football fan if you aren't one, because I'll be highly surprised if the 2011 NFL Season kicks off when it's currently slated to do so.

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Okay, I know this is kind of old news, but Charlie Effing Sheen. My God. What a national treasure. A quote machine if there ever was one. Is this guy for real? Has anybody figured out yet whether it's a put-on? He's either a genius that hasn't received the proper amount of credit for duping everyone, or we're all just blessed by the gift of his unbridled insanity as it plays out on TV cameras and all over the Inter Webs.

Either way, at the end of the day he's quite goddamn brilliant, because people have never paid as much attention to him as they are now. If you're a celebrity, isn't that all you really want anyway? Who ISN'T going to be all over his next move? Nobody.

When you add in the fact that he's uber-rich and lives with a porn star and a 'dancer' - both of whom are clearly copasthetic with this arrangement - one can certainly make an argument that there are people out there who have it worse right now than Mr. Tiger's Blood.

I still think he's a lunatic, and I'd be surprised if he's totally clean (his last drug test was negative, but word on the street about cocaine is that it's out of your system in 2-3 days ... or, um, so I've heard). But we're all chomping at the bit to see what comes next out of this guy, right? Unless, you know, you're only primarily interested in stuff that's actually important.

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Speaking of unimportant - yet hilarious - stuff, please, and I implore you, track down a video clip of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino 'performing' at Comedy Central's Roast of Donald Trump, which aired this past Tuesday night. Wow, was he atrocious. Within hours of the broadcast, the internet was ablaze with disparaging reviews (rightfully so) and videographic proof of how unfunny is this greasy, tan knucklehead. To appropriately review the event, I figured I should roast The Situation myself. Here goes! (If you're easily offended, please skip!)

* Suicide bombers watched The Situation at the Trump Roast and said "Damn, I can never hope to be as successful as that guy!" Okay, alright, calm down.

* Hey, Situation, look at this guy. I would say he needs to get his dignity back after that performance, but you can't retrieve what was never there in the first place.

* Situation, is that you or did the Friar's Club invite a Jack-o'-Lantern to the Roast of Donald Trump? Goddamn, when you reach for the spray-tan bottle it screams "Enough guy! I'm not meant for this much use on one person! Take it easy!"

* Yo Situation, is it true that BP took the fall for what was really you doing a headstand in the Gulf of Mexico? Jesus Christ, look at that greasy mop! You could shine up an entire Brooks Brothers' footwear department with one-eighth of what's in your hair right now.

* Situation, I would call you dumb, but then the word 'dumb' would immediately file a slander/defamation lawsuit against me. And probably win.

Alright, I've got a ton of 'em, but you get the idea. Watch the vid clip. You will be cringing in both horror and delight, I promise.

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The original entertainment landscape on TV is a little thin right now, probably at least until Mad Men and Breaking Bad return later this summer, but there's still some decent stuff to check out.

Notably, The Office is about to finish its run with anchor character Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell. I just can't imagine the show without him, even though I want to back-hand him about 50 percent of the time because of the moronic things he says and does. Of course, that's a large part of the charm of his character. It's a great ensemble cast, certainly the show is no one-trick pony. But Carell is the glue that holds it all together. Who becomes the glue when he's gone? Jim? Nah, Jim doesn't feel like a 'glue' guy. A little too smarmy and you get the sense he puts himself above everyone else around him (most of whom are severely flawed in some way). Dwight? No, his character is far too unlikeable, and it wouldn't be believable to suddenly turn him into a bumbling fool with a heart of gold (see 'Carell').

So do they bring someone else in? I've heard all kinds of rumors. John Hodgman (the 'PC' commercial guy; also a Daily Show correspondent). Rhys Darby, a.k.a Murray on Flight of the Conchords. I love him to death, but I don't see him being the right fit. Danny McBride? That's it. Kenny Powers should run 'The Office' as the new Michael Scott. Yes, I know, that wouldn't work either, but Kenny Powers is probably my favorite TV personality right now, fictional or otherwise. Everything he says and does is pure gold.

In related news, Eastbound and Down Season 3 will air later this year on HBO, and it will be the show's final season. I really hope Powers makes it to the majors by the time the final credits roll.

Meanwhile, Parks & Recreation wins the award for 'most improved comedy' since last year at this time. Funny, original, great cast, wonderful chemistry, and it's shaken its reputation as an inferior 'Office' knock-off.

30 Rock is still solid, but it feels like something big needs to happen with the characters. It almost seems like it's just the same zany antics/similarly inane storylines being traded around with different members of the cast. Hoping they shake it up somehow to end this season in the next couple months.

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Finally, as a teaser for a subject of future discussion in this space, I've heard the new Strokes album, Angles, and it is indeed brilliant. New York's Finest is about to drop a triumphant return to form, and I can't wait to see them kick some ass and take some names yet again at Madison Square Garden on April 1st. No hooks, no gimmicks, just great music. Viva la Strokes! The album drops March 22nd for those interested.

Who's Bringing Home the Little Statues?

2011-02-27T00:43:00.002-05:00

The twenty-OH 10 started off kind of weak for movie-films. Things dramatically improved from around April/May onward. Random thoughts, a.k.a. The "Joey T.'s", are below, followed by my impressions of what may transpire at the broadcast of the 83rd Academy Awards.

Also, even though it wasn't necessarily planned this way, I actually ended up having seen all 10 Best Picture nominees. And I can honestly say I've never been more confused about selecting a favorite. That's why they play the game! To use a sports analogy (come on, I'm incapable of not doing so) - will it be "Rock-Chalk-Jayhawk!" or will Butler make it to the NCAA Finals this time? Grab some popcorn (not the kind with the fake-ass liquid butter), sit back and enjoy.

RANDOM ENTERTAINMENT RELATED THOUGHT: The Kardashian family earned $65 million in 2009. I will now engage in vomit-prevention tactics.

BIGGEST SCREW JOB OF THE 83RD ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: Christopher Nolan, who directed Inception, was not nominated for Best Director. Either he did something to piss off a whole lot of academy voters, or he did something to piss off a whole lot of academy voters. I cannot fathom any other explanation.

MOST UPLIFTING MOVIE OF 2010: Black Swan! Just kidding, of course. It was Winter's Bone.

BEST BIG SCREEN D-BAG: Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine. Later in their relationship, not early on. Showing up at Michelle Williams' job drunk with his cheap sunglasses and scary animal sweatshirt really took the cake.

MOVIE THAT MOST EFFECTIVELY REINFORCES NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT WOMEN BEING CRAZY AND CATTY: Why none other than Black Swan, of course!

SECOND BIGGEST SCREW JOB OF THE 83RD ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: The fact that the documentary "Waiting for Superman" didn't get nominated for Best Documentary. It's an informative yet emotional look at what's wrong with the primary and secondary school systems in our country. You might be a little depressed after watching it, but you certainly won't be left wondering why the U.S. has fallen behind so many other developed nations in the world when it comes to educating our children.

FOREIGN FILM THAT MOST UNDESERVEDLY RECEIVED TONS OF CRITICAL ACCLAIM: Animal Kingdom, from Australia. This movie is just straight up frustrating. It's simply got to own the record for movie with the most staggeringly high number of unlikeable, stupid characters.

HOLLYWOOD'S BIGGEST NUT-JOB: I mean, right now it's got to be a toss-up between Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. Gibson has the anti-semitism and spousal abuse down pat, but Sheen is like the Nikki Sixx or Ozzy Osbourne of network television. No matter how many hookers, alcohol and blow you put in the room with him, he's always going to come out of it alive.

TEEN CELEBRITY I'M MOST SICK OF HEARING ABOUT: Justin. Effing. Bieber. Can someone PLEASE make this kid go away? I'll donate a freaking vital organ, I promise.

SONG I'M MOST ASHAMED TO ADMIT I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD: That Miley Cyrus song about "Partying in the U.S.A." I mean, I'm not going to buy it on i-tunes or anything, but if I hear it on the radio or on TV, and I don't have a "chaser" song to instantly get it out of my head, it's stuck in there like month-old gum on the bottom of your desk in 10th Grade Spanish class. I mean, she shouts out Jay-Z in the song at least. Bieber would never do that!

NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE HYPE AWARD: The TV show Friday Night Lights. Granted, I only saw a few episodes in the first season and then dropped it like a hot potato. And believe me, if there's a target audience for anything high school football-related, it's me (ask just about anyone who knows me). But I could never get past the sort of '90210' side of the show, the silly teen dramatics. If you gave me more football and less of that, or at least didn't bathe said dramatics with a nice, glossy sheen, then I may have been a huge fan.

Alright, now on to the show. I'm going to start with a quick blurb about each of the best pic nominees and wrap it all up with brief thoughts on the other major awards. Remember, just because I got it right doesn't mean the Academy will. This right here is the real shizz, bro.

BEST PIC NOMINEES

Black Swan: About as heavy-handed and frightening as a 220-pound, ruler-wielding nun is to a nervous 3rd grader in Catholic School. Director Darren Aronofsky certainly has a style that is all its own, and he does a magnificent job of capturing tension and mood in his films. He's showing us the world through the paranoid, always-spinning mind of the protagonist, a perfectionist ballet dancer (Natalie Portman) who has beaten out several worthy candidates to win the role of the Swan Queen in a re-working of the Tchaikovsky classic "Swan Lake." It's an intriguing character study, and an exercise in separating fantasy from reality. It's also rife with symbolism, yet open to interpretation. It's artful and intense, which you get a feeling Academy voters can appreciate. But it's also somewhat empty, leaving you to wonder what it all meant by the time the end credits are rolling. Fascinating story, but it doesn't feel like a Best Picture winner.

The Fighter: A pulls-no-punches (get it?!) re-telling of the tale of American boxer Mickey Ward, a blue collar fellow from Lowell, Massachusetts, who rose to unlikely prominence in the mid-to-late 1990s through a lot of training, hard work and family drama. As sports flicks go, this is one of the best that's been made in a long time. Christian Bale was unbelievable as the brother of Ward, played by Mark Wahlberg, and Melissa Leo was fantastic as the tough-love matriarch of the family. It's well-acted and entertaining, but plays out a bit more like an independent film (not that there's anything wrong with that). The drawback though is the fact that it didn't resonate as powerfully in the mainstream as many of the other best pic candidates. It's an underdog to win - much like Ward often was as a boxer in real life - but it's not an impossibility.

Inception: This has to be one of the most original, innovative and well-executed suspense/action thrillers to come along in quite some time. Director Christopher Nolan's tour de force about dream control and its impact on reality was a juggernaut during last summer's motion picture season, but it seems to have lost momentum in recent months now that pictures like "True Grit," "The King's Speech" and "The Social Network" are getting the most lip service. It's a shame, because I feel like this movie should be on that "Short List of 2 or 3 most likely to win," but by most accounts, it simply isn't. Hollywood is so much about crappy sequels, remakes and predictable action thrillers these days that you would think a movie like "Inception" would be received as a breath of fresh air that's hard to snuff out. Unfortunately, it seems like most of us have forgotten about it already just because of its premature timing.

The Kids Are All Right: This was a very progressive, seemingly realistic portrayal of a true "modern family." Annette Bening and Julianne Moore play lesbian mothers raising two teenagers (the daughter is soon off for college) in upper-middle class California, and the kids decide to look up their biological father to satisfy their long-held curiosity. What transpires feels very authentic given the circumstances and issues of the characters involved. And we know that the Academy has shown love to films prominently featuring characters with alternative sexual preferences in the past (Sean Penn won Best Actor for his portrayal of gay rights activist Harvey Milk two years ago). But it seems like this movie has three primary elements working against it: 1) The timeliness factor (see "Inception" above); 2) Not enough eyeballs on it, didn't get into enough theaters; 3) It lacks that extra 'bite' or 'punch' to push it past some of the more, um, forceful best pic nominees. Sometimes it's not enough to have a unique story, strong acting and a ton of realism.

The King's Speech: And here we are, folks. We've arrived at the Prohibitive Favorite to win best picture. A classic Oscar-bait film in every sense of the term. It's a period piece, it's got distinguished British actors (Geoffrey Rush, Colin Firth), and best of all, it's based on the true story of King George VI, a leader who struggled to overcome a vicious stammering problem as King of the United Kingdom from 1936 until his death. Firth is fabulous, and Rush is equally convincing as his speech coach, but then we expect nothing less from these two masters at their craft. I can't honestly say I was riveted from beginning to end, but it was a fine film, and many others cut from the same mold have cleaned up at the Academy Awards in years past. But who knows? There are many worthy candidates this year, and quite frankly, this movie winning the big prize is about as predictable as road-side bombs in the Middle East, or sunshine in Southern California. Sometimes voters are discouraged from picking the "easy" or "safe" choice simply to go against the grain. But it's true that this movie fits the classic "best picture" prototype, so don't be amazed if it wins.

127 Hours: This flick is not for the faint of heart. There's a chance that you already know that it's based on the true story of a guy named Aron Ralston, a thrill-seeker who in April of 2003 went alone on a rock climbing/diving excursion in Utah, without telling anyone of his plans, before becoming trapped against a wall when an enormous boulder pins his right arm to the earth. James Franco rocks this role, and makes you forget how difficult it must be to keep the audience engaged when most of the movie is just him and the camera. Director Danny Boyle ("Trainspotting," "Slumdog Millionaire") does a great job here, building the tension wonderfully but never losing the viewer's interest. Again, this film didn't quite get enough attention, and it's a bit too uncompromising and one-dimensional to imagine it taking home the big prize. But it's also fascinating viewing.

The Social Network: And here we have the Facebook Movie. Conventional wisdom says that if anything is going to dethrone "The King's Speech" for Best Pic, it's this. Despite its two-plus hours of running time, it flies by and keeps you engaged from start to finish. Aaron Sorkin compiled an amazing screenplay, and David Fincher is solid, as usual, in a directorial capacity. Jesse Eisenberg is cold, clinical and downright convincing in his portrayal of Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, and never has a movie or TV show (or anything else for that matter) come along yet that so powerfully captures the influence that social media has had on all of our lives. The film tells us all sides of the 'lawsuit' story that unfolded after Facebook blew up the world (Zuckerberg was embroiled in two separate civil litigations when he was sued by business partners and/or colleagues who claim to have been cheated out of profits or creator credits as it applies to the empire that is Facebook.com). Simply put, this is a uniquely told, powerful account of an electronic communication tool that epitomizes modern-day interactions for people of all socio-economic classes in every nook and cranny of our country (and other countries), and the man (men?) behind it all. It's hard to imagine why it shouldn't win, dammit, or be on that short-list of prohibitive favorites.

Toy Story 3: If you were to ask my wife, this should win Best Pic. Okay, maybe not, but it was her favorite of the nominees. Actually, I have to admit I hadn't seen either of the first two "Toy Story" pics, but I thoroughly enjoyed this. Beautifully animated and voiced, heart-warming, made for kids, but entertaining for adults as well. What else can you ask for? Don't expect it to beat out all of these other sophisticated, layered, made-for-adults efforts for the Best Pic prize, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it win Best Animated Feature Film. I mean, "How to Train Your Dragon" was also decent, but "Toy Story 3" is better.

True Grit: Joel and Ethan Coen have struck again. The directing brothers have made this novel pop to life a second time, 41 years after the original big-screen adaptation featuring John Wayne in the role of rebel law-man Rooster Cogburn. The Coens have really nailed it this time. A classic hallmark of many Coen movies is an off-kilter quirkiness that strays just a bit too left-of-center to truly exhibit mainstream appeal (I personally love their style). However, there's no such odd leanings in this effort. The old-timey language, period appropriate atmospherics and snappy dialogue move the action along beautifully and make it feel like an instant-classic Western pic. Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon carry the film with veteran performances, but the real talk of the town is the gem of a major acting debut by 14-year-old Hailee Steinfeld, who I would love to see win Best Supporting Actress. This movie, along with "The Social Network," are the most likely challengers to "The King's Speech" likely claim to the Best Picture trophy. It had the momentum of a Christmas Day release and a lot of buzzworthy praise (Coen Brothers and Bridges at the top of their game, and a breath-of-fresh-air job by a young, rising star). Can't wait to see what rewards this film takes.

Winter's Bone: If you ask me, this was the Best Picture of 2010. But I'm smart enough to know it doesn't stand a Meth-head's chance in a detox facility at winning Best Picture. The subject matter is way too grim, and it probably played on about 7 and-a-half screens total throughout the country. I understand all that, and it makes perfect sense why it won't walk off with the biggest piece of hardware. But just the fact that it's nominated means that the right people are paying attention to the right works of art, at least on occasion. And even though this movie doesn't stand much of a chance at winning the ultimate prize, Jennifer Lawrence does stand a chance of winning Best Actress. This girl was phenomenal, and she's only a few years older than Steinfeld. She delivers a powerful, gut-wrenching performance as a 17-year-old member of a poverty-ridden family (mom is in a constantly catatonic state, dad cooks/sells meth, is on the lam from the law and has put up the family's raggedy house as bond collateral) set against the depressing backdrop of wintertime in the Ozark Mountains of southern Missouri. Lawrence's character, Ree Dolly, has to look after her younger brother and sister while also trying to hunt down her father before either the cops or his enemies do in order to try to save what little she and her family have left (including the roof over their head). It's powerful, affecting material, but many of us would rather not focus on the fact that stories like this are all too real. This movie and "True Grit" are tied for my personal Best Pic of 2010, with "The Social Network" clocking in at a close second.

Best Director is probably a three-way race between Tom Hooper (King's Speech), David Fincher (Social Network) and Joel & Ethan Coen (True Grit). The mechanics involved with a film like True Grit seem like it should give the Coens the edge here, but sometimes it's the subtleties involved with directing seemingly simpler fare such as the other two pics that is more difficult to pull off. If True Grit wins best pic, I'm thinking the Coens get best director, and same goes for a Hooper-King's Speech sweep.

Best Actor, the three way race is essentially Eisenberg (Social Network), Firth (King's Speech) and Franco (127 Hours). Franco was magnetic given the spare elements he had to work with, but Firth and Eisenberg were more transformative with their characters. I think Eisenberg's role was a bit more of a stretch, and he had to create more of an alternate persona than Firth. Although, Firth made the stutter look downright natural, and that can NOT have been easy. Tough call there.

Best Supporting Actor also had three highly worthy candidates - Geoffrey Rush (King's Speech), Christian Bale (The Fighter) and Jeremy Renner (The Town). Rush was typically brilliant, but he just acted like Geoffrey Rush for a couple hours. He didn't push above and beyond any unimaginable limitations. Renner was obscenely good as the short-fused, blue collar Southy criminal in the Charlestown bank robber flick "The Town," but Bale literally kind of became Dicky Eklund (Mickey Ward's older brother). So much so, in fact, that locals in Lowell, Mass., mistook Bale for the REAL Dicky Eklund. Now that's a goddamn good performance. I think you've got to give it to Bale here.

Best Actress is a real close race this year. Michelle Williams may have actually had the most all-around multi-dimensional, emotionally exhausting performance of the five nominees, but unfortunately, her role didn't seem to garner enough attention. The late release date (just weeks before the Academy Awards) didn't help either. It feels like a 3-way race between Annette Bening, Natalie Portman and Jennifer Lawrence. Again, Lawrence's lack of reconigition is going to hurt her. Portman appears to be the favorite, but Bening had more depth. Portman was great at being manic and grating, but Bening displayed just about every emotion imaginable in her role, and did them all exceedingly well. I actually hope she wins if we're talking about it coming down to her vs. Portman.

Best Supporting Actress has to be either Steinfeld (True Grit) or Melissa Leo (The Fighter). Both were phenomenal. To pick who was better is like splitting hairs. You can't do it. So for me, it's got to come down to something else. What's the next best criteria since you could spend all day lobbying effectively for either candidate in the "Better Performance" department? How about degree of difficulty? Steinfeld isn't even old enough to have a learner's permit for driving a car, and she flat out killed it as Maddie Ross. It feels difficult to take it away from Leo just because we happened to have a 14-year-old who was magnificent this year, but that's what feels like the right thing to do. Of course, I wouldn't put it past academy voters to pick Leo and rationalize it by saying "Steinfeld is young and brilliant, she'll have plenty of time to win a major award." But that would be a mistake, because it would be cheating her out of a performance that couldn't have possibly been any better coming from a 14-year-old. Here's hoping that Steinfeld wins.

Cornucopia

2011-02-21T18:30:00.001-05:00

Alright peoples. As we all go through post-football season withdrawal, please keep in mind that there's a ton of other exciting stuff happening.

Leave it to El Presidente to entertain the crap out of you, as per usual. The Academy Awards are next Sunday, and I'll definitely have some stuff to say about that later this week.

FOOTBALL

As we all know by now, the Green Bay Packers are Super Bowl XLV champions, the Dallas Cowboys stadium and facilities people did a horrible job, displacing a few hundred fans from their seats just hours before kickoff, and lawsuits/news about all of this has dominated the headlines, garnering almost as much attention as what actually happened in the game.

We all know the drill by now. About 400 fans who paid for $800 seats were admitted into the game, but were told not long before kickoff that their seats weren't up to safety standards. Stadium/league officials attempted to relocate these rightfully cheesed-off individuals (Packer puns aside) by shifting them to standing-room only areas of the stadium, or taking them down to field level where they couldn't see the live action through all of the bodies and commotion, and instead could only watch the game on TVs in their immediate area.

Now, of course, these people have a right to be pissed. However, it seems like the league did everything within reason in attempts to rectify this situation correctly. They offered the affected fans a cash value of three times the ticket's face value (in other words, $2,400), or a trip to next year's Super Bowl with seat accommodations, round trip airfare and hotel on the house. Then, the following day, they upped the ante even beyond that. The affected fans could choose to forgo both of those alternatives and instead opt for a trip to any future Super Bowl of their choosing, with the same aforementioned perks paid for by the league. At that point, what damages are you seeking through your lawsuit? Airfare and hotel are needed in association with your trip, and those will be covered by the league either through reimbursement or during a future trip. But anything you choose to spend beyond that is on you, kiddos. The league is trying to do what's right here. But what would our country be if it wasn't continuously rife with frivolous lawsuits, yes?

Anyhoos, this labor situation also seems quite grim right now. NFL owners and the NFL Players Association have to settle all of their disputes by March 4, or there will most certainly be a lockout of undetermined length. We have a higher probability of seeing Snooki become a rocket scientist, or seeing Lady Gaga make a routine stage entrance, than we do of seeing all of these disagreements worked out by the fourth day of March.

Basically, a cliff notes version of the chief financial disagreement is this: There is an approximately $9 billion total pot that must be divided up between the owners and players. Under the current agreement, the owners devote $1 billion of that $9 billion to themselves before dividing the rest of it up with the players 50/50. The owners want to re-negotiate that division of profits to guarantee themselves $2 billion before splitting the remaining $7 billion with the players. This means the players would get roughly $3.5 billion of the total $9 billion pile. Huh? Just a little over 40 percent for the guys laying their bodies on the line every year? As if most of these owners wouldn't be rich and wealthy beyond the comprehension of most of us even if they DIDN'T own an NFL franchise?

Look, I hate to choose sides over something that is undoubtedly this layered and complex, and I'm sure I don't know all of the details. But whatever those details are, it's a plain and simple fact that the owners want almost two whole thirds of the pie, with the players left to divvy up the rest. Hey owners, if it wasn't you owning these teams, you don't think there are plenty of wealthy-beyond-imagination entrepreneurs out there who might step up to the plate and gladly buy out your commodity? I'm quite sure there are. And yes, there are substitute players (i.e. scabs) who would happily fill in if the starters said "Eff you guys" and stayed on their side of the picket lines ... but of course the obvious difference in that scenario is that the overall quality of the product would be much more noticeably diluted with substitute players than it would with "wet-behind-the-ears" owners. There are a handful of starting NFL players among the best-of-the-best that inspire laughter as it is now (who wants Jay Cutler on their team? I didn't think so). Can you imagine the backups to THOSE guys getting primetime play because the Varsity Team is sitting on the sidelines trying to work out their disputes with these greedy-ass owners?

NFL Players, especially compared to a lot of big-contract NBA and MLB players, are the most modestly-paid of the 'Big 3' professional sports participants. And in most cases, they walk away from their chosen profession with the most significant degree of bodily damage. This is basically for our entertainment, folks. Yeah the players love the game, but if someone devised a way for them to make decent money, not sacrifice any of the sport's popularity but also protect them better as players from the dangers of the game, do you think they would object? Of course not! But we as fans love the violent, jarring, strength-on-strength nature and pedigree of the sport, don't we? I don't know anybody who likes the fact that quarterbacks have to be babied now more than ever in today's version of the NFL.

So we want these guys to get what they want, but we also want to see the vicious hits and punishing nature of football, chalking any disagreement with such a mentality up to a "suck it up, don't be a baby, this is what you signed up for" attitude. Meanwhile, if I or anyone else reading this piece right now attempted even the simple act of getting up from the ground about 150 times over three hours, MINUS the body-crushing hits, we'd be begging for mercy.

And I also don't think it's a huge stretch to say that any of the 32 NFL owners could walk away from their product tomorrow (with varying degrees of regret, of course), and not ever have another financial worry for the rest of their days. Oh and they also wouldn't be a physical trainwreck from years of abuse on the field. Most of these guys were made men before they ever even owned an NFL franchise.

I certainly hope it can all be worked out in such a way that won't cause us to miss any games in the 2011 season, but it doesn't look especially hopeful right now. Perhaps most troubling is the fact that the two sides must come to an agreement on the financial details (i.e. the $9 billion total pot issue) before they can even begin to address other contentious subjects such as extending the regular season from 16 to 18 games, the structuring of rookie contracts (including the percentage of guaranteed money), and an issue that's seemingly minor but is very important before any games can actually be played, free agency concerns and which teams will be called "home" for the individual players to which this applies.

I hope some of you are fans of college football. It might get the highest ratings it's ever had this fall, at least within the first few weeks.

BASKETBALL

For anyone out there who dissents from the notion that the NBA All-Star Game is by far the most enjoyable, exciting and fun-to-watch of the four major sports leagues' all-star games, I would love nothing more than to engage in some spirited, yet civil, debate. If you can't get into the NBA All-Star game with the league's current level of ridiculous, unprecedentedly astounding talent, then you just don't give much of a hoot about pro basketball. Let's put it this way: the outcome of the game doesn't mean anything, unlike the Major League Baseball All-star game - whose winner gets home-field advantage in the World Series - yet the most exciting MLB All-Star Game I've ever seen pales in comparison to even the least memorable NBA All-Star Game that I've watched.

Sunday night's game was a tour de force. Now I realize this has much to do with the atypically electric offensive energy, and the fact that nobody is out there giving it 100 percent on defense in an All-star game. But if you watched at least five minutes of live action in that game last night, you can't tell me that those guys weren't playing hard on a general level, trying to impress and displaying an incredible level of skill and athleticism. It's the most fun brand of basketball you'll ever see. The alley-oops, the effortless-looking dunks, the crazy hustle on both ends of the floor. These guys will rarely get into spells like that during any other game, and I'm including the playoffs, unless you're lucky enough to get a finals matchup between two run-and-gun teams (which never seems to happen anymore). No, the most successful title-winning teams in recent years are the squads that play ball-control, tenacious, half-court, defense-oriented basketball (i.e. San Antonio, Boston, L.A. Lakers).

And for as awful as the Lakers have looked for the last several weeks heading into the All-Star break, Kobe Bryant silenced a lot of doubters with an eye-opening All-Star Game performance in front of the hometown crowd at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, leading the West to a 148-143 victory over the East. Regardless of your personal feelings about him (I don't even want to unravel that ball of wax), that was vintage Kobe right there (37 points, 14 rebounds), just a stone-cold assassin when it comes to scoring the ball.

And for the East, LeBron James notched a triple-double for only the second time in All-Star game history (Michael Jordan is the only other player to have done that).

It will be a fun second half to the season. The Miami Heat have gotten their legs and are now officially the second-best team in the Eastern Conference behind Boston, and have also predictably developed into the villains of the NBA by joining superstar forces in attempts to win a title (LeBron is routinely booed whenever he handles the rock in enemy territory). Meanwhile, from top to bottom, the Western Conference is about as loaded as Andy Reid's plate in a free buffet line. San Antonio looks like the best team right now, but the Lakers are still the champs, Oklahoma City is young and frighteningly good, and the Dallas Mavericks have to get back to the Finals one of these years, right?

As for the never-ending Carmelo Anthony trade talk, I really wish I'd stop hearing the daily "rumor" updates and just get the low-down one day when a trade actually happens. As for Knicks and Nets fans that are hopeful that 'Melo comes their way, sure it would be an improvement in some ways, but it's not necessarily a championship-winning maneuver, at least not right away. Especially for the Knicks, who would have to gut their roster for a guy who is a great scorer and finisher, but isn't a great defender (something the Knicks need more of) and doesn't necessarily bring a disciplined leadership role to a team comprised primarily of younger players.

As for the most exciting young player in the league right now? Far and away, Blake Griffin of the L.A. Clippers. What a phenomenon. He dunked over a car to win the slam dunk competition Saturday night. Really? Really.

Check the technique on that one, dog.

Enjoy, back for Oscar talk later this week.

Super Bowl Pick and Other Gems

2011-02-06T16:44:00.000-05:00

Well, based on the last words written in this space as it applies to predicting winners of playoff football games, why should you listen to me about anything, right?

Indeed, I whiffed on both NFL conference championship game picks. Nothing like the 'oh-fer' statistic, as in 'oh-fer-2' on my picks. Let me say this - all week leading up to the Bears-Packers NFC Championship game, I was definitely feeling Green Bay as the winner (as were most). Then, I pulled the switcharoo at the last second, because I just got a funny feeling. You know how that happens sometimes. It just seemed too easy to pick the Packers beating the Bears in a close one, yet that's exactly what happened. Sometimes the obvious pick is the right pick. However, I'm not sure if the result would have turned out the same if:

1) the Bears didn't suck so badly

2) Jay Cutler didn't seemingly give up so easily (Cutler's ineffectiveness was a large contributing factor to point number one. It infected the whole rest of the team like some kind of evil succubus).

Yeah, I know, MCL problems are no fun to deal with. But I just feel like there are certain players, certain QBs especially, that would have had to be literally driven off the field on a stretcher in order to keep them out of a conference championship game. It was also Cutler's body language on the sideline thereafter. Sulking, sullen-looking, standing by himself, staring blankly at the field rather than appearing positive, engaged or helping out his team in ANY way. I'm pretty sure I could have stood there on crutches eyeballing the field and not communicating with anyone around me too. Oh well. I've said in the past Cutler will never be a Super Bowl winning quarterback, and I stand by that statement (until I'm proven wrong).

As for the other game, yeah I was confident about the Jets' chances, but definitely not surprised Pittsburgh won. It's just such a shame New York had such a Godawful first half of football. Even considering that, they still almost pulled out the comeback win. But the more I think about it, why exactly did I think the Jets would beat a model organization like the Steelers for the second time in less than 6 weeks, when that second game is the AFC Championship game AT Heinz Field in Pittsburgh? Probably should have seen that coming. Again - oh well.

So what's likely to happen in Super Bowl XLV, kicking off in about two hours? Good gravy, I've heard this game dissected, put together, disassembled and reassembled five ways 'til Tuesday in the past two weeks. There is no matchup, no strategy, no "This is likely to happen" plot-point that I haven't consumed and digested in some way. But what it so often comes down to in games like these isn't so much about the X's and O's as it is about preparation, team chemistry, and the mental aspect of being at your best performance level. Also minimizing mistakes. It's no secret that the team usually committing fewer penalties and turnovers is often the winning one.

Having put that out there, there are definitely some matchup angles that favor Green Bay over Pittsburgh, and the Packers are about a 3-point favorite in this game, despite their inferior record and No. 6 seed out of the NFC vs. the Steelers' better record and No. 2 seed out of the AFC. It's also been pointed out repeatedly that both of these teams overcame massive injury problems to get here this year. This has to be a Super Bowl matchup record for most number of players injured from start of season until conclusion amongst the two final teams. But younger guys stepped up all around and made names for themselves. Pretty powerful stuff.

So why is Green Bay favored? And why do I agree that they are probably going to win? (By the way, I do). Well, it does sound counter-intuitive. The Steelers have won two Super Bowls in the previous five seasons before this one. They have 6 Super Bowl titles, more than any other team. They are generally the standard to which a franchise should aspire from the ownership committee, to the GM, on down to the coaching staff and players they draft (Ben Roethlisberger's character issues aside, of course). Green Bay has its own storied history, as we all know.

But the wave of momentum the Packers have been riding for weeks now just seems unstoppable. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh let both Baltimore and the Jets hang around in those games, never feeling as though it was salted away until the final ticks ran off the clock. When you look at what the Packers did in the playoffs, they only seemed to get better with each passing performance, although their dominant win over the Falcons in Atlanta might have been their best game. It never felt as though they were in danger of losing any of those games, perhaps with the exception of the too-close-for-comfort 21-16 win in Philadelphia to open the playoffs (Michael Vick's last-second desperation pass intended for Riley Cooper in the end zone was picked off by Tramon Williams).

And because this game is in Dallas, indoors, don't think Green Bay won't utilize its athletes and speed like crazy on that fast track. They're kind of built like a '99 Rams type of team, but had to play a lot of their late season games in cold weather that neutralized that dynamic to a considerable degree. Overall they seem faster and more athletic than Pittsburgh, and that very well could show through in this indoor stadium.

Finally, when it comes to the matchups, it's been widely reported that stalwart Steelers' rookie center Maurkice Pouncey, the glue that has helped hold together a shaky Pittsburgh offensive line all season, will sit this game out due to an ankle injury. Of all the positions on the offensive line, this is one of the most detrimental ones to have disrupted in a game of this magnitude. I'm not saying Pittsburgh is doomed because of this, but it certainly won't make things easy on them. Green Bay defensive lineman B.J. Raji will be setting up a tent and camping gear in that Steeler backfield today. He'll be getting more penetration than Peter North. Okay, come on now, this is a family show.

What I'm getting at is the fact that Pittsburgh's offensive line troubles will only be highlighted by the late fill-in at the center position, and Green Bay's defense will try to do whatever it can to take advantage of this. The Packers need to keep Steelers QB Roethlisberger inside the pocket as well, as he's proven to be dangerous when he gets into the open field either running for a first down or throwing on the run. As much as he doesn't get credit for it, Big Ben is a playmaker when, as a defense, you give him time to be one.

On the other side of the ball, Pittsburgh's run defense is stellar, having given up 100-plus yards in a game only a handful of times this year. But their pass defense is a bit more vulnerable. This is precisely why Aaron Rodgers needs to have an awesome performance if Green Bay is going to have a real shot at winning.

Likely a close game, but I'm going with the Cheese-heads in a tight one. If the Steelers were to prevail with their big-game experience and Big Ben's "always-finds-a-way-to-win" intangibles, I don't think any of us will be shocked. But the Packers feel like a team of destiny, to be sure. As viewers, it's likely that WE won't feel like losers, which is perhaps most important of all.

It'll all unfold soon enough. And then we'll wait until March 4th to confirm what many of us believe is going to happen (the inevitable lockout) - causing us to hold our breath anxiously until just days before next season is supposed to begin (at which time the owners and players will hopefully find a solution to their current financial dispute).

Enjoy the commercials and Black Eyed Peas halftime show (I'm pretty sure I won't enjoy either). Can we get Jay-Z for a halftime show one in the not-too-distant future? Maybe for the New Jersey Super Bowl in a few years.

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A MOVIE THAT KIND OF PISSED ME OFF

It almost pains me to devote any space to this, but I saw a movie last night called "Animal Kingdom" and it just sort of annoyed the crap out of me. When I did some research after seeing it and found out that it's received all sorts of critical adulation and high user ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB, it pissed me off even more.

It's an Australian crime film that hasn't had a whole lot of attention state-side, but Jacki Weaver has scored a 'Best Supporting Actress' Oscar nomination for her performance in it (she definitely won't win), and the flick came highly recommended through one of my wife's co-workers, so we decided to check it out via Netflix.

If you're prepared to be thoroughly unimpressed, disbelieving at a lot of what goes on and questioning things like "when the hell is this movie supposed to be taking place" then check it out. But if you're expecting it to be on the same level as such outstanding genre-similar pictures from 2010 such as "Winter's Bone" or "The Town" - which a lot of "Animal Kingdom's" supporters claim are inferior to this movie on IMDB message boards - then prepare to be super let down.

The movie had a distinct, unique flavor and kept you wanting to know how it was all going to turn out by virtue of the heavily lopsided "sympathetic protagonist vs. several really mean antagonists" dynamic. However, I can also say with certainty that it did quite poorly at explaining many important aspects that would have been helpful to know, such as:

* The family depicted in the film is based - loosely, as it turns out - on a notoriously bad-ass crime family from Melbourne in the 1980s known as the Pettingills. Google them for details, but these were NOT nice people. And that would have been fine if the movie made it clear in any way, shape or form that the Pettingill family had any sort of influence in the making of this movie. But nowhere was that to be found. I only found it out myself by some post-movie watching internet searching to find out the general consensus on this mediocre work that has somehow piled up a boatload of critical acclaim.

There are other examples, but very few I can get into without giving away some stuff via spoilers. Just trust me when I say that a lot of elements go unexplained, and many scenes that should receive more in-depth exploration (or ANY exploration at all) were not given the proper treatment. And the acting was decent by some, mediocre by others and even weak by a few. Character development was also weak. You had good people or bad people, with very little in between and no character subtlety. That always bugs the crap out of me. Almost every character in this movie is unlikeable in some way, and completely stupid to boot. If this is based on real cops-and-robbers events in Australia in the 1980s, I'm happy as a pig in shit that I wasn't living in Melbourne, Australia in the 1980s. Either that, or it's a poor translation.

Finally, the movie is based on events that happened in the 80s but is set in present day, which makes for many confusing moments. There are cultural elements of the 80s stamped all over the film (cheesy mustaches, Air Supply videos on ancient-looking TV sets, and the apparent ability for law enforcement officials to get away cleanly with unprovoked murder in crowded, public areas in broad daylight), but it's clear from the cell phones, newer-model cars and occasional LCD TVs that it's taking place within the last few years.

Overall, if you want to watch something that's dumb in many ways, yet has elements and potential of being a slick, smartly executed crime flick if many aspects were handled differently, then you should absolutely watch this movie. Mostly, if you want to be pissed off and annoyed at everyone that makes an appearance in a film (plus the writers and director), also absolutely watch this movie.

Oh and there's no elements of humor either. Way too heavy-handed and serious. Come on people, there's humor in everything, even the most dire of situations. Some works of art could take themselves a little less seriously.

That's about all I have to say about "Animal Kingdom." Also, many of its supporters hail it as one of the best, brightest Australian crime flicks ever, which is roughly akin to me saying that the last episode of American Idol with the brand new judges cast was the best episode of American Idol with the brand new judges cast ever. In other words, the bar was set kind of low to begin with.

It's intriguing and an experience all its own to be sure. If you feel like you've seen all the Oscar-worthy flicks that you care to and don't know what to turn to next, go ahead and give this a shot. You'll definitely come away with an opinion, for sure.

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FOOD FOR HIP HOP THOUGHT

Last time in this space, I wowed you with a Grandmaster Flash remix, a 7-plus minute marathon of early 80s, instrumental, turntable wizardry. I sincerely hope you enjoyed.

I want to give you all some more listening pleasure as it applies to some true, timeless, classic hip hop. And when I say timeless, I mean the type of track that's going to pop whether it's 1989, 1995 or 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfKMIdoJL0

This video, my friends, is a link to a 1995 Radio Freestyle by Jay-Z (right before he blew up and started taking over the hip hop world) and Big L, one of the greatest of all time that nobody knows about because of his tragic murder in February of 1999. He was 24 years old, and by the accounts of many true hip hop heads, one of the absolute best lyricists and microphone controllers ever. Born and raised in Harlem, he could straight up battle rhyme with the best of them. His wordplay and metaphors are sick, nasty, vicious. Just listen to the freestyle and see if you don't agree.

Perhaps best of all, Big L kind of slays Jay on this track, and I say that as someone with the utmost respect for the Jigga Man. But Big L had already been rapping on records for about 3-4 years when this freestyle dropped, while Jay was still honing his style, and was still far from his peak as an MC. As for L, '95 up until the day of his untimely slaying was his time to shine. His 1995 LP "Lifestyles of da Poor and Dangerous" is an underground classic. His 1998 follow-up "The Big Picture" was still strong, but the debut is held in higher regard. He has unreleased tracks and freestyles all over the internet though, and he's all heavy on the "Diggin' in the Crates" artists' tracks from the early 90s (Lord Finesse, Fat Joe, Diamond D, O.C., Showbiz and AG, etc).

Hope you enjoy, and look up some more Big L tracks if you like the East Coast battle rapping style of the 90s. The lyrical content is rough stuff, but it's an honest expression of his background and youthful experiences. I'm usually the first to de-cry gangster posturing if it's not done artfully or with any sort of flair or style, but Big L can kill microphones with or without curse words and tales of violence, believe that.

Prediction ... PAIN!

2011-01-23T13:05:00.001-05:00

These NFL conference championship games today are going to be straight up bone-crunching, raw displays of power. In the freezing cold. Apparently, this thing happens in January where really cold air permeates much of the northern portions of the United States, and we have some particularly brutal pockets of said cold air going on this weekend. Not so much fun if you're attending one of these games live (or even worse, playing in them), but much more so if you're watching from the comfort of home (me!).

Fellow football lovers, let's relish these last three games of the 2010-11 campaign. We might not see any more for quite some time after this, what with the gloomy presence of a possible lockout casting a depressingly uncertain pall over the proceedings of the NFL's postseason. Let's not focus too much on the labor-dispute saga -- certainly not while the games are on -- but it's hard to forget about it completely. How the draft might be affected is also uncertain, particularly as it applies to rookie contracts. April of 2011 might be the last chance for players out of college to ink deals that give them a lot of cheddar guaranteed up-front before proving that they deserved the big bucks all along. Personally, I wouldn't be opposed to some sort of language or structuring of rookie contracts that filters out gradually larger chunks of cash based on better-than-expected, rookie-year, on-the-field results, but it would probably be a little too nebulous or difficult to enforce this.

Anyway, on to the picks.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME - NO. 6 SEED GREEN BAY PACKERS (12-6) AT NO. 2 SEED CHICAGO BEARS (12-5)

Last week: Green Bay throttled the top-seeded Falcons in Atlanta, surprising more than a few followers. Chicago stormed out to a dominant lead over the visiting Seattle Seahawks before letting their foot off the gas pedal toward the end, making the final score a bit misleading. Those who watched closely weren't fooled - Chicago was loads better than Seattle last weekend.

Keys to the Game: These two squads are fierce divisional rivals and two of the long-standing, storied franchises in NFL history. There is certainly no love lost between them even during their regular-season matchups, and the stakes can't possibly get any higher than this for a Bears/Packers playoff meeting (the right to go to the Super Bowl).

The teams split their regular season meetings, with Chicago winning 20-17 at Soldier Field early on in the season, and Green Bay prevailing 10-3 in a Week 17, "win-to-get-in" Lambeau Field clash.

To say that today's game will likely be a close call, especially when you throw in the single-digit wind chill temperatures expected for the 2 p.m. local time kickoff, would be a severe understatement.

A productive passing game is infinitely more difficult to pull off in frigid conditions, which may negate the fact that GB's Aaron Rodgers seems to have a slight edge over the Bears' Jay Cutler at the quarterback position. Both offenses struggled to get a whole lot done in that week 17 meeting, but turnovers and penalties were also part of that equation. Needless to say, whichever team commits more of such bone-headed infractions today will likely walk off Soldier Field as the loser.

Assuming the passing games will be slow-going, establishing an efficient ground game will be ever important. Or perhaps we'll see more of a West Coast offense type of passing game - lots of screens and over-the-middle short stuff. Expect both defenses to throw lots of looks at each QB to disrupt the offense's rhythm and timing.

Should the game unfold with stubborn yardage via passing attacks, it would seem that the Bears have more high-profile weapons out of the backfield (Matt Forte, or even some gadget-type plays with Devin Hester) than does Green Bay, which has worked miracles out of its injury situation this year. James Starks probably didn't even expect he'd be as significant for the Pack as he has in the playoffs this year.

The coaching matchup seems to be kind of a wash. Neither Mike McCarthy nor Lovie Smith stands out as a high-profile genius, but at least Lovie went to a Super Bowl with this franchise four years ago.

The Pick: It's hard to pick against Green Bay. Damn difficult. They were a preseason Super Bowl favorite, they took their lumps with injuries, but then they still managed to finish 10-6 and come out on top in a must-win game to sneak into the playoffs. They did this with a patchwork gathering of non-superstars and a gutsy QB named Aaron Rodgers, who by all accounts is probably one of the potential future superstars in this league. The idea that they are in the NFC Championship game is a little nuts.

The 2010 Chicago Bears, on the other hand, are that team that doesn't have the same flash or story behind them. They're the squad that nobody (me included) has wanted to admit might actually be a Super Bowl contender. They don't seem like they should be this good, but they are. They present matchup problems offensively for even the most tested of defenses, and defensively they have looked really solid lately.

Even though I'd love nothing more than seeing a Jets-Packers Super Bowl, I think Chicago is coming out on top in this one. Look, the Packers have been an incredible story this year. And if they had stayed healthy all season I would probably be picking them in this game (come to think of it, had they stayed healthy all season this game would probably be at Lambeau Field and not in Chicago).

But the Bears were just beaten by this team a few weeks ago, and you know they can't like the fact that they are considered an underdog at home against a No. 6 seed. It's kind of insulting really. I think they're going to come out loaded to the teeth. I think Israel Idonije and Julius Peppers are going to be unstoppable beasts on the defensive line, and that Aaron Rodgers will be running for his life most of this game. I think Chicago's 'D' might turn in a performance for the ages. And I think Chicago's offense is going to surprise a lot of folks in how multi-dimensional it can actually be.

And let's not forget the obvious advantage the Bears have on special teams (Hester, anyone?)

It will be an incredible fight, but I think Chicago wants this bad, and playing at home will be the edge that they need to push them to that other level. Chicago in a close one, probably a 3-point game.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME - NO. 6 NEW YORK JETS (13-5) AT NO. 2 SEED PITTSBURGH STEELERS (13-4)

Last week: The Jets took down the top-seeded, favorite-to-win-it-all, big bad New England Patriots, IN FOXBORO mind you, 28-21. They just played better, plain and simple. The defense was incredible. And they were pissed. They backed up all that trash-talking, which is good for them, because otherwise they'd be eating a ton of crow right now. The Steelers beat up on their divisional kid brother, the Baltimore Ravens, 31-24 in a close one at Heinz Field. The Steelers and Ravens don't know how to play a game with each other that's not intensely even. Baltimore's last chance ran out when a fourth-down pass to T.J. Houshmanzadeh hit him in the chest and bounced out of his arms around midfield with under a minute remaining.

Keys to the Game: The Jets knocked off the Steelers 22-17 at Heinz Field on Dec. 19. The key play was a late-game safety by New York's Jason Taylor that provided a five-point cushion, meaning that Pittsburgh needed a touchdown on their last drive instead of a game-tying field goal.

Jets head coach Rex Ryan basically just needs to duplicate today what he did in that game. Although it certainly won't be that simple. Pittsburgh likely watched the game tape countless times over the past 7 days to study what went wrong so that they can correct it.

The Steelers' offense vs. The Jets' vaunted defense is the premiere matchup for this game. New York stalwart defensive back Darrelle Revis will likely be matched up on the Steelers' best big-play receiver -- Mike Wallace -- and Antonio Cromartie will likely lock up against Hines Ward. This will be an incredibly physical battle. This game will likely come down to what the younger Pittsburgh receivers - Antonio Brown and Emmanuelle Sanders - can do against the Jets' lesser pass defenders. Can the Jets' defensive front (guys like Shaun Ellis) get enough pressure on Ben Roethlisberger when they'll be outnumbered, much the way they did against Tom Brady last Sunday? It will be interesting to see how this all plays out. The linebackers and corners/safeties will likely be in pass coverage on almost every play, since this tactic worked so well against New England. They may have to change up that strategy though if it doesn't work out personnel-wise against the Steelers.

On the other side of the ball, can Mark Sanchez become the first quarterback ever to win five road playoff games in a career, in just his second year in the NFL? Yes, that would be insane. But it's not impossible. The Steelers always have a great defense, but Troy Polamalu, the guy that takes them to another level, hasn't looked the same since coming back from injury. Pittsburgh's D is vulnerable in spots, and the Jets have to do a great job at finding those. Sanchez will need to have a big game offensively if the Jets are going to win, considering that P'burgh has only allowed 100-plus rushing yards twice this season. The Jets will have to be very inventive with their offensive play-calling, because you can't win if you don't score.

Something tells me the Jets' offense is going to have a tough time sustaining drives and staying out on the field. I'm expecting a Time of Possession breakdown that heavily favors the Steelers. This worked out for the Jets last weekend though. New England had the ball way more than the Jets did, but we all know how that played out.

The Pick: The Steelers are a model organization, all the way around. They have six Super Bowls, more than any other franchise, and they have a veteran, but still relatively young, QB who has two Super Bowls under his belt already. They have a ferocious defense, great coaching, and they're tough to beat at home.

So naturally, I'm picking the New York Football Jets.

Hear me out. The Jets just have that intangible quality this year that can't quite be explained. It's more than their flashy ways, their trash-talking head coach and players, their frathouse mentality, their 'us-against-the-world' swagger. That's all part of it. But beyond that, they always seem to find a way to win when it's absolutely necessary. They're not scared of playing on the road - they've already shown they can do that successfully (just look at the past two seasons). There's also the fact that they beat this team already on this field. Sure that usually works against the team that won the first time in the rematch, but it's different with this Jets team. You can feel it. They're not scared or fazed by anything.

I think they'll win the key matchups and do enough defensively to basically shut Pittsburgh down. In fact, I'm expecting the Jets' D to be the hero today, come up with a few big turnovers to set up shop for New York with decent field position and a few relatively easy scores. I don't think the Jets can drive the ball down the field consistently all night long against that Steelers defense. But I have a feeling the Jets' D is going to come up huge and help get the win for this team, just like it did last week against New England.

Remember, the Jets have taken down Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in back-to-back weeks, on the road. Roethlisberger and the Steelers are next - and they've already won that battle this year. They just need to keep doing what they've been doing. On the other hand, the Steelers' run of success can't continue forever. They've got to lose one of these big games. Today seems like just as good a day as any.

Another extremely close one, but I think the Jets get it done.

Jets-Bears Super Bowl. My God. If I'm actually right, I'll be shocked.

A Variety of Cool Stuff

2011-01-22T19:40:00.001-05:00

What's up playas and playettes?

Been heavy on the sports stuff lately (especially the American football, as the kids like to call it), so I thought I'd mix things up with a cornucopia of other stuff that's either awesome, or laughably stupid in some way (new season of Jersey Shore anyone?) NFC/AFC Championship game picks forthcoming tomorrow before 3 p.m. kickoff of the first game (Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears). EL Presidente won't leave you hanging, don't worry.

GOLDEN GLOBES

Word on the street is this guy pissed off some important people at the Golden Globes last weekend.

So much so, in fact, that he apparently won't be invited back to host.

Okay, so Ricky Gervais said some inflammatory stuff. He was on the anti-establishment tip. Not drinking the Kool Aid. It seems kind of obvious he wants to up his profile and continue to push boundaries as a comedian and general celebrity personality. It's hard to imagine this as anything other than a calculated career move. Whether it actually helps him or not remains to be seen, but if there's even a hint of truth to anything he said, I give him credit for setting his fazers on stun and calling people out. Hey if nothing else, it was entertaining.

As for the actual winners? Sometimes the folks who score the hardware are a decent indicator of what might happen at the Oscars, but that's not always the case. I agree with many of the choices, but like usual, you could make an argument for others who lost out but still gave great performances.

Highlights for me (and by highlights, I mean the selections I agree with most vehemently) include:

-- Christian Bale scoring Best Supporting Actor for "The Fighter." I could not believe it was a professional actor playing a character rather than a real guy off the streets of Lowell, Mass.

-- "Boardwalk Empire" winning Best TV Series Drama -- solid show, although I'm a little surprised Steve Buscemi won best lead actor in a drama series over both Jon Hamm (Mad Men) and Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad). I mean, he's adequate in his role as Nucky Thompson, but I've never felt so inspired by him that I just had to start up a conversation about his performance.

-- Aaron Sorkin winning "Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture" for The Social Network -- great flick, and an essential story in our current age of social media addiction and up-to-the-minute updates about virtually everything.

-- Natalie Portman winning "Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama" for her performance in Black Swan. It's not easy to play a character who is both disengaged from most of those around her and also emotionally disturbed all at once, but she did it convincingly, and she had you rooting for her to come out on top even if she wasn't the most likable protagonist ever. If a bat-shit crazy Barbara Hershey was your mother in a cramped Manhattan apartment for several years, you'd be a kick in the ass away from a stint at Bellevue yourself.

It will be interesting to see what happens at The Oscars. Generally speaking, my favorite flicks from 2010 (or at least the ones that stand out most right now) are The Social Network, The Town (brilliant cops-and-robbers stuff, wonderfully done, very unique and entertaining), Black Swan (a total mind-hump), True Grit (fantastic Coen Brothers remake of the 1969 John Wayne classic western) and Winter's Bone, which unfortunately will likely get the least amount of attention at the Academy Awards.

It came out too long ago (last April), had a limited theaters release and admittedly features bleak, depressing subject matter. But it's a jarring story about how the other half lives with a watershed performance by a promising young actress named Jennifer Lawrence. You should check it out, but you should also do so only when planning a happy activity immediately afterward. I mean, there just aren't that many feel-good movies about poverty-level, meth-addicted people and a teenage kid looking after most of her family while drug-dealing, fugitive dad has put the house up for bond collateral. It's worth it to see this though, trust me. Would I ever steer you in the wrong direction? Certainly not intentionally!

KENNY POWERS

Probably my favorite comedy right now, on network TV, cable TV or damn near anywhere, is an absurd, uproarious tour de force known as Eastbound and Down, and it airs on HBO. There's a very good chance you know it, or also enjoy it, which is good because it is goddamn comedic gold, this much I promise you.

The series focuses on Kenny Powers, a washed-up major league pitcher who has been derailed by drugs and alcohol, and also untimely injury. Season one opens with Kenny needing to figure out what comes next in life after his career as a pro baseball player takes a nose-dive, so he ends up crashing with his brother's family in Shelby, North Carolina. That's enough for set-up, but practically everything that happens in this show is laugh-out-loud funny anyway.

What's best about it though? That's tough to say. The obviously idiotic situations that ensue are definitely part of it, but for me, it's got to be the atrociously vulgar yet hilarious dialogue and Powers' complete lack of cooth and decency. Somehow though, you love his character, vile though he sometimes is as a person. Danny McBride completely kills it as Kenny Powers.

The underrated ingredient that makes the show really enjoyable though? That would be a guy named Steve Little, who plays the incredibly nerdy and overconfident yet somewhat self-aware Stevie Janowski, a schlubby dude in Shelby who idolizes Kenny and begs on as his sidekick when Powers rolls into town in Season one.

There have been two seasons of EB&D so far, but it's an extremely manageable 14 total episodes at 30 minutes each. It's totally worth the commitment. You'll plow through them in no time. It's easy, guilt-free, feel-good viewing, and you'll always feel better about yourself when you watch what most of what these mopes go through. Isn't that the point of a good comedy? Anyway, you can catch it on HBO On Demand or through re-runs that they occasionally air. If you don't get HBO, Netflix it.

A SAD 'SITUATION'

Can we just have Jersey Shore taken off the air already? It's a joke at this point, right? Are these situations really real? Is the show not completely manufactured? Do Snooki and The Situation really have multi-million dollar book deals? It's times like these when I need to shoot myself. Not fatally, you know, but a non-lethal bullet would be a nice reminder that people who have NO business being well-paid OR famous are occasionally rewarded with both.

At this point, the only fun for me in a show like Jersey Shore is trying to figure out if these people are for real. Is this really who they are 24/7? Sadly, I think the answer is 'yes.' Nobody can act THAT well. I suppose there's something refreshing about that, right? They're just being themselves, take them or leave them. Nothing wrong with that, right? Certainly not. And if you want to waste hours of your life and basically just become dumber, you can watch them 'just be themselves' for hours on end on MTV!

But the show is somewhat of a trainwreck in the sense that you just can't turn the dial once you stumble upon it. There's no going back. You become transfixed. Don't fall into this trap. Sadly, my wife has a few times already, and I swear to all that is good and just in this world that neither of us is any better for it.

HIP HOP TIP DU JOUR

Since I fashioned my creative namesake after the one and only Notorious B.I.G. -- (moment of silence for his hip hop greatness) ... and .... there. Thank you. -- I'm going to try to begin making it a semi-regular occurrence in this space to drop some true blue hip hop knowledge on those that care to receive it, ya dig?

As an art form, hip hop is one of the more revolutionary and fascinating cultural movements of the past 40 years (the roots of what inspired it go back way farther than that). As is known by many of us who once cared for, and still do, great works in this art form, it's clear that the culture has changed in such a way that the life force and impact this music once had isn't the same these days. But it will never truly be dead. We will always have what made it what it was in the first place.

To that end, I'd like to share with ya'll a prime example of some dope sounds I've been grooving on lately. Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9aG3xc9IZw

This, constituents, is a perfect example of what laid the groundwork, the foundation, for hip hop music to explode into the universally adored musical movement it has become. This is Grandmaster Flash, one of the original and truly transcendent hip hop figures ever, getting busy on the one's and two's as only he can, taking some dope old 70s sounds and chopping them up for sonic wonderment. Keep in mind all he had were his hands, some black wax circles and a couple basic turntables, as this was clearly back in the day.

Yes, it's not studio-polished, and yes the beat chops slightly out of rhythm here and there. But that's precisely what makes this so enigmatic. Considering what GMF did with what he had to work with, this is like somehow turning a packet of Hot Pockets into gourmet dining.

Hope you enjoy. This one is a 7-minute instrumental beatdown, but put it on in the background while you're doing your taxes, or wasting time on facebook, or looking up Snooki's latest arrest. Next time I'll break you off with something on the lyrical tip.

Peace.

L-O-S-E-R-S - LOSERS!

2011-01-10T13:35:00.001-05:00

Okay, sorry, couldn't resist making fun of the Eagles chant there.

On the "right-to-the-point" tip ... (more stuff to come in later posts, but right now, need to get this on the record).

NFL's NFC Wild Card Playoffs - Sunday, Jan. 9th, 2010 at Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pa.

Green Bay Packers 21, Phialdelphia Eagles 16

Unfortunately, my prediction was right. In this instance, I would rather have been wrong. And it played out almost exactly like I thought it would. The defense actually exceeded my expectations in terms of how many points were given up, but they were on the field way too long, they let Green Bay sustain their drives and take too much time off the clock, and perhaps most importantly, they were awful at stopping the Packers on third down. Simply put, they couldn't come up with a key stop when they needed it most. As expected, Michael Vick was poorly protected for most of the game. I heard some bozos on The FAN (660 AM, New York radio) blaming all of this on Vick, how he didn't 'show up' and failed to get it done in a big moment. Not one word from these 'experts' though on how much the offensive line blew chunks yesterday, and has for most of the year due to inexperience and untimely injuries to key guys (i.e. Winston Justice). Vick wasn't at his best yesterday, but he certainly wasn't at his worst. And if you blame this loss on him primarily that only tells me you weren't really watching the game that closely. If you want to blame any individual (which is usually stupid in a team sport anyway), blame David Akers for missing two field goals that are usually chip shots by his standards. Those six points would surely have made a difference in a five-point loss.

And for how badly the Birds played, they still had a chance to win on that last-second desperation pass from Vick to Riley Cooper in the back of the end zone, before it was unceremoniously picked off by Green Bay's Tramon Williams. It's unbelievable that they weren't put away much earlier in this game when considering how mediocre the defense was, how inefficent the offense was, the bad-luck re-injury to DeSean Jackson's ankle (he's been gimpy for awhile now), the multitude of stupid penalties, and the failed two-point conversion that would have pulled Philly within 3 (making it 21-18), even though Philly got a mulligan on it because of one of said stupid penalties. A three-point deficit changes the complexion completely, especially psychologically. "Come on guys, a field goal and we're tied, going to OT!" But considering how Akers performed yesterday, a potentially game-tying, last-second field goal would have, no doubt, sailed wide left/right.

I guess now would be a decent time to point out that had the Eagles somehow won, they would have been feasted on by the Bears next weekend at Soldier Field. I mean, the Eagles' D allowed 123 rushing yards by James Starks, a no-name who didn't even have that many yards for the entire season coming into yesterday's game. Can you imagine what Matt Forte would do to them next weekend?

Hey, what can you say. The 2010 season actually exceeded the projected ceiling of this team for most Eagles fans (or at least the realistic ones). It's a young team, lots of injuries this year, a brand new dynamic at the quarterback position, and regardless of how you feel individually about Michael Vick, his play carried the team and was a lightning-rod talking point for the NFL in the 20-oh-10. Oh and Andy Reid continues to appear as though he has no impact on anything that happens out there.

If I was an artist and some big-shot commissioned me to do a work of art entitled "Blank Stare," I would literally paint a snap-shot of Andy Reid's face on the sidelines during any game. I don't understand why so many people continue to defend him. Does he inspire any sort of tangible emotion associated with a winning football team? Passion? Inspiration? Hard work? Dedication? Excitement? Do you think of any of these things when you think of Andy Reid? I think of a guy who never gets pissed off (it's okay to get peeved sometimes Andy, really. It means you actually CARE), a guy who often mis-manages his timeouts during crucial moments (especially toward the end of a half), and a guy whose success is primarily due to having been fortunate enough to be surrounded by a decent staff and talented players. Put Andy Reid in St. Louis, or Denver, or Cleveland, or any other currently undesireable destination in the league right now, and he'd be fired within 2-3 years. We'll never get the chance to see that happen though, because no matter how many frustrating endings to Eagles seasons we experience, it's like he has permanent immunity. A change in the coaching department wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Oh and I can hear the defenders right now. "They had a lot of injuries, young team, can't blame the coach for that!" True, it can't be entirely blamed on him this year. But his inability to generate anything positive out of something negative isn't helping at ALL. Look at what Belichick had to work with this year, and look at New England's record (my God, am I really doing this? Building up the Pats??). He took a bunch of guys who were no-names back in September of 2010 and made them household names by January of 2011. We all know who BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Danny Woodhead and Rob Gronkowski are by now. When did Andy Reid ever turn nothing into something? I'm really thinking hard on this one. I got nothin.'

So what's to do in the offseason? It seems fairly obvious that the organization will try to sign Vick to some sort of long-term deal (perhaps slap the franchise tag on him), and I'm fine with that. But put a better offensive line in front of him. It's a nice collection of skill players wearing Eagles unis right now, but please, improve the offensive line and the defense. The secondary is actually not bad. A few more stalwart, big-name linebackers and/or pass rushers would be nice additions though. Special teams seems serviceable enough, shouldn't need to tinker with anything there all that much. And the kicking game is okay (Sav Rocca is a consistent punter, Akers is USUALLY a consistent kicker).

Will be interesting to see what happens on Draft Day 2011 for the Birds. And of course, let's pray to (insert deity here) that there's no lockout for the 2011-12 season.

Monday Night Quarterback

2011-01-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

So here we are in the midst of college football bowl season and in the vital week between the end of the regular NFL season and the first round (aka 'Wild Card' round) of the playoffs.

Like my man DJ Premiere once said (okay, so he's not my man, but still) - "It doesn't get any realer than this."

I know I've been hitting the pigskin-related stuff hard lately, but football to me is like white powder to Frank Lucas in the 70s. It's hard to ever say I've gotten enough of it. I and every other football fanatic is joyful for this time of year, but also mournful that after another 5 weeks or so, we trudge into the dark period that is the seven months without any AMERICAN FOOTBALL. Oh and let's not even begin to get into the fact that there might be a work stoppage, leaving us with no 2011 NFL season. Commish Roger Goodell said earlier today that the league 'can and will' work out the collective bargaining agreement so that the greatest league in all leagues man has ever known will continue on uninterrupted (alright, so I editorialized a little, but he DID say the part about working things out with the CBA).

I know you, like I, am hoping everyone involved who has even a fart's worth of greed in his or her bones smartens up and does what's right for the greater good of all the rabid football fans out there. Pay these guys what they deserve, owners and league reps. And take care of them with better benefits after they retire. I don't want to keep elevating upward on the old high horse here, but it's getting ridiculous. You want to implement an 18-game regular season schedule (horrible idea, by the way), but you can't get straight what constitutes an illegal hit and what doesn't (or you just choose to head-hunt and fine certain players because of their reputation), and worst of all, you don't have any plan in place to help these modern-day gladiators out when they're 42 years old, 6 years retired from the game but can't even bend over to play ball with their kids anymore because of "God-knows-what" aches and pains they have going on. Oh and this is all because you only paid them a pittance compared to what certain NBA players make, leaving them unable to afford the best medical care in their declining years, all so that the kajillionaire owners can continue to pocket what amounts to an extra few dollar bills by their standards.

And now give me a moment to descend off the soapbox. Okay, almost down now. Just a moment. There. Thank you.

But seriously, I love the game as much as anyone, and I recognize that you get what you sign up for in terms of some of the nasty injuries that come along with it. But please, that's all the more reason to protect these guys. They're like pieces of meat right now. The game chews them up and spits them out, knowing full well that the next Brett Favre or Maurice Jones-Drew is coming down the pike to entertain us all for years to come. So who cares about the guys that just put their bodies through about 25 years worth of trauma in a brutal 7-10 year stretch, right? Who would sign up for this? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are guys who leave the game all the time and are fine. But there's a whole lot that aren't so lucky, and the years of service they gave to the league and for our enjoyment doesn't amount to so much as a stack of illegally forged pain pill prescription slips because nobody is there to help these guys. I really hope that changes, or else the premiere athletes in our country in the coming years are going to start gravitating toward anything (baseball, soccer, basketball, hockey, olympics, etc.) that isn't football. And who can blame them? No amount of money in someone's bank account can fix years worth of damage done by concussions or vicious helmet-to-body hits. Please NFL, take better care of these guys, any way you can. I don't have the answers for sure, but I think that more time ought to be spent trying to figure them out.

Now that I've started 2011 off like a real Debbie Downer, on to the fun stuff, shall we? I promise next entry I'll hit up more entertainment or other-sports type topics, but for now, College football and the NFL rolls on.

COLLEGE

The Bowl Season thus far has been, I don't know, seemingly not as memorable as in other years. Can anyone recall any other season that featured so many 'who cares' bowls or such a lack of star-power at the college level? Or maybe I'm just paying less attention, I'm not sure. Either way, it seems like the 2010-11 college football season has been just as much about scandals, athletes being disciplined and how hypocritical and laughable an organization the NCAA has become to most of us. Between the Cam Newton stuff, Reggie Bush being guilted into giving back his Heisman Trophy (with the NCAA playing the role of the 100-percent effective guilt-tripping Jewish mother), and the five Ohio State starters getting in trouble for selling off some awards that they won, it's hard for me to respect what this game is about anymore. I still enjoy the actual football and the general pageantry of it all, but the NCAA needs an overhaul with its whole "You can make millions of dollars for your universities, but you can't profit from or lay your hands on a damn thing that isn't ours" mentality. And forget it if you think you're seeing a playoff instituted anytime soon, but that's a whole separate issue I don't even want to get into now.

Anyway, let's try to focus on the positive for a change. What's been notable as the 2010 season is coming to a close, either in terms of teams' overall performances or the Bowl Games? Well the Rose Bowl was quite entertaining. No. 3 TCU, from one of the supposedly 'inferior' conferences, stopped fifth-ranked Wisconsin 21-19 in Pasadena to finish unbeaten at 12-0 and raise all kinds of questions about whether the Horned Frogs could hang with Auburn and/or Oregon, the two top-ranked schools that will face off for the BCS National Championship on Jan. 10th in Glendale, Ariz. Without a playoff, the controversy will continue year in and year out. Fun for some, maddening for others. Detractors will point out that the Big 10 Conference went 0-5 in New Year's Day Bowl Games in an effort to diminish TCU's accomplishment (never mind that Wisconsin had one of the top scoring offenses in the nation statistically).

Basically, this one is simple folks. The TCU's and Boise's of the world can play with anyone. Have we really not learned this by now? Do we not have enough of a body of evidence to support this yet? Boise upset Oklahoma a few years back during bowl season. Utah crushed Alabama on New Year's Day two years ago, the season before the Crimson Tide won the national title. TCU just held off Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl. Is this not enough to end the superiority complex of the 'major' conferences? Give it a rest already. If this was one of those years where Auburn or Oregon would have lost in the last couple of weeks, TCU just may have had its shot at a title. But it just didn't work out that way. Ironically, two of the best teams from the 'inferior conference' schools met in December when Boise State whacked Utah 26-3 in the MAACO Bowl in Las Vegas. Some redemption for the Broncos after blowing that overtime thriller against Nevada that effectively crushed BSU's national title hopes. There were a few other upsets here and there, but nothing so shocking that it's worth recapping.

Enjoy that Stanford-Virginia Tech matchup in the Orange Bowl tonight. Stanford's all-everything QB Andrew Luck apparently might stay put for another year. Can you imagine if he declares himself eligible for the 2011 NFL Draft, gets taken as the first overall pick (like many are predicting) and then there's a season-long lockout? Talk about some Cardinal fans sitting around next year wondering what could have been. I'm pretty sure I know what Stanford supporters are hoping he chooses to do.

NFL

Wild-card round Playoff matchups are set. Here we go!

NFC - No. 5 New Orleans Saints (11-5) at No. 4 Seattle Seahawks (7-9), Saturday, 4:30 p.m. EST, NBC

Unfortunately, that's no misprint. The Seahawks are the first team with a losing record to make it to the playoffs, a dubious distinction to be sure. And they did it with an inspired Sunday night win over the St. Louis Rams, being led by backup QB Charlie Whitehurst no less, the one and only Clipboard Jesus. I was stunned at how well Seattle played. The crowd was loud, the defense did its job (holding the Rams to just two field goals), and Seattle moved the ball when it needed to do so. The Saints of course rested some key starters in a 23-13 loss to Tampa Bay knowing that Atlanta was well on its way to beating Carolina by halftime and clinching the NFC South and No. 1 overall seed, making the Bucs-Saints outcome meaningless for N.O.

I know everyone assumes the defending SB champ Saints are going to roll in this one. In fact, the line is currently at -10.5 Saints. And yes, they probably are going to win. But don't be surprised if Seattle doesn't only easily cover the spread, but possibly look like its capable of winning this game. I don't want to over-rate Seattle based on one impressive win over the Rams. Yeah, the Seahawks have had some stinkers this year. But it's clear that this is a whole different team with a different mentality, and it's also clear that they recognize how big this moment is given that dominating "win-to-get-in" St. Louis victory. They will come out with some fight, absolutely. The crowd will be deafening, it'll possibly be cold and rainy, and the Saints haven't had to win very many do-or-die, crappy-weather road games where they can't even hear themselves think. N.O.'s superior talent and edge in big-game experience will likely give them a win here (Drew Brees is quite unflappable), but I do not expect it to be a cakewalk.

NFC - No. 6 Green Bay Packers (10-6) at No. 3 Philadelphia Eagles (10-6), Sunday, 4:30 p.m. EST, FOX

I'll try not to let my Eagle fan-dom influence me here (in fact I can honestly say that it won't). Why you ask? Because I'm not all that confident that the Eagles will win this game. It's not reverse psychology either, so you can throw that theory out the window. It's actually simple. Whenever I'm predicting who might win a game, I usually examine the most recent performances by the two teams, unless there are some other mitigating or extenuating circumstances going on that warrant being mentioned.

So let's go back and look at the last two games for each of these teams. The Eagles dropped a 14-13 decision to Dallas in a Week 17 game where the Birds were mostly resting key starters. So that's not terrible. But I'll tell you what WAS terrible. Philly's 24-14 loss five days prior to the Vikings at the Linc. Not the kind of note you want to go out on when the next time your starters all take the field will be in a playoff game against a team that beat you on that very same field to open the season. Now yes, these are two very different teams now. But that's not necessarily better for the Eagles. Against Minnesota, Eagles QB Michael Vick looked very un-Vick like as he was pressured all night, turned the ball over twice and generally made poor decisions. On the other side of the ball, Philly's defense made Vikings' third-stringer Joe Webb look like a young Donovan McNabb back in his glory days with the Eagles. It's not going to get any easier with this Green Bay team coming to town.

The Packers, on the other hand, scraped by division rival Chicago in a tough 10-3 victory yesterday that Green Bay needed to make the playoffs, a week after a Lambeau-Field thrashing of the N.Y. Giants to the tune of 45-17, which is way better than the Eagles did against the G-Men in either of their two wins over New York this season (you remember that 'Miracle' the Birds needed to win one of those two games?)

So it's going to be no easy task for Philly, even though they are one of the more dangerous teams in the NFL when they're clicking on all cylinders. Hopefully the rest that some of the banged-up key starters got this past weekend will show in the form of a more focused effort by the Birds. We all know how easy they can make it look when Vick uncorks a few early bombs to DeSean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin to give Philly an early 14 or 17-point lead, and then they just have to play in 'Don't eff up' mode for three quarters. On the other hand, we've all seen these games where they get off to a bad jump from the starting gun, and just can't ever seem to regain their composure.

Green Bay seems less prone to sloppy play, dumb mistakes and turning the ball over. Aaron Rodgers has the confidence of a veteran, and it's obvious his teammates love him. Defensively the Packers do have holes and I think the Birds will be able to take advantage of that, but they've also shown the ability to rise to the occasion when necessary (holding a frighteningly capable Bears offense to 3 points on Sunday - and the Bears were in that one to win it, playing all the starters for the whole game). I can see Green Bay going into the Linc and winning this one. They're playing better right now, and generally they are more disciplined and probably have an overall better defense. Certainly a better overall offensive line. Expect Vick to have to continue to run for his life back there. If Philly can put some points up early, get a lead and maintain it - that's their best shot. I'm not confident they can emerge victorious in a slug-fest where both teams are counter-punching for four quarters. And if the Eagles fall behind early? You can pretty much forget it. I am officially nervous for this game. Would much rather see Tampa Bay coming to town, or perhaps even a Giants matchup for the third time.

AFC - No. 5 Baltimore Ravens (12-4) at No. 4 Kansas City Chiefs (10-6), Sunday, 1 p.m. EST, CBS

What in hell's name was that terrible outing by the Chiefs Sunday against the Oakland Raiders in a game that KC needed to secure the No. 3 seed? That doesn't inspire confidence at all. Arrowhead Stadium will be rocking without a doubt, but Baltimore has won plenty of road playoff games the past couple of seasons. If there's any team that doesn't get intimidated easily, it's them.

Chiefs signal-caller Matt Cassel has had quite an impressive season. He'll be the key to this game. Jamaal Charles will get some yards here and there, but no back can completely dust this B'more defense. Cassel will need to get it done through the air, and that will be tough with the likes of Haloti Ngata, Ed Reed, Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs and company bearing down on a Chiefs offense that looked completely disoriented against Oakland. The fact that the Ravens' offense is quite inconsistent will keep the Chiefs in this one though. KC's run defense has shown a tendency to get burned against a solid attack, so look for Ray Rice to go nuts if Baltimore hopes to score a lot of points and put the Chiefs away in a hostile environment. The Chiefs have been a nice story this year, first playoff appearance in 8 seasons. But I think Baltimore will rise to the occasion and get it done.

AFC - No. 6 New York Jets (11-5) at No. 3 Indianapolis Colts (10-6), Saturday, 8 p.m. EST, NBC

Look out, Rex Ryan insists this is 'personal.' I remember the last time he had to repeatedly answer questions about a matter he considered to be 'personal.' I hope for his sake on Saturday night that he's not left feeling as embarrassed as he was over that other incident.

As most recall by now, this is a rematch of last year's AFC Championship game in Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, a tense affair in which the Jets hung in there, even having led by three scores at one point in the first half, until Peyton Manning, as he so often does, found a way to solve that defense and guide the Colts to their second Super Bowl appearance in four seasons.

It was a tough loss for the Jets, who looked for all the world at halftime of that game like they could be playing for a Super Bowl.

Well, the way things have unraveled for the Jets this year hasn't been as fortuitous. After a 9-2 start in their first 11 games, they were routed on national TV in a highly anticipated Monday Night Football showdown in Foxboro by New England, a team the Jets defeated at the New Meadowlands earlier this year. Rex Ryan's crew proceeded to go 2-2 in their last four games to grab the final wild card spot when it looked after 11 games like they may have a shot at a No. 1 or No. 2 seed and a first-round bye. My how quickly the tide can turn.

Meanwhile, the Colts have struggled mightily this year. There they stood at 6-6 after 12 games, with a lot of folks writing them out of the playoffs, saying they were done. So they rattled off four straight wins, three of them against AFC South foes, to remove any doubt and earn themselves a seemingly improbable No. 3 seed (thanks to KC's meltdown against Oakland).

No question that Indy has all the momentum heading into this one. But the Jets do have a ton of talent, and came damn near close to pulling off an unlikely road win against the Bears in Chicago a couple weeks back, falling 38-34.

It seems fairly straightforward here. If the Jets can look at last year's AFC title game as a template and figure out how to best Manning, they certainly have a shot. Indy's defense is capable, but not outstanding, so the Jets can and should put points on the board. Obviously, they also need to avoid dumb mistakes (penalties, turnovers, special teams lapses, etc.) for which they've shown a tendency at times. But the real key matchup here is Colts' O vs. Jets' D. Can Rex Ryan's defensive unit keep Peyton off the field as much as possible, and minimize those long, sustained drives that inevitably chew up 5-6 minutes and result in 6 points for Indy. The Jets will certainly have to be creative, mix up their blitz packages and schemes to throw Manning off. It will be much easier if they can get penetration and rattle Manning into making quick, ill-advised decisions. But that's much easier said than done, considering that the Colts' offensive line protects Manning much in the same way that Andy Reid protects his cookie jar.

It pains me to say it, but it feels like Indy is going to move on (hope I'm wrong). It could be by a razor-thin margin, but the Colts have been clicking lately (four straight wins), and shown the ability to win a close one on their own field not even 24 hours ago (even though it was against Tennessee, which was actually playing quite well). The Jets have looked more like their season has been one of lots of talk and potential, but not enough actual impressive results. Let's see if they can win a tough game, do-or-die style, on the road against a wily veteran, one of the best quarterbacks of his generation, in the playoffs, in a loud stadium. If they can do that, I, and others, will officially believe they've regained their mojo - at least temporarily.

Save the Celebration for when it Really Counts

2010-12-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, first off, I'm a bit of a curmudgeon. I will openly admit that. Some see pessimism as a negative world view, but I merely categorize it as a necessary checkpoint for properly managing expectations. Because if you expect that things are going to go the way you want them to for the most part, you're expecting incorrectly.

This is why, as an Eagles fan, I'm trying to maintain some modicum of perspective regarding Philadelphia's highly improbably 38-31 come-from-behind win over the N.Y. Giants at the Meadowlands yesterday, a game that was crucially important for both teams coming in with a 9-4 record and tied for first place in the NFC East Division standings. Oh, and this makes it a season sweep for the Birds over the Giants, and marks the sixth consecutive victory for Philly over New York. Oh, and this is the second Eagles-Giants game in a row where the G-Men looked for all the world like they had it all wrapped up, only to piss it away in the final moments. Oh, and the Giants held a 31-10 lead with just under 8 minutes remaining, and the Eagles capped off this seemingly fictional comeback with a DeSean Jackson 65-yard punt return with less than 10 seconds on the clock when all that New York's punter had to do was kick the Godforsaken football out of bounds.

Sounds like it must feel pretty damn good to be an Eagles fan right now, huh? Okay. Fine. It feels pretty good. TODAY it does.

I would argue that by tomorrow, it shouldn't feel so great anymore, because the Birds haven't won anything in the 2010-11 season yet. Haven't clinched the division title, haven't even clinched a playoff spot. Yes, the last two games will be played within the comfortable confines of The Linc, against Minnesota and then Dallas (which is playing much better since the Wade Phillips firing). But if the Giants beat the Packers in Green Bay next Sunday, they're in the playoffs. And I don't know about any other Eagles fans, but as I live and breathe, I want NO part of the New York football Giants a third time this year, and you shouldn't either.

Look, I recognize that it's nice to be able to enjoy the kind of moment that occurred yesterday. You don't get them often, no matter who you root for. But I would hate to think the team, and the fans, and pretty much everyone pulling for the boys in green, are lulling themselves into some false sense of confidence or security, only to be brought back to reality in the form of some unexpected thrashing in the next couple of weeks, or by the Gods, in the playoffs (let's make it there first).

As a follow-up to that point, does anyone else feel like DeSean Jackson is just pissing off the karma Gods to no end with his endzone chicanery at this point? Can someone bring this guy back down to earth? I know he's an incredibly, immensely talented player, and the Eagles are lucky to have him (they probably wouldn't be in this position right now without him). But does he really think that passing off his antics as "entertainment" is really an appropriate way to explain his behavior? Really DeSean? Do you think the mostly Giants-partisan fanbase at that game in the Meadowlands yesterday was "entertained" by your unnecessary glide across the one-inch line as one last "eff you" before waltzing into the end zone? Do you think the Dallas fans were "entertained" by your 'falling backwards' across the goal line in that road victory over the Cowboys? Do you not think all of this is going to come crashing down horribly someday in the form of some gut-wrenching disappointment the likes of which Philadelphia sports fans have never experienced? Again, call me a pessimist if you like, but the touchdown taunting B.S. can't possibly mean good things for the Birds in the long run. It just can't.

Name me the last time a memorable Super Bowl winning team or athlete bookmarked his/their accomplishment in the game of all games with some cocky gesture that still stands out today? Yeah, I can't think of that time either.

Okay, so, in review, the Eagles are a phenomenally talented team ... offensively. The defense has a LOT of holes in it (one of the last in the league statistically in red-zone situations), and the never-ending injuries on both sides of the ball aren't helping. Andy Reid still makes me want to jump through the screen and strangle him at times, like when he pocketed the red challenge flag yesterday on that OBVIOUSLY horrible call when Jackson was clearly down before the ball came out, then it was ruled a fumble and the Giants recovered. But if Michael Vick, Jackson and the rest of the offense can continue to bail out the rest of this team's inadequacies with mind-bending, incomprehensible heroics on offense (and occasionally on special teams), then God Bless. But do NOT fool yourselves, Eagles fans, into thinking this is somehow a well-rounded, powerhouse football team. Because it's not. The smoke-and-mirrors stuff they're pulling in most of their wins is highly impressive, I'll grant you that. But it feels like it's only a matter of time until the many weaknesses of the 2010-11 Eagles are exposed in the most embarrasing of ways.

Let's put it this way ... if the Eagles played that hated team from up north in Foxboro right now, it would be UGGGGLY. Did anyone see that Sunday night game against the Packers? You know, the one that we all thought would be over about halfway through the second quarter because Aaron Rodgers wasn't starting for Green Bay? Did you guys see Matt Flynn, who has less NFL experience than most third-string QBs in the league, fearlessly drive his team down the field against that Pats defense for four straight quarters, with a chance to win the game until the final ticks elapsed off the clock? Yeah, I saw it too, and also couldn't believe it. But New England found a way to win. Like they always do. Now THAT is a complete football team.

Birds fans, enjoy that "Miracle at the Meadowlands - Part Deux" that you saw yesterday. It might just be the pinnacle of the Eagles' 2010-11 season. I hope I'm wrong. But I don't think I will be unless a lot of stuff is corrected over the next few weeks. At least they are in the driver's seat for a division title and a shot at the No. 2 overall seed in the NFC. They can't blame anyone else if things don't turn out how they want.

A Bunch of Random Thoughts

2010-12-13T13:49:00.000-05:00

* The girl-on-girl scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis is only one of a few good reasons to see the new Darren Aronofsky-directed psychological mind-hump Black Swan, currently in limited release theaters but soon to expand to more screens. Overall, it's quite engrossing, mostly because of the intentionally low-budget look and feel of the film, the hand-held camera shots, the dark, grainy textures and mood scapes. Portman plays an immensely talented and technically proficient but somewhat wooden, unemotional ballet dancer, and she is selected amongst many also-talented competitors to play the role of the Swan Queen in her Lincoln Center (NYC) troupe's redux of the Tchaikovsky classic from which the movie bears its namesake. Kunis plays a hotshot, free-wheeling "colleague" of Portman's, straight off the plane from San Francisco - a confident, self-assured competitor with carry-the-room charisma who strikes up a "friendship" with Portman and ultimately is selected as the Swan Queen alternate just days before Opening Night, cementing what the protagonist perceives to have been an adversarial relationship with Kunis all along.

What happens throughout much of the flick is mind-bending. Let's just say that mental stability is not present in heaping amounts in some of the most prominently featured characters in this movie, which leads to often confusing moments for the viewer. It's kind of like - "Hey, did she just imagine that shit, or did it really just happen?" For me, it feels like a convenient "out" for Aronofsky, and/or whomever wrote this script. The lines between fantasy and reality are often blurred. If you can buy into the spirit of that construction, then rock on, you will enjoy the hell out of this movie. I thought it was kind of a cheap device at times, but again, the end result is that this is a powerful cinematic work, one that will likely leave a lasting impression of some degree, which is more than I can say for a lot of what Hollywood churns out these days.

Oh and this movie does nothing to help fight the stereotype (an untrue stereotype, of course!) that women are effing CRAZY. Same goes for the "power-abusing ballet troupe director working with young, pretty, impressionable females in a subservient position" stereotype. Worth checking out, no matter how you feel about it all afterwards.

* Just finished reading a killer novel - a true-life account of an undercover ATF agent's harrowing one-year experience infiltrating an Arizona-based Hell's Angels Motorcycle gang. The book, formerly on the New York Times bestseller list, is called "No Angel" and the agent is named Jay Dobyns. What this guy had to give up in his efforts to put a serious dent in the Hells Angels organization is mind-boggling. Rather than a story that shifts focus onto several different protagonists or characters, it shows you how Dobyns lived through all of this while juggling his personal life and relationships with colleagues who became increasingly concerned about this man's safety and well-being as he plunged deeper into the Rabbit Hole of illegal activity and self-deception.

It's a lightning-fast read. At times you might find yourself wishing that more crazy stuff is constantly happening, but don't expect every other page to be littered with tales of hot-lead shootouts, wild sex, copious drug use and salacious material in general. All of that stuff is discussed, mind you, but since this is a real-life account, you get the full truth of how these events honestly played out as Dobyns kept meticulous notes and lived this unbelievable saga 24/7 for the better part of a year. You find yourself ripping through especially as you get closer to the end to find out what the hell happened to this guy, and what the hell happened to the bad asses he was pursuing. Riveting stuff if the true-crime genre is right up your wheelhouse.

* Auburn and Oregon will play for the National College Football Championship on Monday, January 10th in Glendale, Arizona. Ho hum. The two best teams ended up with unbeaten records, so there's not as much BCS Controversy this year as in other years. But as usual, a playoff would be nice so that we could see if TCU, or Stanford, or Wisconsin, or Boise State, or any of a handful of other teams really is worthy to also be hoisting some kind of national trophy. Don't look for this to happen anytime soon, by the way. But in fairness, these are the two best teams as the 2010 season played out. Cam Newton, controversial season of his own aside, won the Heisman Trophy fittingly on Saturday night, and he did have an unfathomably eye-opening season so he deserves it. I'm going with Auburn to win this game though, and give the SEC its fifth straight national championship.

Also, for anyone who has had their eye on the Pitt Panthers this season, take note of that battering ram in the backfield wearing a No. 27 jersey. His name is Henry Hynoski, and he played high school ball at the alma mater of yours truly (Southern Columbia Area H.S. in Catawissa, Pa.). He was part of a truly special group of players that won 5 straight state championships from the fall of 2002-2006, and his work ethic and perseverance has certainly served him well as a collegiate student athlete. There's talk that he might have the tools to play at the next level, no easy feat indeed especially when you come from a formative school surrounded by corn fields. But make no mistake, Hyno is the real deal. Watching him is like looking at an offensive lineman throw blocks in the backfield and take the occasional handoff or screen pass. He never hesitates for a second to put his body in front of whatever terrifying defensive player is careening into the Pitt backfield to take the QB's head off. I like to keep an eye on Pitt and Penn State to see where the in-state Pennsylvania talent decides to go. It seems like Pitt has nabbed a lot of really strong homegrown players over the past several years. It should be interesting to see how that road turns now that Dave Wannstedt is out as head coach.

* Oh NFL, how you continue to seduce us with your crazy and wily ways. Okay, let's just all agree that the New England Patriots shouldn't necessarily be the favorite to win the Super Bowl. Yes, yes I know - they're playing the best football out of anyone right now, that's true. But I'd just like to remind us all of what happened in February of 2008 (Helmet catch, anyone?) Yeah, I know I sound like a hater. I guess I've just had enough of the Pats. I kind of wish they'd go away already, you know? Kind of like Brett Favre. But they probably aren't, I get it. Come on, let me have my wishful thinking at least.

As an Eagles fan, I'll gladly take that sometimes scary-to-watch 30-27 nipping of the hated Cowboys in Dallas last night, but that Philly defense is definitely suspect. It's not one of the best in the league even when it's 100 percent healthy, which it is currently not. Next Sunday the Birds (9-4) go to the Meadowlands to battle the Giants (8-4), with whom they may share the same record pending the outcome of tonight's New York-Minnesota showdown. Not going to be easy, especially considering the Eagles won a nail-biter over the Giants at the Linc a few weeks back.

All I know is that it's really a shame that somebody has to win the putrid NFC West, meaning that a deserving team (Green Bay, Tampa Bay, possibly even the Giants or Eagles) will be left on the outside looking in come playoff time. Kind of a crime, actually. The next three weeks will certainly be high on the NFL drama.

And if you're a Jets fan who was soaring on confidence as recently as three weeks ago, you have to be re-examining your entire outlook on the 2010 season for Rex Ryan and company. The Monday Night thrashing at the hands of the Patriots last week isn't even all that unbelievable considering what that team has done lately, although it was still quite humbling because of all the national hype and so forth. But that 10-6 loss to Miami at the Meadowlands yesterday? Ouch. The Jets should have come out and beaten the pants off that team, using that national Foxboro embarrassment as motivation to dig deep and find out what they've really got in the tank. But nope - the often confused, seemingly offensively directionless Dolphins, with the sometimes hapless Chad Henne at the helm, beat the Jets. Yikes. Jets will probably still make the playoffs, but some serious issues need to be addressed to avoid an early exit. And believe me I hope they get it together. I would much rather see them than the Patriots come out of the AFC East to do some real playoff damage.

If You Can't Stand the Heat ...

2010-12-02T16:31:00.001-05:00

... then you're one of many. Also, get out of the kitchen.

The kitchen will be rocking tonight in Cleveland when LeBron James and the Miami Heat return to the city that the star player spurned for greener pastures (or so we thought) back in July, announcing one of the most landmark offseason NBA moves in the league's history.

Of course, what's memorable isn't just the fact that James was switching teams - we all pretty much knew he probably wasn't going back to Cleveland after the end of last season. It had more to do with how James chose to carry out his decision to "take his talents to South Beach." In a live, one-hour primetime televised special when the only significant competing event might have been a baseball game, or a re-run of CSI or something. Yes, it was on this grandest of stages that James chose to rip out the hearts of Cleveland sports fans everywhere.

Okay, that's one way to look at it. That's how Cleveland fans look at it. My view has always been that they need to get it together, and that they should have seen this coming. Sure, doesn't make it any easier, but it's clear some sort of shake-up needed to happen if James or the Cavs were ever going to win a championship. It didn't work out. We all know the ins-and-outs of it by now - no need to rehash it all.

But what has been significant is the surprisingly slow start out of the gate that Miami has experienced in the early going here. They're 11-8, and not even in first place in their division. It's one of the most heaped-upon, discussed sports stories of the past several weeks (well, at least since the 2010-11 NBA season began). Why aren't they whipping up on everyone? What's with the chemistry problems? Why can't LeBron and Dwayne Wade complement each other on the court? Will this team even win one NBA title, let alone multiples?

So many questions. And the crowd in Cleveland tonight will be in full-on "Eff you, LeBron!" mode, without a doubt. I'm just not sure we'll see the kind of defining moment that everyone is hoping for (or thinking might happen). It will be entertaining, the crowd will be obnoxious, but ultimately, this is going to be another forgettable NBA game between two teams that are most likely not winning a championship this year (well, Cleveland definitely won't be. Jury's still out on the Heat, although it's not looking great for them).

It's just funny. We judge athletes, anyone famous really, by the standards we want them to have. LeBron is no different in our eyes. We think, well, he has ridiculous, unspeakable physical gifts on the basketball court. Therefore, he should dominate like Jordan did in the 90s. Like Kobe is now. It just doesn't seem right otherwise. We can't wrap our head around LeBron's legacy, who he is as a person right now, and it's messing with us big-time. Why is this guy so good but he can't be on a title-winning team? What's important to him? What does he value? Does he want to be a global icon, or a multiple-ring winner, or both? Is he more concerned with his name branding, or the brand name of the jeweler who'll be crafting his championship ring? Does he have the mental toughness that's necessary to lead himself and his teammates to the promised land?

None of us know the answers to any of this. All we know right now is that this 25-year-old kid has immense skills on the basketball court, but seems to lack the ultra-competitive, killer instinct gene present in Jordan and Kobe. You know, the same gene that makes most of us say - "Wow, those guys seem like real dicks sometimes, but they won't settle for anything less than winning at all costs."

The Heat have a lot of talent, but they lack a ton of qualities needed for a championship (a veteran coach, leader-type players who've won multiple titles before, a bona fide big man in the low-post, chemistry). You get the idea. It's just amazing how these things can be so hard to predict. Cleveland won more games than anyone else last year in the regular season, and by the time they were ousted from the playoffs, we were thinking "How the hell did anyone think that team was going to win a championship?" Then, LeBron, Wade and Bosh team up on the same squad, and we're all immediately handing over the championship hardware to them. It's nuts.

For the record, Boston, the Lakers and San Antonio are the best teams right now. I'll be very surprised if one of them doesn't end up winning the title, but it's certainly early and a lot can happen between now and June.

I'll be glued to the set tonight like a lot of others, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not as epic an event as we'd all like to believe. This is mostly about some unsettled 'score' between one talented hometown hero and his bitter fan base. It's a sad, tense relationship that will probably never be resolved, but shouldn't be this contentious in the first place.

Everyone needs to just move on.

Where Have all the Good Teams Gone?

2010-11-14T08:56:00.000-05:00

Friends, Van Halen might ask you - particularly if it were 1978 - Where Have all the Good Times Gone?

My question to the many rabid consumers of the National Football League's product, however, is 'Where have all the Good TEAMS gone?'

We weren't even halfway through the regular season by the time we were all out of unbeaten teams. And the last unbeaten team left this year? The Kansas City Chiefs! Not the Colts, or the Patriots, or the Steelers. The Dad-blasted CHIEFS! Indy lost its season opener to the Houston Texans for chrissakes. The Dallas Cowboys? That team that had the best shot of any so far to actually host the Super Bowl because they were supposed to be so 'unbeatable' this year? Yeah, they just fired head coach Wade Phillips after a 1-7 start.

So what, I ask you, in the name of all that is righteous and just in this world, is happening in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!? You like parity. Yeah, we got your parity right here, tough guy! No unbeatens left. No one-loss teams left either. In fact, here we are at the halfway mark of the regular season, and we only have five teams with two losses (NY Giants, Atlanta, NY Jets, New England, Pittsburgh). Even more looney tunes than that is the fact that are no less than 7 different 3-loss teams that are totally legit Super Bowl contenders, even though they've looked like far less than such at various points this year (Philadelphia, Green Bay, New Orleans, Baltimore, Indy, Tennessee, K.C.).

There are a boatload of Super Bowl matchup possibilities right now. So why in the name of Lindsay Lohan's parole officer would I ever try to guess how things are going to play out? It's going to be plain meaningless, I tell you. Right? Well, maybe. But there's always a chance! (I'm like Lloyd Christmas in 'Dumb & Dumber').

My preseason Super Bowl pick was Green Bay-Baltimore. Not impossible by any means, but in this free-for-all season, why should that pick have any more credibility right now than, say, Giants-Patriots, or Eagles-Steelers? It shouldn't! But based on what I've observed this year, plus history, my impression is as follows.

NFC - Most consistent team in the NFC has apparently been the New York Football Giants. They don't play stupid and they don't beat themselves. I would love to believe the Eagles have a shot at winning the division - which they do. But how strong are their chances of actually pulling this off? I think we'll learn a lot after Monday night's Eagles-Redskins matchup in D.C. Last month, Donovan McNabb and the 'Skins came to Philly and stole away a victory. The other best teams in the NFC appear to be Green Bay, Atlanta and New Orleans. The defending Super Bowl champ Saints have visibly struggled at times this year, but they're built for a championship run as long as they stay healthy. NFC title game pick, at gunpoint? Yeesh. Not easy, but I'm going to say Giants vs. Atlanta or Green Bay. Sorry I have to worm out of that pick with an 'or' qualifier, but it's just way too difficult to call where we stand now. With that in mind, I do think Atlanta is the hotter team right now. Giants-Falcons.

AFC - It's going to be a knock-down, drag-out, UFC-style brawl to see who's going to emerge as top dog in the AFC. There are literally 8 teams that can push for/make it into the AFC championship. Just look at the record of the top two teams in each of the four divisions of the AFC and you'll see what I mean. It's insane. But again, I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are a cut above everyone else right now. In fact, if I absolutely had to name a favorite at this point in time, I'm going with Big Ben and Co. (as long as they stay away from underage girls in nightclubs at 2 a.m.). Sorry Steelers fans, I had to. Anyway, who will be the last two squads standing the AFC? Pittsburgh will be one of them. An AFC East team will probably be the other one. Jets or Patriots, methinks. Tonight's Steelers-Patriots showdown might be huge in determining how things will play out. My heart says Steelers-Jets for the AFC title game. But my brain says Steelers-Patriots (I'd much rather see the Jets. Like most people, I'm flat-out sick of the Pats and all the goddamn Tom Brady adulation. I'm also sick of his Justin Bieber haircut).

So there we have it. I could be completely missing the mark here, folks, and I'll be the first to admit it. The way this season is going, I wouldn't even be all that shocked to see a Kansas City-Chicago Super Bowl. Have fun - the next few months will be exciting for sure.

Into the Great Wide Open

2010-11-13T09:58:00.000-05:00

Holy Cow has this been a weird football season, for both the NFL and college ranks.

I can’t remember when I’ve ever been this far into a season and still had no real certifiable gauge on who the best teams really are. Yeah sure, we’ve got our list of usual suspects (Steelers, Patriots in the NFL, and a few others – more on the Pros in the next entry), but even the best of the best are nowhere near as invincible as they seem in other years.

This is no more apparent anywhere than in Division I college football (I refuse to start calling it ‘FBS’ – that stupid acronym that took the place of ‘Division I-A’ a few years ago even though nobody officially seemed to tell anyone else. I don’t even know what FBS stands for. I would have to google it to find out. And that, my friends, is a problem).

Back on track – the top two teams in the country, as of the latest BCS standings, are Oregon and Auburn. Who’s holding tight at Nos. 3 and 4? TCU and Boise State. What the Word-that-rhymes-with-truck is that all about? Even the one SEC team that’s in the top two right now isn’t a name that’s usually in the “national title contender” conversation. It’s truly a wide open year, and the craziest thing is that Boise State might still go undefeated, having won each game handily, and still get left out in the cold in a season when all of the ‘big-name’ programs (i.e. Florida, Texas, Alabama, USC, Ohio State, etc.) may very well not make the championship game. Don’t you love it? Either that, or it makes you want to hurl something through a plate-glass window.

And the most recent brouhaha that has the college football world abuzz centers on Auburn quarterback Cam Newton, who apparently may have accepted a few hundred thousand dollars worth of ‘pot-sweetener’ to name the university of his choice. No allegations have been proven yet, but it certainly wouldn’t be unthinkable for some schools out there to shelve a player simply for the black cloud that such rumblings bring along. I doubt we’ll see that happen with the Tigers, who haven’t been this close to a national championship game in decades. Newton would have to be exposed beyond a shadow of a doubt before we see him get benched, considering the Heisman-like performance he’s had this year.

Oregon has the best shot of making the title game. They’re at the top of the pile and they control their own destiny. They’ve got the most favorable schedule and an absolutely insanely prolific offense, which means their defense doesn’t even need to be fantastic – merely serviceable – in order for them to keep winning games. TCU and Boise State are lurking at 3 and 4 – boy, wouldn’t it be mind-boggling to see a school from a non-automatic BCS qualifying conference make it into the championship game.

But don’t be at all surprised if any one of a handful of one-loss major-conference schools hovering right behind TCU and Boise – such as LSU, Stanford, Wisconsin, Nebraska or Ohio State – leapfrog the Horned Frogs and Broncos into the title game to face either Auburn or Oregon.

Then we’d have the same old up-in-arms story. The same old arguments. The same controversy. Some would say that’s a big element of what makes this sport so much fun and so enthralling. Others would say it’s a huge part of what makes it maddeningly frustrating and impossible for less-than-major schools to fairly win a championship.

Good or bad, I say it’s a little bit of both.

Losing the Phight

2010-10-24T01:45:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have a few rules in life.

Never play poker with a guy whose first name is the same as a city.

Never text photos of your junk to anyone at any time, unless you can always say you'll be proud whenever this comes up as a topic of conversation.

Never overdo it at a Mexican buffet style restaurant unless the restroom situation consists of one men's room and a separate women's room, with at least 2 or 3 private stalls in each (one unisex, locked-door bathroom for the entire place is a definite red flag).

And finally, always try go on the record when a Philadelphia sports team loses in the postseason.

For the third straight season, the Philadelphia Phillies made it to the National League Championship Series. And for the only time in those 3 years, they lost. Wait, let me take a moment for that to sink in. Three straight NLCS appearances. For the Phillies! That's effin' crazy! It's still hard for me to comprehend that they did this, let alone the fact that they were world champions just two years ago. It's insane-o.

Okay, I know that the fans have adjusted their expectations accordingly, and that plenty of them were fully expecting the Phightins' to make it back to the Fall Classic for the third consecutive year. But in reality, who the hell is anyone to think this was a lock? Yes, yes it sounds like a lot of pandering, and being satisfied with 'just having gotten this far.' But go ahead and do some quick research to find out how often it happens that any team, including the Yankees, experiences the kind of 3-year run the Phillies just had. Go on. Do the knowledge. No rush. Yes. You'll find that it doesn't happen that often.

So yes, the result is disappointing for Phillies fans. Yes, the San Francisco Giants seemed, on the surface, to be the inferior overall team heading into this series. But I can't imagine how difficult it must be to remain on top of the world and keep prevailing in these tense postseason clashes when so many other talented, determined, and even hungrier clubs are out there taking their best crack at you. You're not going to win them all. By the way, Philly's best power hitter, Ryan Howard, had zero RBIs in this postseason. And yet this team had a chance to win this game right up until the last pitch of Game 6 in the NLCS? That's just batty. I tip my cap to the Giants. To detract from them or just blame it all on the Phillies' inadequacies is insulting, and I can't bring myself to do it.

This is just how the game breaks down sometimes. I'll still take this over an 80-82 season and being mathematically eliminated from playoff contention in mid-August.

Am I the best gauge for this? Maybe I'm not, if you're looking at this from the hardcore sports fan's perspective. Oh I love sports, believe you me. Ask anyone who knows me, my stamina and ability to endure seemingly endless hours of televised sporting events is almost incomprehensible. Especially when it's the playoffs and stakes are high. But it's hard not to respect what the Phillies have accomplished as an organization big-picture wise over the last 3-4 years. Go back before 2007, and it was a completely different franchise. It's been nice to watch the transformation, and hopefully continued winning seasons are ahead.

For the 2010 season, the Phight is over. But let the San Francisco Giants and Texas Rangers go at it in a World Series matchup that might be short on TV ratings, but will certainly be high on drama. Texas hadn't won a postseason series prior to 2010 in their 50-year franchise history. The Giants? Yeah, no World Series title for them since 1954, back when they were still a New York ball club. If you're a fan of sports and you can't get somewhat excited for this series, then I just don't know what to tell you.

Stuff That I'm Digging Right Now

2010-09-26T14:25:00.000-04:00

Alrighty constituents - here's what's cool, so you should pay attention.

- The first half of 2010 in the cinema world was, how shall I say it ... well, if we're comparing it to cuisine, let's agree that it was not "restaurant quality." The past couple of months have shown much more promise. There's a lot of stuff out now that I'd love to see but haven't. However, "The Town" did not slip past the goalie, and my mission was to make sure I didn't sleep on this one in the thee-ay-tur. Kiddies, this flick was bad-ass. Ben Affleck has been mostly a punchline for the past decade or so after the early part of his career (90s) showed such promise. But he's reinvented his image as a solid director, first with 2006's "Gone Baby Gone." "The Town" only further cements his reputation behind the camera lens. He also co-wrote the movie and stars in it, and did an above-average job in those departments as well. It's a gritty, pull-no-punches look at Charlestown (South Boston) bank robbers, and an FBI task force team, led by 'Mad Men' superstar Jon Hamm, trying to bust the bad boys. There's also a romance angle sprinkled in (Rebecca Hall plays the manager of the bank robbed in the opening scene), but not done in a turn-your-stomach sort of way.

The performances are top notch, and both the dialogue and pacing move quickly enough to make the two-plus hours fly by. Keep an eye on Jeremy Renner as the quick-tempered, downright frightening best friend of Affleck's character. He rocks the role like no other. If I had to nit-pick, there are some minor logic flaws with the plot here and there, and some of the action scenes (see the requisite 'car chase' scene that must be present in EVERY action flick) are maybe a shade less than wholly believable. But not to an egregious degree. And it's done in such a stylized, adrenaline-pumping manner that it can be largely overlooked. Put it this way - it didn't affect my enjoyment of the film, and if anyone is quick to bag on most forms of entertainment for coloring liberally outside the lines of plausibility, it's yours truly.

- Original entertainment on TV is as good now as it's ever been. Remember a time, you know 15 or more years ago, when network TV was the only place to see shows? Fortunately, it's not like that now. HBO and Showtime have both been killing it for years. I don't subscribe to Showtime, so I can only speak for HBO from personal experience, but with shows like "Treme," "Eastbound and Down," "The Life and Times of Tim," "Bored to Death," "Curb Your Enthusiasm," the brand-new and brilliant "Boardwalk Empire" and "True Blood" (which I don't even watch), there's something for everyone. If you haven't checked out "Boardwalk Empire" yet, HBO's newest dramatic offering with Steve Buscemi as the lead character playing the corrupt treasurer of Atlantic City in 1920 during the start of the Prohibition Era, do yourself a favor and check it out. If you don't get HBO, try to find a free viewing online or something. Smart, sleek, beautifully shot and highly entertaining. Martin Scorcese directed the premiere episode, which plays out like a sweeping mini-film at one hour and 15 minutes. He's set the bar high for his successors come future episodes.

Meanwhile, AMC's two hallmark programs, "Breaking Bad" and "Mad Men," only continue to get better. They keep it humming, believe that. Mad Men has been 'off-the-charts' enthralling in this fourth season. Watching it just reinforces the notion that Don Draper (the aforementioned Jon Hamm) should have split with that selfish wet blanket Betty a LONG time ago so that he could make Don Draper mistakes and live the Don Draper lifestyle. Over the past couple of episodes he's begun to get himself together, cutting back on the drinking and appearing to attempt some form of a committed relationship with new Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Pryce market research expert Dr. Faye. And the continued exploration of a quickly maturing yet still confused Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) has provided for some great moments this season also, especially as the relationship between Peggy and Don continues to take bold turn after turn (see 'The Suitcase' - one of the best episodes ever). Can't wait to see what develops over these last five installments of Season Four. You know there will be some sort of major cliffhanger to keep us all amped up for the next season. Oh, and, whose heart wasn't bleeding for poor Sally Draper after this past episode. Sure she acted out and was a brat at the end, but if YOU were 10 years old and had Betty Draper for a mom, I don't think you'd be pleased as punch about it either.

- Why can't music like this be made these days?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCnebZnysmI

Literally, are there ANY bands out there now that just plug in and play, and let their raw musicianship and energy carry them to stardom?

Deep Purple was one of the greats of all time, so it's hard to live up to performances like this. But rock musicians of the world - please, a little more effort. Thanks, and stuff. By the way, pay special attention to the drumming on this track. Ian Paice is one of the all-time best, and that's my word. His break beat fills during the verses are insane, but on top of that, even his simple beat-keeping during the main riff stands out - lots of pop-and-snap on the snare and cymbals to keep the song moving along like a locomotive. Good, good, good times.

Football stuffage is comin' at you next.

College Pigskin - What a Weekend

2010-09-13T00:04:00.000-04:00

Holy leaping lizards and downtrodden Broncos (of the Boise State variety, not Denver).

September 11th, 2010 may be remembered as a landmark Saturday in the college football world. A lot of teams either grew up or got smacked down, at least in terms of their national title hopes (see Boise State). Okay, so the Broncos haven't officially been eliminated from national championship contention, but it doesn't help that their Labor Day victory over Virginia Tech - which seemed like it would be their shiniest badge of honor during an unlikely title run - was essentially negated with the Hokies' stunning 21-16 upset loss against in-state little brother rival James Madison Saturday. JMU doesn't even compete in Division I-A, and Boise State's remaining schedule is packed mostly with zeros rather than heroes.

Michigan catapulted itself into the Top 25 (No. 20) with a splendiferous (that's right, I said it!) and stupefying 28-24, last-minute triumph over the Fighting Irish in a packed house at Notre Dame. Sophomore QB Denard Robinson, with over 500 yards of all-purpose offense, was the key reason. It looks like Rich Rodriguez has found the perfect signal-caller for his spread offense. The lean times in Ann Arbor may be over, at least for a little while.

So many great games happening, but one of the other bullet-point mentionables is No. 1 Alabama running roughshod over No. 18 Penn State in Tuscaloosa. The Nittany Lions just didn't have the firepower to compete with the Crimson Tide, even though 'Bama was short by two top players (one of which was 2009 Heisman Trophy winning running back Mark Ingram). Elsewhere, No. 2 Ohio State maintained its hold on the second spot in the rankings with a 36-24 win against No. 12 Miami (Fla.), a game that received a decent amount of attention as a rematch of that thrilling, controversy-marred national championship game from the 2002 season. Well, the Buckeyes took care of business again, forcing Hurricanes QB Jacory Harris into 4 interceptions. Two of Miami's TDs came on special teams (punt return and kickoff return).

No. 3 Boise State sat idle, no doubt disbelieving its misfortune by the hand of VTU's incomprehensible loss. No. 4 TCU blasted Tennessee Tech, 62-7, and No. 7 Oregon struggled early at Tennessee before cruising to a 48-13 win, bumping the Ducks up to No. 5. That's your top 5 in the new AP poll, kiddos. Slots 6-10 belong to Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa and Florida, respectively. All of them won convincingly.

Remember haters of the current system - every weekend is a playoff. Oh and uh, the idea of Reggie Bush giving back his Heisman is laughable. NCAA, you are often ridiculous and nobody really takes you seriously, just so you know.

I got your NFL right here, tough guy!

2010-09-08T07:44:00.001-04:00

Other than being able to say you were right or wrong, predictions don’t mean a dad-gum thing. But they’re fun, so let’s rock’n’roll.

It also probably warrants mentioning that the two major lingering, hotbed NFL offseason storylines – Ben Roethlisberger and Darrelle Revis – have been resolved before 2010’s season has officially kicked off. Star cornerback Revis earlier this week signed a 4-year, $32 million contract with the NY Jets after a several-week holdout as a result of him having outperformed his contract, and Roethlisberger’s six-game suspension, handed down by the NFL due to a young woman’s sexual assault allegations against ‘Big Ben,’ was reduced to four games. Is there anyone who’s even mildly surprised about this?

Here’s a quick peek at the divisions.

NFC East – This division is always a meat-grinder, perhaps more so than any of the rest. Donovan McNabb is now with Washington, and the Eagles have Kevin Kolb taking over as a first-year starter. The Dallas Cowboys shouldn’t have any major dropoff in quality, but watch out for the N.Y. Giants. They’ll quietly go about their business and save their energy for when they need it most. I’d like to believe the Eagles can win this division, but they’re a little young this year, and Kolb will probably need at least one full season to develop into a confident leader and dependable winner.

NFC West – What can anyone say? The NFC West is sort of a joke. In fact, I find it regretful that I’ve already written three sentences about it. People are buzzing about San Fran again, like they do every year. Why not, I say. Nobody else looks better. Arizona is done (Kurt Warner has retired, Anquan Boldin is gone); Seattle has question marks, like always (Pete Carroll is unproven as a head NFL coach); and St. Louis, despite the promise and potential of Sam Bradford at QB, is still going to stumble worse than Snooki after 3 Irish car bombs.

NFC North – Green Bay seems like they’re on a mission. Aaron Rodgers is an awesome QB, point blank. People think this team could be the NFC’s Super Bowl rep. Favre is back for the Vikings after his annual ‘Will I or won’t I’ soap opera B.S., but top receiver Sidney Rice is done for half the year, and Percy Harvin might not be able to get a-‘head’ if his migraines don’t clear up. That offensive line looks somewhat questionable too. Don’t expect the Minnesota of 2010 to be the Minnesota of 2009. The Bears and Lions will finish third and fourth, not necessarily in that order (but probably).

NFC South – Saints or Falcons? Conventional wisdom suggests it will be one of them winning this division. I can’t imagine New Orleans being any less effective than last year, except that this time they’ll have the old bulls-eye on their backs as the defending Super Bowl champs. Atlanta was surprisingly mediocre last year, but a lot of the ‘experts’ are looking for a rebound from them now. Carolina and Tampa Bay should be where we think they will (sitting at home during the playoffs).

----------------

AFC East – Holy crap is there going to be some knock-down, drag-out fights to win this division. Expectations for the Jets have never been so high. The Patriots are still the Patriots (in other words, you’d be stupid to count them out), and the 2009 Dolphins were perhaps the best team ever to lose more than 6 games in a season. It’s really anyone’s guess, but it feels like the Jets or Pats will likely take the crown. Sorry Bills. You’re still inept (not really a newsflash, am I right?)

AFC West – Much like the NFC West, not a strong field here. But San Diego is probably the best team, even if not by a long shot. There’s some optimism amongst Raiders fans, what with a new quarterback and all (it’s Jason Campbell folks, not Peyton Manning). Plus you have Al Davis manning the ship, which is basically a kiss of death to every season that passes by with him at the helm. Denver will be feisty, but they don’t feel like championship material. And some say watch out for KC this year, but I’m not buying that either. Chargers are still the team to beat here. In fact, I’m thinking that losing LaDainian Tomlinson will actually make them better.

AFC North – Everyone loves the Baltimore Ravens here. In fact, don’t sleep on that Ravens-Jets 7 p.m. Monday night game. Should be a doozy (perhaps a preview of the AFC title game?) The Steelers will still need work to be put away, but if they start weak without Big Ben through the first 4 games they may not recover. Don’t think Cincinnati will do this year what they did in ’09. As usual, the Cleveland Browns are the division doormat.

AFC South – This is a quietly tough, competitive division. This current regime of the Indy Colts will always be the favorite, but don’t forget how much momentum the Tennessee Titans had to finish out ’09. Wouldn’t be shocking to see them return to their 2008 form (in other words, a playoff team). Jacksonville gives good fight, but they won’t actually threaten for a division crown or playoff spot. Houston is another annual ‘bandwagon’ team, except that it always seems to turn out that the wagon is made of straw and not steel.

Happy pigskin in 2010. I’ll be keeping up on it just like you will, fo’ sure.

You mean … football is back?!

2010-09-06T23:45:00.001-04:00

Hell yes, kids. Real, meaningful football (not the ‘preseason’ stuff) is officially upon us, as of last Thursday. Three days from now Minnesota and New Orleans will clash in The Big Easy, a rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game, to kick off the 2010 NFL season.

In the meantime, a full weekend of college football has passed us by, and as is always the case, it’s awesome to have it back again. You know how sometimes you wish you could have more of something that you really like but can’t control? But then the next time you experience that thing after a long wait, you realize how much more you appreciate it as a result of having gone without? That’s kind of how I feel this weekend every year. Football just wouldn’t be the same if it was somehow staggered within its different levels (i.e. pro, college, high-profile high school games) so that it was ALWAYS being played.

To that end, we didn’t have a whole lot of shocking upsets to kick things off this year. Perhaps most notably, unranked Utah squeezed past No. 15 Pittsburgh 27-24 in overtime Thursday in Salt Lake in a tense, exciting clash that felt very much like it could have been a bowl game.

It’s never easy to start your season on the road, and that stadium was LOUD and fired up for the Utes to pull out the win. The Panthers come into 2010 with big expectations. Last year they won more games than any Pitt team since 1981 (when a guy by the name of Dan Marino was their QB). And now just one game in, their national title hopes are essentially dashed. Tough stuff.

Another dramatic moment of the opening CFB season came when No. 21 LSU barely hung on to beat No. 18 suspension-ravaged North Carolina. Considering the disciplinary action, the Tigers probably should have cruised, but the game was in Chapel Hill, so that always makes things a tad more difficult. The Tarheels had a chance to tie and possibly win on the last couple of plays as their final two TD pass attempts from inside the red zone fell incomplete. It was interesting to see the Replacements give it such the old ‘College Try’ and almost succeeding.

But the crown jewel of the opening weekend came Monday night on Labor Day - and this opening CFB weekend saved the best for last. No. 3 Boise State showed why it belongs in the national championship discussion with a donnybrook of a 33-30 victory over No. 10 Virginia Tech in front of a largely Hokies-partisan crowd at Fed Ex Field in Landover, Md. (Washington Redskins’ home field). The Broncos jumped out to a 17-0 first-quarter lead, squandered it and then fought tooth and nail to win this contest, which it so desperately needed to do to remain a national title contender. It doesn’t help that BSU is likely to only play one more ranked team in the regular season (Oregon State). I don’t want to revisit the tired old “playoff vs. bowl season” discussion, but I think we can all agree that we hope not to see Boise get screwed should they go undefeated. Weekly drama in this crazy-arse Division I-A world of college football.

Consider the Bells Rocked

2010-08-29T19:30:00.001-04:00

Are you a fan of supremely good, old-school hip hop? Of course you are, silly! Why? Because you like stuff that’s awesome. Hence, you should know that Saturday’s 2010 Rock The Bells Concert on Governor’s Island in New York was off the chain like hot propane.

A friend, his girlfriend and I converged on the event in the early afternoon on a beautiful but hot August day and braved an herb-laced, enthusiastic crowd to hear some of the art form’s great luminaries put it down on stage, and the microphone was smoking my friends, much like the flavored blunts that seemed to surround us at every head turn (Drugs are bad, mkay?)

For real, one wouldn’t need to hit the herbals to be having a good time at Rock the Bells. Check out this killer lineup – we were entertained by the likes of Slick Rick, Rakim, KRS-One (the Teacha!), the rarely seen-or-heard-from Lauryn Hill (didn’t live up to expectations, more on this in a bit), A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan (all of them showed up!) and finally, the headliner, Snoop D-O double Gizzy representing the Left Coast with his Dogg Pound Crew.

It was a general admission free-for-all, standing on the lawn all the live-long hot day, but there were food/beverage stands aplenty and areas to relax far away from the stage. Admittedly I didn’t want to miss much of it though, and fortunately I didn’t.

All acts except L. Hill were on fire, on point with the lyrical delivery and they didn’t ‘eff’ with the arrangements. Here’s where Hill comes in. Her return to the stage was much anticipated, but unfortunately she performed seemingly all of her songs in this crazy sped-up, hyper, manic musical style with a full, loud live band behind her that didn’t please most of us sonically. It was as if she had done 10 lines of coke before coming out on stage and didn’t know how to rein it in. Her voice is an amazing, powerful instrument, but it didn’t have any room to breathe or stand out. Fifteen years ago, she had the potential to be the closest thing to a modern-day Diana Ross or Whitney Houston. Two albums with the Fugees and a brilliant solo album later, we barely heard from her again for a combination of reasons. So the expectations were high. She should have used her voice more and the band less. What I wouldn’t have given to hear her do that acapella version of ‘Killing Me Softly’ from Dave Chappelle’s Block Party -- hauntingly beautiful. Oh yeah, and she took the stage almost an hour later than she was supposed to.

So in summary, if you’re a highly respected hip hop artist and your material was hot on cassette/CD when you put it out years ago, don’t fix what isn’t broken. Just come out and let it sound close enough to the original album for recognition. That’s why we fell in love with you in the first place and bought the ticket, dumb-dumb.

As for those that kept it real, Rakim and KRS-One were the cultural ambassadors that they always are, consummate professionals. Wu-Tang was typically awesome, but I’ve seen them like 10 times now. A Tribe Called Quest blew the doors off that place, and seemed to get the largest crowd and overall response. Snoop’s laid-back, weed-laced flow and delivery was the perfect way to cap off the night.

If you dig that old school style of hip hop, sadly lacking in today’s musical landscape, catch Rock The Bells. It’s an all-day party that you won’t regret attending.

What the Hell?

2010-08-11T18:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know it’s August, and the sporting world is dead as we all hold our collective breath for the start of college football and the NFL. There isn’t jack-shit on TV, except for new episodes of Mad Men, and more regrettably, Jersey Shore. Most of what’s playing in movie theaters is just so-so right now. And in most workplaces (at least in mine), the people who actually aren’t on vacation are in relax mode.

What does this all add up to? Boredom.

I feel like there hasn’t been this little going on in quite some time. I guess this just kind of proves that we’ve had quite a noteworthy 2010 up until about now. We had the Winter Olympics, the World Cup and LeBron’s soap opera offseason drama (as well as the rest of the notable NBA offseason moves). We’ve had an MLB season that has seen a noticeable shift away from the power-hitting game to which we’ve all become so accustomed in recent years. Hell, this year alone we’ve had two perfect games (first time there’s ever been more than one in the same season), five no-hitters (counting those 2 perfect games) and countless other pitching gems in general, including an almost no-hit performance by Toronto’s Brandon Morrow, who struck out 17 batters and allowed Tampa Bay’s only hit with two outs in the ninth as the Jays blanked the Rays 1-0 Sunday. Oh and of course there was the infamous Jim Joyce botched first-base call that took away, with two outs in the ninth inning no less, what would have otherwise been the THIRD perfect game in the same season.

So yes, quite an exciting year so far in the sporting world. Other areas of our entertainment and pop culture needs have had some fun nuggets as well (TV, movies, music, etc.), but sports has seriously carried the torch in the oh-10. My highlight list (why thanks for asking!), looks kind of like this:

TV: Most notably, Lost, after 6 seasons, went off the air. The finale was largely anticlimactic, and quite divisive. For me, it’s about what I expected. A lot of stuff was still unanswered, but generally speaking, the closure for most of the major characters was fairly certain. The show took a defining turn for me around Season 3-ish or so anyway. I completely wish they would have gone in another direction (I can elaborate more at another time), but they didn’t. Alas, if you’re a sci-fi buff, you probably like how most of it played out. I found myself shaking my head at the screen many times. Such is life.

Also in TV Land, Breaking Bad gave us an epic third season with continued twists, turns and surprises while still remaining plausibly exciting and reeling us in ever deeper into our involvement with the lives of its characters. Everyone on the show is hands-down fantastic, and it’s gripping even when it doesn’t try to be. It’s seriously treading on ‘Wire’ territory for me. I don’t know if I can quite put it there yet, but my emotional attachment to the characters in BB probably surpasses that of The Wire for me, a feat which deserves some serious props.

Now that Mad Men is back, we see the continued decline of Don Draper, hinted at in the Season 3 finale. He is going to hell in a handbiscuit, kiddos. Things are NOT going well for one of the most charismatic ad men of the 1960s. His divorce, watershed career change and new partnership at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, as well as his new bachelor lifestyle, have left him cold and lost. He basically now just drinks his face off, bangs the occasional secretary and even semi-frequently hires ‘ladies of the evening.’ New Don Draper is either reprehensibly disappointing or my freaking hero. I haven’t decided which yet. The other characters haven’t plunged fully into any landmark season 4 storylines quite yet, but they all have their usual drama to deal with. This show revolves around Draper anyway, as far as I’m concerned.

The Office and 30 Rock capped off typically strong seasons in May. Can’t touch on this without mentioning the impending departure of Steve Carell as Michael Scott. This next season (2010-11) will be his last on The Office. Rumored replacements have been many, but two of the more intriguing ones are Danny McBride and Rhys Darby (Murray from ‘Flight of the Conchords’). Personally, I can never get enough of Murray doing anything, even though I just can’t picture The Office without Michael Scott. I really actually kind of wish they’d just put a bow on it and call it a day at the end of next season.

And of course, Season 6 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia begins next month. I honestly don’t think they can make a bad episode of this show if they tried.

For all of you that are more into stuff like ‘True Blood’ or ‘Jersey Shore,’ I’m sorry to disappoint, but those just ‘aren’t my bag, baby’ (as Austin P. would say). Actually, I’m sort of lying. My wife and I have watched the first two eps of the new Jersey Shore season. This just makes me depressed. For an explanation on why we watched, I can’t quite give one other than to refer you to the dreaded ‘B’ word that appears very early on in this entry.

Movies: Everyone is talking about Inception. We know this, right? I love the originality that went into it, the way it was shot and the execution of a concept that demands intelligence from its viewers. Mainstream Hollywood movies like this are far too uncommon in these times. For those that haven’t seen it I don’t want to give anything away, but suffice it to say that when a creative team can craft a movie that has an audibly emotional theater-wide audience response as the film ends and the credits hit the screen – that’s when something special has been achieved.

The other highlight of the year so far? Winter’s Bone. Not even a question. I’ve raved about it in past entries. I won’t take up space repeating what I’ve previously said. Go back and do the knowledge if you’re curious. There have been other decent flicks, but these two stand out the most I would say. Comedies continue to impress me less as time pushes forward. I just saw ‘The Other Guys’ with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. The feedback on it has been strong, but I’d have to say I was a little disappointed. This is especially ironic considering that my wife, who wasn’t really that excited to see it, came away liking it a lot more than she expected. Some of the ridiculous dialogue and ludicrous scenarios helped keep it funny and entertaining, but it falls victim to the same formulaic basic plotline of essentially every ‘funny buddy cop’ movie ever made.

It goes something like this: Unlikely buddy cops are somehow paired together. They have a tenuous relationship. One is a rebel, the other is a straight man, or ‘family’ man. Buddy Cop duo are basically screw-ups or cast-offs in some way. Buddy Cop duo get put onto a big case through a series of weird circumstances, where they forge a bond and an unlikely friendship. Buddy Cop duo starts getting close to cracking the case when a crucial plot point happens that causes a silly rift between Buddy Cop Duo. One of the duo forgets about it and moves on, the other continues to work toward solving the problem. Then … aha! Epiphany for guy who stuck with it. Buddy Cup Duo guy who stuck with it attempts to recruit Buddy Cop Quitter back into the fold. Quitter either reluctantly agrees to go back in or sticks with his answer of ‘no’ before coming back at the last minute to save the day and re-team up with his dysfunctional, unlikely friend. The case gets solved, Buddy Copy Duo become great friends and continue to solve cases together, happy ending (not the massage parlor type, unfortunately) ... and the road is paved for a limitless number of awful sequels that will rake in tons of money because it stars the same two big Hollywood names.

There you go. Anybody need a script written? I can do it. It doesn’t even have to be good (in fact, most of what people go to see isn’t good at all). Seriously. I can pump it out in a couple weeks if I give it enough hours each day. I’m a slut, I’m for hire.

Music: Uh, I don’t listen to new music anymore. This is utterly sad because music always has been and always will be one of my favorite things ever. I don’t know what bands or artists people listen to these days (I mean, I do by their names like ‘Arcade Fire’ or ‘Lady Gaga’, but not by anything else). I feel so out of touch with music it’s pathetic. Like a lot of people from my generation that are my age, I listen mostly to what was big years ago, and what I grew up with. I just don’t get music today. There’s no way to stay connected to it. How am I supposed to? By going to i-tunes and clicking on a bunch of 30-second clips? There’s no MTV the way it used to be. There’s no buzz about new artists that make soulful, risky music. I’d have a better chance of finding new music I like by seeing local bands here in NYC with some of my music-loving friends. Whatever. I’m depressed now.

On that note, Happy Trails, ya’ll. If you have anything to say about anything here, what’cha waiting for?! Hit up El Presidente.

The Big Screen (Makes me Wanna Scream)

2010-07-19T08:21:00.000-04:00

I really feel like I’m at the point now where I have almost no desire to see any movies that can best be described as ‘big budget’ or intended for ‘mass audiences.’ I don’t say this to be self-important or snobbish about my tastes (it’s all subjective anyway). But the truth of the matter is that 95% of the standard Hollywood fare simply appeals to me in no way, shape or form anymore.

I have no desire to see any goddamn thing about ‘vampires’ or ‘werewolves’ – and if I did, I’d watch any one of a bunch of movies made years or decades ago about this subject matter that were much better and didn’t involve melodramatic ‘teen angst’ or a cheap nipple thrill or two. I don’t want to watch some sub-standard remake of an 80’s classic that can never really be trumped (i.e. The Karate Kid or the original A-Team show) simply because of nostalgia or the fact that a 2000’s era redux with improved ‘this’ and specialized ‘that’ just kills part of the idea of why the original was so appealing to begin with (the ‘camp’ factor and old-school budget aspect of making that stuff back then).

I don’t want to watch another generic action flick with ridiculous, impossible high-flying stuntery that’s basically predictable, formulaic and only entertaining because of awesome special effects. I’m not somebody who goes to a movie theater primarily because a movie’s EFX kick major arse. There are exceptions to every rule, of course. Toy Story 3 was great, continuing a recent trend of grown adults taking more enjoyment in movies intended for children than ever before. Don’t get it twisted - TS3 is one of the most well-received flicks of 2010. I also am very curious to see Inception, the new psychological drama/action pic starring Leo DiCaprio. People either seem to love it or walk from it not knowing what the hell just happened, and needing another viewing to gauge how they really feel about what just transpired. But by and large, I shake my head a resounding ‘no’ to most of what Hollywood pumps out these days.

So what do I find myself going to see for the most part? Well, usually it’s either a comedy that looks genuinely funny (few and far between, unfortunately), something utterly depressing or a bit more on the sentimental side, but grounded in reality and emotion (i.e. “Winter’s Bone”, “Cyrus” or “City Island”), or a riveting or highly informative documentary (i.e. “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”).

Don’t get me wrong – there’s plenty of flicks out there masquerading as high art or overly intellectualized, important pieces of film that are, in reality, just meandering, boring messes. But the indie flicks I mention above are all very strong in their own way and worth checking out in a year that’s been fairly short so far on quality big-screen works.

“Winter’s Bone” especially gets a nod for its dark, ambitious storyline (enough to depress a person by description of its synopsis alone), its outstanding acting and its unique glimpse at an uncompromising, downtrodden way of life that’s not often featured for public consumption (the ultra-poor and the crystal meth-dealers/users that inhabit the most desolate, dark corners of the Ozark Mountain area of Missouri). This flick is getting early Oscar buzz, and rightfully so, especially for the watershed performance of 17-year-old Jennifer Lawrence. She plays the lead character, Ree Dolly, a somewhat desperate but nowhere-near-hopeless teenager raising her two younger siblings while her mentally unstable mother sits around the house in a catatonic state and her meth-cooking/dealing on-the-lam father (who has put the house and property up for bond) has been released from jail. What transpires is a stirring tale of bravery and courage on the part of the main character as she is essentially caught up in a me-against-the-world scenario. Ree is trying to find her father in efforts to save what little her family has left while shady, tight-lipped locals and extended family members eye her with a sense of something more sinister than a mere ‘self-preservation’ type of caution. Gripping stuff.

What maybe makes Lawrence’s performance so impressive are the human subtleties and complexities with which she plays the main character. A 17-year-old in her position would be understandably and justifiably angry 90-95 percent of the time were this a real-life counterpart story unfolding before us. But as a girl mature way beyond her years would do, she saves the explosiveness for scenes and situations that deserve those emotions, while showing an unimaginable range of other convincing but realistic emotions for someone unwillingly caught up in her situation (vulnerability, sadness, desperation, guile, cunning and a will to live/succeed that won’t be topped by anything).

Don’t expect to walk away from “Winter’s Bone” whistling a happy tune. But you can probably expect that you won’t wish you had the last two hours of your life back, as you might after seeing the most recent ‘Twilight’ movie or ‘Jonah Hex.’

It’s a haunting experience that will possibly stay with you for a few days, but unfortunately, movies like this are far too infrequent in these times. Oh and it probably isn’t playing in a whole bunch of theaters either, so if you’re lucky enough to live in or near a city that plays indie, ballsy stuff, do yourself a favor and don’t miss this.

On a final note, after having seen this movie and upon reflection comparing it to other works similar in subject matter but dissimilar in setting, there’s something seemingly more depressing about the prospect of in-the-woods, redneck poverty compared to the plight of the urban poor. Don’t get me wrong – both appear to suck hard (fortunately for me, I don’t speak from experience). But at least in urban areas there are a greater number of opportunities, organizations and people who are attempting to help the less fortunate. In the world of “Winter’s Bone” (or at least the filmmakers would have us believe), there’s nothing but a code of silence and an unwillingness by anyone to deviate from the don’t-ask-don’t-tell attitude of these folks who are either defeated by life or blissfully ignorant in their microcosm of drugs, alcohol, public assistance and an inability or lack of motivation to live a better life. This is powerful stuff, so beware.

So Check it Out

2010-07-10T14:20:00.002-04:00

Just a few words on this ridiculous, overblown and now completely over-covered, oversaturated (and over-everything else) LeBron James situation.

Pretty much everyone has weighed in on this by now, and LeBron is apparently a pariah of the worst kind in the state of Ohio (particularly in Cleveland). In less than 24 hours, he went from the most beloved savior the city of Cleveland has ever known (this is kind of sad to begin with, but it is what it is) to the most intensely hated individual as far as the eye can see.

I know this sounds as though it is being set up as a defense of King James, but that’s not totally accurate. The way in which he announced his departure from Cleveland so that he can ‘Take his Talents to South Beach’ to play with his ultra-talented buddies Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh (the latter of whom joined the Miami Heat just a couple days before LeBron’s ‘announcement’ Thursday night in a one-hour, live televised ESPN special) couldn’t have been less tactful or more heartbreaking to the Cleveland supporters. For that, Cavs fans have every right to resent LeBron James.

But the ‘aftermath’ stories I’ve read and news reports I’ve seen are a classic example of people going to extremes that can only be described as unhealthy. Burning jerseys in the streets and sending emails or calling into sports shows as if their lives are literally ruined are just a couple of examples. If the sun rises and sets in your world every day by the probability of whether your favorite professional sports team wins a championship, you need a change in perspective, as well as a few other things (and this is coming from one of the biggest sports nuts out there – ask anyone who knows me). Hey Cleveland fans - grow up and stop acting like LeBron just raped your mother and sister and then burned your house down. He’s a paid professional athlete that remained intensely loyal to your shitty team for 7 years. The Cavs’ franchise and ownership had plenty of chances to do a more adequate job of surrounding LeBron with an actual championship-caliber supporting cast. Failed. Cleveland always fails at this. They have a loser’s mentality. You don’t put all your hopes on one superstar and wait until he carries you to the promised land. You BUILD a championship around your best player or players. Look at the construction of any title-winning team over the past couple of decades for evidence of this.

Would the Patriots have won all those Super Bowls with Tom Brady and a bunch of scrubs? Would the Celtics have won two years ago without aggressively making their team better by adding the ‘New Big 3’ and a cast of solid role players? Can any championship-level team bring home the hardware with one superstar and a bunch of chicken-hearted ‘yes men’ teammates who can’t take over when the ‘superstar’ is having an off night? (I bet you can guess who I’m describing here). Sure there were times it seemed like LeBron’s heart wasn’t in it fully, and when it almost looked like he was mailing in those playoff performances in 2009 and 2010, but in some respects can you really blame him? Nobody else on that Cavs team ever showed the ability to step up. He reached the point where he just didn’t care any more. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, frankly.

For all his insane, inexplicable physical talents, LeBron still doesn’t have a ring. And if Cavs fans thought he was going to get it with their ‘good-but-not-great’ group of underachievers, then they were living in an unrealistic pipe dream world. It was a rude awakening, but it’s probably good that it happened so they can stop living in la-la land.

As for LeBron, he is also not blameless. Not by a long shot. Look, it’s clear that he shouldn’t have handled this the way he did. It became increasingly evident over the last few days that D. Wade, Bosh and LeBron had it planned out that they’d join forces somewhere (why not South Beach?). They all knew what they were doing but acted as though they were taking their time and testing the free agent waters so as not to appear so cold and callous. But we all know now what was going down. Why LeBron couldn’t have made it clear that he wasn’t returning to Cleveland days or weeks ago, while STILL not saying definitively where he WAS going, is still beyond me. Cleveland fans would have had more time to recover from the disappointment before his announcement, and he could have done this without the ‘public spectacle’ aspect of the whole thing. But if we know nothing else about him, we know that LeBron wants all eyes on him. Always. He wants to be the ‘Global Icon.’ He wanted the news of where he was going next to be THE NEWS. And guess what – it worked. But at what cost? A lot of people losing a lot of respect for him (including the entire state of Ohio). But he either didn’t foresee that consequence because of his youth and lack of maturity, or he just didn’t care.

As for Cleveland owner Dan Gilbert’s assertion that he vows that the Cavs will win a championship before LeBron does, I can only laugh my ass off at that one. Maybe Gilbert will try to sell me a bridge connecting Brooklyn to Manhattan too. I’m not saying that Miami is a lock to win a title with these 3 guys on the same team now – I still think Boston, Orlando and the Lakers (and maybe a couple others) are better overall teams at this moment, but Miami has gutted its roster (only 8 total players on the current team) in order to attempt to build the best supporting cast it possibly can around these 3 mega-stars. I know I’m only one of many when I say I can’t wait to see how next season is going to play out. And no matter how much you hate LeBron, you know damn well you feel the same way if you’re a basketball fan also.

Oh and for the record, I was wrong! I really thought Bron-Bron was either staying put or going to Chicago. I honestly think he would have had just as strong a chance in Chi-town to win titles as he does in Miami with Wade and Bosh.

Mid-Summer Sports Drama

2010-07-05T19:50:00.001-04:00

July is usually a dead sporting month, featuring little more than Major League Baseball action (an All-Star game that most people don’t care about aside from learning whether the AL or NL gets the home-field World Series advantage) and NFL mini-camp or player contract reports as everyone holds their collective breath knowing that another season of football is only mere weeks away.

But this is July of 2010, which means we’ve got quite a riveting World Cup Soccer Tournament going on in South Africa, as well as one of the most action-packed, star-studded free agency NBA classes that we’ve seen in years.

Of course, the U.S. was knocked out of the World Cup by Ghana in the first round of single-elimination play. And now we’re down to the semifinals, where we’ve got Germany vs. Spain (sounds about right), and … the Netherlands vs. Uruguay (uh … okay?!). Yes, so no matter what happens now, it’ll be worthy of some above-average interest. Germany and Spain are world powers in ‘futbol’, but the other two teams are not. Semi matches are Tuesday and Wednesday at 2:30 p.m., which means most of the working world here in the U.S. is going to miss them. Unless you’re savvy about watching stuff online at work while also getting stuff done and not being caught.

As for the NBA dramatics, all anybody wants to talk about is ‘Where is LeBron going?’ It’s worse than a frigging soap opera already. We understand that the city of Cleveland and the Cavaliers organization is doing everything allowed by law (and probably quite a bit of stuff that isn’t) to hang onto their most prized possession. And we understand that a handful of other teams with which James has agreed to meet (Knicks, Nets, Bulls, Heat, Clippers, etc.) are all making their individual best imaginable sales pitches to persuade the superstar athlete to jump ship. There are a zillion different theories on where he’ll go and why.

But what’s most likely?

Take it from a non-expert (and why wouldn’t you?) – he’s either staying put or going to the Chicago Bulls. Above all else, LeBron has proven to be intensely loyal. There’s only so loyal a player can stay before his patience is exhausted, but we all know that the Cavs haven’t actually given him a championship-caliber supporting cast yet. If they’ve convinced him, one more time, that they can do that and are giving him a short-term deal with a boatload of cash, he may grant his beloved home-state team one more chance.

The Knicks and Nets suck too much and are going to for the next few years in order for him to agree to go to either franchise (despite the best efforts of Jay-Z, Mayor Mike and that new, Russian, multi-billionaire N.J. Nets owner), and he wants a championship now (as he damn well should, seven years into the league with his super-human abilities but no rings on his fingers).

The Clippers are just a West Coast version of the Knicks/Nets, and they’ve got a notoriously cheap, uncaring owner in Donald Sterling.

Playing with Dwayne Wade in Miami seems tempting, and those are two superstar players. But as we’ve seen year in and year out, you need more than two fantastic players to win a title. You need a strong supporting cast and deep bench. The Heat still won’t have that, even if LeBron joins them. The Heat plus LeBron would still fall to the Lakers in an NBA Finals Series, especially considering that L.A. isn’t likely to lose any pieces of their two-time defending championship team.

Who does this leave besides Cleveland to woo James? The Bulls.

Don’t think LeBron wouldn’t absolutely relish the possibility of going on a Jordan-like run in Chicago. Can he and Derrick Rose be the Jordan-Pippen for the new era? They’ve also got Joakim Noah as an exceptional post player, a feisty young team and an organization that seems committed to winning. If anyone can lure LBJ away from the state of Ohio, it’s probably Chicago. And don’t also think that LBJ wouldn’t be tantalized by the prospect and challenge of trying to be the next ‘Jordan,’ or at least eventually drawing the comparisons. He has a lot of hardware to pilfer before we can even begin having that conversation, but the fresh start in another city might be just what he needs. Don’t forget, Jordan was in the league almost as long as LeBron has been before he started piling up the trophies in the early 1990s.

Oh and Cleveland, it’s not like you don’t already know this or anything, but if you actually want to win a championship, you’ll have to do better than bringing in an over-the-hill, past-his-prime veteran (ala Shaq) to round out a supporting cast that’s not proven any ability to make a title run.

Good luck to all competitors in the LBJ Sweepstakes! Won’t be long now until we find out who wins.

Oh yeah and let’s not forget about the other super-duperstar free agent players that are on the open market right now (D-Wade, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer, Joe Johnson and several others), many of whose decisions could change the face of the league for the next several years to come.

On a closing note, the Knicks just moments ago agreed in principle with Phoenix Suns standout power forward Amare Stoudemire to a 5-year, 100-million dollar deal. Stoudemire will be reunited with Mike D’Antoni, the former Phoenix coach who left to coach the Knicks a couple years ago. This is a great get for New York, but also leaves them with limited money/negotiating power to get another big-time player. Stay tuned.

Don’t Hate Us, We Were Just on Hiatus …

2010-06-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

Let’s turn to the wide, wide world of sports for a second. Since both events are old news (but quite significant), I’m approaching this from a slightly different angle, but let’s just say for starters that the Chicago Blackhawks are NHL Stanley Cup Champions for the first time since 1961 and the L.A. Lakers are NBA World Champions for the first time since … well … last year.

Yep, Chicago took out the miracle-run, eighth-seeded Philadelphia Flyers by winning Game 6 in Philly, and unsurprisingly, Philly fans booed the Blackhawks’ cup-receiving ceremony. Look, it’s hard to condone some of the more boorish behavior of Philadelphia sports fans, and it’s tired pointing out that it’s usually a smaller (but extremely vocal) minority that is largely responsible for the majority of these transgressions. But let’s not overlook the a-hole fans everywhere else in the country (and there are PLENTY). Example? Well, during the NBA Finals series that just concluded last week between the Celtics and Lakers, there was some loud vitriol on both sides. Yes, these two franchises have a long, passionate rivalry with and hatred of each other, but chanting ‘Ugly Sister’ to Lamar Odom when he’s at the foul line (he’s married to Khloe Kardashian) is kind of wrong. As is Laker fans having applauded when Celtics center Kendrick Perkins suffered a series-ending injury in Game 6 in L.A. Indeed, assholes will be around everywhere in the world at any given time. We must share their air-space unfortunately, but it’s a fact of life. To quote Dark Helmet in Spaceballs – “Keep Firing, Assholes!” Actually, it would be better if they didn’t.

To sum up, these were hard-fought, emotional wins for both these franchises (Blackhawks and Lakers), even though Kobe was pretty dreadful in the clinching Game 7 (6-for-24 from the field while still ending up with over 20 points). It didn’t feel like he had a huge hand in the comeback (Celtics led by 13 at one point in the first half). He’s a phenomenal player, but the Kobe vs. Jordan comparisons still need to stop, as far as I’m concerned. It’s a topic that can be debated for a long time with plenty of valid points and counterpoints, but right now, Jordan is still King Shit when it comes to the greatest players of the past 20-25 years (or maybe ever). People within or under the 30-35 year age range usually just say he’s the best ever and that’s it, but I’m hesitant to do that, and you should be too if you have respect for the history of the game. Players like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Bill Russell, Oscar Robertson, Wilt Chamberlain and a handful of others were as legendary in their own time and in their own way. But what Jordan did in the 1990s WAS pretty incredible. This is how revisionist history usually works though. Whatever is most recent stands out as most vivid in our recollection.

Oh and apparently, there’s some other sort of competition going on now that only occurs once every four summers in which physically fit men from various nations around the globe run themselves roughshod on a huge grass field for 90-plus minutes and attempt to kick a spherical, black-and-white ball into a net guarded by a keeper and defensive players on an opposing team from another country.

From what I’m told, it’s kind of a big deal (much like Ron Burgundy when he was hitting on Veronica Corningstone for the first time).

Okay, all sarcasm aside, I appreciate that soccer is by far the most popular sport globally. Despite an ever-increasing awareness of it in the U.S., it doesn’t seem like it will ever overtake our most popular sports here in the states (i.e. football, baseball, basketball, NASCAR, golf, etc.). It’s hard not to respect the fact that as soon as you leave the U.S. borders, ‘football’ rules no matter where you go.

And I’m not surprised the U.S. can’t seem to make significant strides either (and neither should you be) when it comes to this sport. In what world would it make sense for us (‘us’ being the United States) to be successful in a sport that’s probably barely in our Top 10 in terms of popularity when most of the rest of the countries in the world treat it like a religion?

Sure, when it comes to sports, us half-assing it sometimes equals the best effort from another nation (see the U.S. Men’s Hockey Team’s Olympic Gold Medal run earlier this year for proof).

But not when it comes to this sport. There are just way too many passionate fans, skilled players and people from other countries that invest almost everything they have emotionally into this (particularly countries that have little else to celebrate). Frankly, the U.S. has no business competing with the best of the best. I’ll be shocked if they even advance out of their group. But with sports, you just never know.

2010-06-05T12:33:00.000-04:00

What’s up chickens? The Playa is back from Vacationality, and Holy Shnykees was it a much-needed getaway. Some highlights for the constituency.

* First stop was Phoenix (and the greater Phoenix area), in the wonderful and somewhat lawless land known as Arizona. About 20 ‘Don’t forget your papers!’ jokes later from family and friends, there we were in the land of dry heat, cacti and people wearing as little as allowed by law (which again, is not very strict in Arizona). My wife and I stayed with her brother in Mesa, and also spent a good deal of time hanging out with her friend in Tempe, a Ph.D. student at Arizona State.

In general, keep this in mind: any southwestern/Mexican/Tex Mex-themed food in this area is going to be good. It just is. Can’t go wrong. Mostly anything else is standard, as in it’s no better or worse than you could get it in many other places. Well, except maybe for Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix, rated the country’s best by a few different sources (we didn’t make it there this time).

We tom-catted around the area for a few days, and I of course (if you recall from a reference in my last entry) attended the Phoenix Suns-L.A. Lakers Western Conference Playoffs (Game 3) with said brother-in-law. Quite an event. Amare Stoudemire exploded for 42 points and Phoenix won to trim its series deficit to 2-1. Of course the Lakers won the series, as we know by now, but it was nice to attend a winning effort for the home team. Oh and they gave away ugly orange t-shirts to everyone in attendance (my wife promptly made mine part of her ‘pajamas’ rotation). I’m sure Lakers fans that showed up probably threw them in the trash or urinated on them or something. One of the more memorable moments? Hitting an overcrowded men’s room afterward on our way back to the car to hear a dude waltz in behind us, chanting at the top of his lungs “Kobe’s a rapist!” My brother-in-law righteously, but somewhat quietly, commented ‘Dude, that’s inappropriate.’ I don’t think the guy even heard him.

The following day, we road-tripped up north in our rental car to check out Sedona and the Red Rocks area, which is pretty incredible.

Lots of extremely red mountainous structures, traffic roundabouts (which weirdly enough almost worked better than traffic lights), and charming little shops. The four of us chowed down at Red Rock BBQ at a nice outdoor table.

Overall, good times in the AZ.

* Next stop – New Orelans. That’s right folks, the Big Easy. We had familiar faces in this city also. Friends of ours who live about a mile away in NY met us down there while also visiting family of theirs outside the N.O.

I mean, how do you sum up this city exactly? So unique, so unlike anywhere else I’ve ever been. The music is incredible. Even at the touristy, loud, obnoxious Bourbon Street bars, there’s cover bands playing live music (Journey! Bon Jovi!) instead of some DJ spinning the latest sounds of Kesha or Lady Antebellum. Our first night, we found ourselves at a place called ‘The Spotted Cat’ where we saw an incredible live N.O.-style jazz quintet. Simply awesome.

The Big Easy also has some incredible food. We had some great meals. Probably my favorite place though? Mother’s Southern Deli on Poydras, in the central business district. Holy crap was this place amazing. Perfect for any occasion – hungover, sober, by yourself, with friends, just for the hell of it, whatever. You order at the counter, grab a beverage, take a number, sit down and wait for the food. The wife and I split two dishes evenly – the Famous Ferdi Special Sandwich and the Combination Platter. The sandwich has Mother’s World Famous Best Baked Ham, Roast Beef, and countless other delicious ingredients rounding it all out. The combo platter is heaven on a plate – five different mini-mounds of food including jumbalaya, red beans’n’rice, Etouffe (which is kind of like a delicious sea food platter), potato salad and collard greens with turnips. Holy Cow. No other meal truly compared.

We took one day to cruise out to suburban Slidell with our friends and do a swamp tour, where we saw one of the biggest goddamn alligators ever created, named El Guapo (the tour guide pronounced it ‘El Wapo’ though). This thing was 15 feet long, about 1,000 pounds, and is 75 years old (the males usually live about 90 years). It came right up to our boat. I thought about taunting him for a second, and then decided that I like having my arm attached to my body. We had a great seafood meal afterward at our friend’s father’s house in Slidell, including freshly caught-and-boiled crab along with fresh shrimp, crawfish, corn-on-the-cob, rolls and other goodies.

By the way, let me leave you with this thought (as if many people who’ve been to N.O. don’t already know this) – Bourbon Street is basically like Sodom and Gomorrah come to life. It’s like you’re an outcast if you’re NOT sinning in some way. It’s an alcohol-fueled, noisy paradise of 24/7 party-all-the-time fun. Bourbon itself is closed off to traffic for several blocks, but through traffic can pass by on the intersecting streets. It just has everything. No open-container laws, lots of greasy food, bar after bar, strip clubs piled on top of one another with scantily clad broads advertising why their place is the best. It’s a real scene, man. Even if this type of deal isn’t so much your thing, it’s worth walking up and down it once or twice, especially on a happening night, just for the experience.

And then we were on a plane back to the Big Apple, where everyone moves like their ass is on fire and there’s no time to relax. Yep, things move at an easier pace down in Nola, and people are definitely more stress-free. An attorney friend of mine is leaving his high-pressure, long-hours job in NYC for a position down there. He’s probably adding another 5-10 years onto his life expectancy.

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Okay, it’s a little ‘after the fact’, but about the umpire (Jim Joyce) who robbed Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga of a perfect game this past week in a 3-0 Tigers victory over the Cleveland Indians, how about if MLB mans up for once and grows a pair already?

Is there any professional sports organization more apathetic and ‘clingy with tradition’ than baseball? Really MLB? You can’t reverse an obviously blown call with two outs in the ninth to give a perfect game to a young pitcher who grossly deserves it? I’m pretty sure you can actually, because you’ve reversed decisions in years past that weren’t always popular (George Brett, Pine Tar game in ’83) and somehow, we all moved on. Let’s not pretend it’s any different this time. Considering the backdrop of certain current dynamics within the sport of Major League Baseball (the continued black eye of steroids over the game, the fact that there’s still no HGH testing for players, no instant replay of any kind), it’s in no way surprising that there aren’t anywhere near as many fans and overall supporters as there was as little as 12-15 years ago, despite the fact that at that time the game was recovering from a crippling strike that still had many folks fuming with anger.

Weirdly enough, the most positive aspect of this unfortunate situation is the class and dignity with which both Joyce and Galarraga have handled it. Joyce, rightfully so, was as remorseful as anything I’ve ever seen from an official over a single call. This is only fair, since perfect games come along on average about once every six years (by the way, this would have been the third this season – a completely underrated but incredibly strange subplot). But I give the guy a pass. He reacted appropriately (admitted he was wrong, tears in public, hugging the pitcher and apologizing to him in person).

And I’m pretty sure that just about everyone on the planet has royally fucked up in life at least a few times at his/her job at one point. It’s so much easier to see how this is all unfolding from the comfort of home on HD TVs with 10 instant slow-mo replays from multiple camera angles. I’d absolutely hate to be in charge of making the right call as stuff is happening at lightning speed right in front of your face 30-40 times a game. Not an easy job. We should all be glad that most of us have occupations in which we’re not counted on to get it 100 percent right every time in a nano-second flash about 40 times per game in a 162-game season (not counting playoffs). It’s just incredibly unfortunate that this wrong call altered an otherwise historical event.

Once again, I blame MLB way more than anyone else. Put an impartial mediator in a booth somewhere who can be in charge of discretionary instant replay. This person is obviously not going to suggest it for the same type of play that Joyce botched if it were a 10-1 game in the ninth inning, but it would have certainly been a good idea on Wednesday night in Detroit.

Well, now THAT was close

2010-05-16T19:40:00.000-04:00

This is probably what the Boston Celtics, or at the very least their fans, are saying after Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals in this 2009-10 NBA Playoffs.

The C’s, after doing the unthinkable in the previous round by eliminating the infallible LeBron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers from the playoffs in 6 games, waltzed into the O-Rena in Orlando and escaped with an almost too-close-for-comfort 92-88 victory despite a dominant performance for the first three quarters and slightly beyond.

Sometimes it’s just funny how easy it is to forget that stuff can change rapidly within the course of a 48-minute game. It didn’t look at any point like a Magic comeback would be anywhere in the cards. Like, not even David Copperfield’s brand of magic could get this Magic back into it. Okay, probably not the best comparison, but you get the idea.

Seriously, Boston is clearly the straight-up tougher team (maybe the toughest in the league). A friend who’s a Boston sports fan posted on facebook about halfway through the game that he was watching the Celts punch the Orlando Magic in the mouth, which pretty much summed things up at the time. They’re sort of like the Bad Boy Pistons-era teams in terms of their ‘Don’t Eff With Us’ vibe. But it’s kind of business as usual for the Celtics. This is the brand of ball they play regularly, and it’s what they did to oust Miami and then Cleveland from the postseason over the past few weeks.

Orlando took a decidedly less challenging path to get here, bull-whipping veteran-less, leadership-lacking and overmatched squads Charlotte and Atlanta to reach the EC Finals. Alright, maybe that’s a little unfair, but not entirely inaccurate. Let’s put it this way … the Magic shouldn’t be counted out, and have plenty of skills. In terms of matching up, executing, playing defense and hitting shots, they’re certainly not worlds apart from Boston. The Celts do have a championship season under their belt from two years ago, something the Magic don’t have.

But the most crucial difference, unless Orlando toughens up in a hurry, is the fact that the C’s are just better at getting in there and making things happen by sheer force of will. It didn’t help that the Magic started off with such a cold shooting performance in the first half. But they showed their intestinal fortitude and battled back to make it close by the end of the fourth quarter. Problem there is, Boston has been in that situation many times before and is never the one to lay down and roll over either.

No matter what, the rest of this series promises to be as intriguing as Game 1 was. But the C’s snaking Game 1 on foreign soil was a hugely positive way for Boston to kick this series off.

Oh and one last thing … for all of Orlando’s depth (which is considerable), it didn’t seem to matter which lineup Stan Van Gundy (or as my wife likes to call him, thanks to me, Ron Jeremy) put in there. Boston had an answer no matter whether the Magic went small-and-fast, or bigger with a more patient half-court type of game, or a combination of the two. Dwight Howard made his presence felt and had some impressive moments (killer defense, lots of blocks). But tough, smart, minimal-mistakes play will always hold up in the end (see Boston, Game 1 of this series).

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One other nugget of information that probably warrants mentioning … through some inexplicable amalgamation of timing, impulse-purchasing and circumstance, I’ll be attending Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals series between the defending champion Los Angeles Lakers and the Phoenix Suns, taking place in Phoenix next Sunday. This is what happens when an opportunistic vacation destination and a little advance research intersect. I’ve got Lower Level Baseline seats for my brother-in-law and me. I’ll be sure to file a full report as soon as possible afterward, but since El Presidente will be taking a much-needed vacation at that time and the full week after, I’m going to have to take a wait-and-see approach as to when that actually happens.

Either way, this factoid transitions perfectly into the other NBA Playoff Series that will be taking place leading up to the Finals. Suns vs. Lakers is what I was hoping for, and by all accounts it should be quite the thrill-ride. The Lakers have the size and experience advantage, while the Suns have the inimitable Steve Nash, are riding a wave of momentum and possess an unlikely group of players that have somehow found their own formula for postseason success. In the WC Semifinals, Phoenix swept the Spurs … the four-time-in-the-past-13-years-champion San Antonio Spurs. That dynasty is pretty much over. So it seems like anything is possible. But then, there’s also the hope that they didn’t release all of their chi by now, if you get my drift.

And check it out nerds, I’m basically promising to hit you all off with some more fresh material on the regular. After all, a president can’t effectively govern when he (or she, relax ladies) only surfaces once in the blue. Ya feel me? And if ya don’t know, now ya KNOW.

What in the Name of …

2010-05-04T16:01:00.001-04:00

… the NBA Playoffs is happening exactly? The Boston Celtics … that’s right, the aging, lifeless, couldn’t-care-less, going-through-the-motions, not-going-to-win-the-2010-NBA-Title Boston Celtics … are tied at 1-1 with the mighty, top-seeded Cleveland Cavaliers after decisively winning Game Two (104-86) of their Eastern Conference Semifinal Playoff Series.

Oh, and for at least the first half and well into the third quarter, it looked for all the world like they were going to win Game One also, until King James (Lebron, as if anyone doesn’t already know that) spearheaded a courageous comeback effort to give Cleveland the win.

Brings to mind that classic adage ‘This is why they play the game.’

I’ll admit, I didn’t see this coming really, although I was impressed by how tough Boston looked against Miami in the first round. Granted, the Heat didn’t have what it takes to go far in the playoffs this year, but Boston looked like a completely different team than the out-of-sorts, inconsistent, who-gives-a-crap group that slogged its way through much of the regular season.

I guess they were saving it for the playoffs, which is kind of what a lot of these teams have to do these days, it seems. It’s a long-ass regular season, and these guys take quite a beating physically. It’s not the same type of beating that NFL Players have to put up with, but it’s a wear-and-tear on the body that has equally, or possibly more, debilitating effects that are caused in a different way. It usually makes me wonder how many times players are actually dogging it out there when they seem like they’d rather be anywhere else, or if it’s authentic exhaustion.

Either way, don’t look away just yet because the Boston Frigging Celtics actually have a fighting chance to dethrone the seemingly impenetrable Cavs. I can just see Lebron’s reaction if that happens. Last year after Orlando ousted Cleveland in the Eastern Conference Finals, it was pretty well publicized that James immediately fled the court and refused to speak with the media. He later acknowledged this, indicating that his frustration in those first stinging moments after such a loss got the better of him, but it seems insane that this far into his unbelievable career he is still without a championship ring – and still might be in June. Wouldn’t THAT be some shit.

There’s still a lot of ball left to play, but right now it looks like Cleveland will have to work its ass off to be the champ this year. It’s amazing how the tide can turn from regular season to playoffs. For those first 82 games, it appeared to be only a matter of time before the Cavs would be standing tall, trophy in hand and a grinning David Stern at their side in mid-June. During that same stretch Boston looked like a washed-up contingent of overpaid superstars coasting on their reputation and past glories.

Now? The C’s are putting on a clinic these days and looking tough, pissed off and ready to take down anyone. They’re obviously playing with a bit of a chip on their shoulder since, you know, whenever anyone talks about the teams with a shot to win it all this year Boston is immediately excluded from the conversation. Probably a mistake. Can’t wait to see how the rest of this series plays out.

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Oh yeah, as for those other series … well, Atlanta needed 7 games to put away feisty Milwaukee in Round 1 while Orlando put it in cruise control to beat Charlotte. The emergence of Jameer Nelson as a top-tier playoff point guard for the Magic takes them to another level. With their depth on the bench, Nelson running the point and Dwight Howard killing it on the boards and on defense, Orlando is going to be a tough out. The series with the Hawks hasn’t even started yet, but I’d put the Big O back into the EC Finals right now.

Out west, Utah was eliminated by the L.A. Lakers the last two years running in the NBA Playoffs. Who took Game One of their Western Conference Semifinals series Sunday? The Lakers. Who closed out game one? (which really could have gone either way) – Kobe Bryant. A lot of us would love to see the Jazz flip the script this year, but this type of stuff just doesn’t happen usually (especially to a team that loses its two most valuable big men going up against a squad with a couple of talented 7-footers in the low post – Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum). Despite the best efforts of Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer and the rest of Utah’s team, Hollywood will likely move on.

And finally, we’ve got Phoenix vs. San Antonio, which should actually be a barn-burner of a series. Run-and-gun Suns vs. the controlled style of play from the grizzled veteran Spurs. Phoenix took game one, and although the Spurs have that patience and championship caliber of players, the Suns seem to have that look in their collective eye this time. Dudes like Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire and Grant Hill want it bad this year. The Spurs are always going to be peskier than a roomful of fruit flies in July, but if we’re lucky, Manu Ginobili’s busted nose and one too many satisfied-with-previous-titles Spurs vets won’t be able to dig S.A. out of the fire this time. (Is it difficult to tell who I’d like to win this series, by the way?). Suns-Lakers would be one hell of an entertaining WC Finals.

Any thoughts? Anyone else mildly obsessed with the NBA Playoffs this year? What’s that? NHL Playoffs? Baseball? Yeah, I think I’ve heard of those things before.

The Passing of a Hip Hop Legend

2010-04-25T23:31:00.000-04:00

I figured the news would barely be a blip on the musical radar screen, and boy was I unfortunately correct.

Keith Elam, a.k.a. MC Guru from the legendary Brooklyn hip hop duo Gang Starr, died this past week after a long but hardly-publicized bout with cancer, as well as complications stemming from a heart attack and subsequent heart surgery.

Throughout my lifelong hip hop education, I can think of few artists or acts that epitomize true hip hop the way Guru and Gang Starr did throughout Elam’s illustrious career.

You undoubtedly have heard people talk about ‘real’ hip hop countless times, with slightly varying definitions of what constitutes such. There’s the usual suspect list of descriptions: not selling out and remaining true to one’s artistic credibility and fan base that lent support since day one; lyrics and music that are creative in some way, or at the very least speak in a very real and true fashion about an artist’s personal experience. You get the idea.

But one of the highest compliments an artist can be paid is for a dyed-in-the-wool hip hop fan to describe that artist’s work as ‘real’ or ‘true’ hip hop. Being representative of what the art form, music, culture and lifestyle is all about.

Guru was this artist. Sadly, in the year 2010, real hip hop has transitioned into a weird place. It’s not entirely accurate to say it’s completely dead, but it certainly doesn’t wield the same power and influence that it did in Gang Starr’s prime (the early-to-mid 1990s, often described as the Golden Era of Hip Hop).

Gang Starr, however, was it, man. DJ Premier was and is one of the most talented beat blenders and turntable operators to ever get busy on the 1’s and 2’s. His body of work speaks for itself. And Guru? What can you say about this cat. His smooth, laid-back flow, precise delivery and intelligent, thought-provoking lyrics have been a blessing to the musical form. He never even really needed to drop F bombs or threaten your life to be menacing. His mic skills did all the talking. Case in point – tracks like ‘Take it Personal,’ ‘Now You’re Mine,’ ‘Words I Manifest’ and countless others. Guru has dropped thoughtful gems, aggressive gems, girl-problem gems, shout-out-to-Brooklyn gems, and even brilliantly composed Jazz-infused gems (check out his Jazzamatazz series of albums – pure genius).

Premier and Guru were a one-of-a-kind duo. Together, they combined to put out 6 studio albums, a greatest hits album (Full Clip) and both have contributed their talents to a myriad of other excellent hip hop cuts by fellow east coast/NYC area MCs over the years.

Guru, who rhymed that his moniker was an acronym for ‘Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal,’ has been largely absent from the musical scene in terms of putting out new material since Gang Starr’s last album, 2003’s The Ownerz. The ever-changing direction of urban music, coupled with Guru’s health problems, are likely the main contributors to this circumstance. But thankfully, Elam worked tirelessly during his prime years to create a healthy catalogue of timeless hip hop that will always be around for generations of fans old and young to discover.

To pick a best album or cut would be like trying to figure out what’s the most intolerable Billy Joel single, or what’s the best thing on the menu at Chipotle. In other words, don’t bother.

But for starters, GS’s 1992 album ‘Daily Operation’ is quite stupendous from start to finish, as are 1990’s ‘Step in the Arena’ and 1994’s ‘Hard to Earn.’ For individual tracks that are ripe with flavor, the type of songs that epitomize that true hip hop essence, check out ‘Take it Personal,’ ‘DWYCK,’ ‘Code of the Streets,’ ‘Soliloquy of Chaos,’ ‘Words I Manifest,’ ‘Mass Appeal,’ and ‘You Know my Steez.’

Support real hip hop and show Gang Starr some love, if you haven’t already.

A bunch of TV Randomness

2010-04-18T18:40:00.000-04:00

* HBO, what the hell is wrong with you exactly? Why must you show ‘Training Day’ seemingly no less than four times a week lately, and almost always in prime time? How do you expect me to get anything else done when I see it on the program guide? Is there not some unwritten social contract being violated here? You know where to reach my people. Please, some more advance notice on the ‘Training Day’ airings on future such occasions. Please and thanks.

* Speaking of HBO, its original programming seems to be knocking them out of the park lately. ‘Treme,’ the new series about New Orelans residents attempting to keep on living life like regular people in the city shortly post-Hurricane Katrina, is showing a lot of promise after only its premiere episode. There’s also ‘The Life and Times of Tim,’ a hilarious tongue-in-cheek animated series about a mild-mannered, sarcastic pushover – the title character Tim – who can’t ever seem to buy a break, or ever scrape together enough dough to take out his blonde girlfriend Amy. The plots are typically over-the-top stupid on purpose (think ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’), but it’s obvious when you watch it that the humor stems from the absurd nature of the writing, and most of the laughs end up coming out of the outrageous dialogue. Throw in new exciting other series like World War II-centric ‘The Pacific’ and fan favorites such as ‘True Blood,’ and it’s clear that the network is on the ball these days.

* I don’t know how the rest of this Game 1 first-round NBA Eastern Conference playoff series between the Orlando Magic and Charlotte Bobcats is going to turn out, but currently Magic point guard Jameer Nelson is absolutely abusing Raymond Felton and the poor Charlotte defense. This has been insane – Nelson has 14 points and there’s still about 3 minutes to go in the first quarter. I almost want to send Felton a sympathy card right now. This is mad embarrassing for the Bob-kitties.

* ‘Breaking Bad,’ one of The AMC Network’s two signature dramas, continues to surprise and entice viewers with an unending surplus of twists and turns that keeps viewers guessing what’s coming up next. I’ve definitely raved about this program before, and if you ever check it out (assuming you haven’t already), you’ll know why. Bryan Cranston is in the role of his lifetime as a crystal-meth cooking high school chemistry teacher who turns to drug making for cash when he learns that he’s been diagnosed with lung cancer and wants some cash around for his family when he’s gone. It’s gripping stuff that never pulls punches, but there’s just enough moments of subtlety, humor and gravitas so that you don’t crumble under the weight of the show’s ambitious constitution. If you haven’t ever seen it but are looking for an excellent drama, speed-order season 1 on DVD and get started. You won’t regret it.

* South Park, while still usually funny after all these years, occasionally tests my patience with the entire episode-long toilet humor type jokes. But this latest season has been overall extremely funny and topical. This past week’s episode, the first of at least a two-parter in which all of the celebrities the show has mocked in some way throughout its 13 years on the air are making a return, promises to be an epic moment in SP’s history. Mecca Streisand, the Super Best Friends and J. Lo-via-Cartman’s-hand-puppet-antics have all made a return, thankfully. Stay tuned.

Donovan has Flown the Coop

2010-04-11T20:45:00.001-04:00

I should probably start by mentioning that I like to disassociate myself from the stereotypical example of the classic arrogant, loudmouth Philadelphia sports fan who loves to find lame excuses after a loss, runs his/her mouth incessantly without really possessing much of an intricate knowledge about the sport or players they profess to adore, and generally likes to start shit at the drop of a hat.

We all know that this is not representative of all Philadelphia sports fans. But the ones who don’t act like animals are too busy not acting like animals and caring about other stuff in life to possess a voice loud enough to counter the overbearing yell of the ‘loudmouths.’

This is how the actions and words of the negative few can create a scenario in which an entire fan base earns a reputation that is in no way indicative of the general overall group.

And this is why the departure of longtime Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb from the organization has been such a hot-button discussion topic over the past week since the news was announced.

McNabb, along with head coach Andy Reid, have been the whipping post through which all dissatisfied Eagles fans have expressed their frustration over the past 10 years, many (half – exactly) of which have resulted in advancing at least as far as the NFC Championship game, but sadly, rarely further. Except for the 2004-05 season, in which the Eagles lost the Super Bowl to the New England Patriots.

Also, most people realize it’s clear that primarily blaming one or two individuals for any type of failure in a team sport is also pretty damn stupid.

But like it or not, the head coach and the QB are the most visible and often vital components of a football team. These are the guys leading the way. And if a group doesn’t have a leader, then who’s taking charge during the rough patches and providing a presence of general guidance through the ups and downs of the season?

Now, I’ve been saying for quite some time, ironically agreeing with most of the ‘loudmouths’ and taking the opposing viewpoint of most practical, level-headed Eagles fans, that there has needed to be some sort of change or ‘shake-up’ in the whole Reid-as-coach, McNabb-as-QB setup. This isn’t to denigrate McNabb’s skills, which are considerable, or that of Reid’s (I almost can’t type that last part with a straight face).

But for anyone that has been a fan of this team or paid attention to it during the Reid-McNabb era, it’s become fairly evident that there’s something about the current regime that doesn’t feel like a Super Bowl winner. Yes, it is hard to overlook or completely turn away from the division titles, multiple NFC Championship game appearances and one Super Bowl appearance. However, it’s also easy to see how the fans get to feel like a carrot is being dangled in front of them every year and then promptly snatched away at the last second. Let’s not forget, Philly sports fans aren’t the most sympathetic or patient bunch to begin with.

The Phillies’ 2008 World Series and 2009 WS runner-up status has bought some good grace amongst the fans, but what the city truly craves is some football hardware. They want Philadelphia’s first Super Bowl trophy, and they feel like it should be there by now.

Unfortunately though, the thing about chemistry is that it’s impossible to predict it or bring it about intentionally. Through following sports for years, I’ve seen a lot of championship teams at the pro, collegiate and even high-school levels (the latter through having at one time been a sportswriter). And that un-definable chemistry is always there somewhere. You don’t know how it got there, but you know it when you see it. And if a team doesn’t have it – good luck.

Clearly, none of the Reid/McNabb-led Eagles teams has ever quite had that ‘chemistry’ factor in strong enough presence to produce a championship. You can only keep getting the same undesired result so many times before it makes sense to try something different.

While not knowing the exact circumstances that led to McNabb’s departure, I’d like to be cautiously optimistic that a change might re-energize the team’s current dynamic. Having said that, if I could have chosen I would have much rather seen Reid – along with his blank-stare, unbelievable late-game clock mismanagement and overall lack of enthusiasm for anything not fried-food related – hit the road instead of McNabb.

Not to mention that the Eagles didn’t seem to get the best return-on-investment for one of their most prized commodities. An additional second-round draft pick this year plus a third or fourth-round pick in 2011 isn’t exactly an outstanding ‘get’ for the Birds considering they lost the longtime engineer of their offense, inconsistent though he was at times. Oh yeah, and then there’s that issue of the now uncertain future at the QB position in Philadelphia. Kevin Kolb is next in line. He’s shown promise at times as more of a pure drop-back type of passer and a seemingly acceptable game manager, but nevertheless, kind of a frightening thought. Maybe the team will scoop up a promising young QB in a couple weeks at the 2010 NFL Draft.

One thing I do know – it will be a riveting 2010 season, especially in the NFC East now that McNabb will be wearing a Redskins uni, no matter what happens.

Another thing I think I can predict – even though it won’t be deserved for the guy who’s worked so hard for the Eagles over the past decade, the boo birds will be out in full force when McNabb and Washington visit Philadelphia this coming season.

Why does it feel so natural to root against Duke?

2010-04-09T14:35:00.000-04:00

Look, you’ve got me. The 2010 Division I Men’s Basketball Champions are practically pariahs, for chrissakes. All I know is that it’s one of those stereotypical, everybody’s-doing-it kind of activities that still feels right, somehow. Unless you’re a Duke fan or have been since a wee child, there’s not much to hook you in and convince you to get behind the Blue Devils as a team. It’s a little bit like rooting for pizza to beat out all other foods in a popularity contest, or like pulling for the U.S. to be the wealthiest nation. Organically, stuff like this is going to fall into place sooner or later anyway.

Nobody is sitting around crying for Duke with each year that passes without a Blue Devils national men’s hoops championship. Because everyone who knows even a fart’s worth about college basketball is aware that they have the horses to win the title every year anyway.

Oh and I suppose there is also the inherent unlike-ability factor. Both Mike Krzyzewski and his players just always seem to be completely devoid of personality or, you know, pretty much anything that makes them in any way compelling. This doesn’t necessarily tarnish the impressive accomplishments of the organization, I suppose. By the numbers, Duke is still a model of excellence and consistency in the sport, and that’s what matters most. But when it comes to the bipartisan person, you aren’t going to have a whole lot of people getting behind the school that wins all the damn time anyway. Oh yeah, and the school that’s perceived to have one of the largest contingents of elite, rich, upper crust students.

You know what – congrats to them. They played the best. They won the title. But I can’t think of many people I know that were actually hoping Butler didn’t win that championship game. You want to talk about a longshot? A less-than-mid-major-conference school with an enrollment of less than 5,000 total students came within a last-second missed shot of winning the biggest prize in all of college basketball. This, presumably, is what sucks so many of us into March Madness each year – stories like that. Where even the barely casual followers of the sport become riveted at what’s unfolding. But when Duke beats Butler for the whole enchilada, it just seems like one great big tease.

Sure, the whole 2010 tournament was pretty thrilling – one of the best in awhile. But I have no problem admitting that no more than two seconds after the final buzzer sounded, I promptly changed the channel and didn’t turn it back. This is highly uncommon for me, by the way. I relish the moments to see any championship winning team in those first minutes after the final horn has sounded. To witness the sheer euphoria, the uncontrolled, organic human reactions that stem from the actual desired outcome after months, even years, of ass-busting hard work. There’s nothing like it.

But for Duke? Yeah, not so much interested in seeing them rejoice. Did they do anything to me to elicit these feelings about them? No, not really. But more importantly, I suppose it’s that they don’t do anything FOR me either.

Hip Hop and Ya Don’t Stop …

2010-03-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

… Rockin’ to the Bang Bang Boogie said Up Jump the Boogie to the Rhythm of the Boog-a-da-beat.

Hell yes kittens. As promised last entry, the Playa is punching it up hip hop style, and what better time to do this than after the explosion of flavor I just witnessed Friday night at The Littlefield in the Gowanus, Brooklyn.

A fellow hip hop aficionado/friend of mine and I converged on this modestly-sized performance art space on Degraw Street to take in a concert sponsored by the National Black Writers’ Association. The acts?

First there was Talib Kweli, a fairly large name in the underground hip hop scene, who has sort of walked the mainstream tight rope with some popular, catchy crossover singles (“Just to Get By,”; “I Try”). His lyrics are more in the politically conscious vein, and his MC skills are quite superb. He is also known for having frequently over the years partnered up with another fellow Brooklyn-bred MC, Mos Def. The duo put out a well-received collabo album under the name ‘Black Star’ in the 2001-02 time period, spawning minor underground hits such as ‘Respiration’ and ‘Definition,’ the latter of which pays homage to Boogie Down Productions’ old-school classic cut ‘Stop the Violence’ by borrowing its chorus and re-wording it for a new-school update.

The headliner? The one and only Gil Scott Heron, a name not that well known in modern music circles, but please don’t get it twisted. Mr. Heron made his bones as a revolutionary African American musician and occasional spoken-word poet during the burgeoning, turbulent New York of the early 1970s, symbolizing the voice of the black poor and lower working-class in Harlem and other fringe NYC neighborhoods at the time. Works of his such as ‘The Bottle’ and ‘The Revolution will Not be Televised’ have stood the test of time as powerful works of artistic brilliance, and were hugely influential in what would go on to become the hip hop music we know and love today. His loops and vocals have been sampled by countless well-respected hip hop artists in the New York scene, and everywhere else. Well before The Sugar Hill Gang laid down the single that ‘started rap music,’ Gil Scott was already a legend in his own time.

I was honestly a little unsure of what to expect heading into this show. I’m not super familiar with the overall catalogue of work by either of these artists, but knew enough about them and had heard enough of their music to have an idea of what to expect.

Let me just say, there’s nothing like being pleasantly surprised. This was honestly one of the best live music shows I’ve seen in a long time. Even DJ Preservation on the wheels of steel was amazing with the pre-show warmup music, seamlessly weaving through a truckload of 45s on the turntables displaying his skills through a glorious soundwave of old-school funk, tribal African beats, 70s soul and countless other musical styles that provided a perfect backdrop for Friday night’s performers.

Best of all, the performers did their own thing wonderfully without stepping on each others’ grooves. Live hip hop shows are often nowhere near as satisfying as the recorded product. There’s often ancillary posse members on stage just for the hell of it, and too many cats up there with microphones shouting over each other and ruining the flow. Half the time, they’re not even on point with the rhythm of the music, and the whole thing just comes off sloppy.

Well my friends, no such thing on this night. Talib took the stage by himself, rocking the mic with only the DJ providing the music – the way it should be. And he put it down. He prowled the stage, sweating through a blistering set in the cramped space and moving the crowd like a real MC should. The melody in his songs came through perfectly, and the beats were tight. Not a weak song in the set.

After a break following his set, backed up yet again by some more heat rocks from DJ Preservation, out came the legend himself, Mr. Gil-Scott Heron. He spoke to the crowd the way he might an old friend, casually talking about his life experiences (including a few stints in prison over the past 10 years). The life experience in his voice was fascinating. His gravelly delivery and laid back, take-it-in-stride demeanor is probably the only way he’s still around today, after all he’s evidently been through in his life. His vocals were flawless. Have you ever been fortunate enough to see a live performer or singer who can’t possibly miss a note or sing something out of key because everything that comes out of his/her mouth is pure gold? That’s Gil Scott. Some cats are just born to sing. He’s one of them. He played his songs on an organ and just sang – simple yet effective. He was also laced with some harmonica by a fellow performer, and I would be completely remiss if I didn’t mention the saxophone stylings of another jazz bluesician legend who joined Mr. Gil Scott on stage, the legendary Gary Bartz.

All in all, a fabulous night of music, starting with a newer artist that represents true hip hop in the modern era (Talib Kweli), and ending it off by going back to the roots of what started it all, musical treasures Gil Scott Heron and Gary Bartz. These are the type of guys that laid the foundation for what artists like Public Enemy, Nas, Eric B. & Rakim, Jay-Z, EPMD, Slick Rick and countless others would turn into a musical movement that so many of us still know and love today.

Another one of those modern artists, one who was cut down way before his time, was the Notorious BIG. The 13th anniversary of his passing happened just a few weeks ago (March 9th), but you would never know it, aside from the occasional one or two-hour Biggie mash-up on your local urban radio station in memory of his greatness. This sadly proves that true hip hop, the real Golden Era stuff, is and has been dormant for a long time now. All that most of us have as a memory stick now is the glorious music and live performances of that era because as most of us know now, it’s not apparently present in any way, shape or form in the current urban music scene.

Many have theorized that when Biggie and Tupac died within a year of each other in 1996 and ’97, those two watershed events signaled the slow, metaphorical death of the art form (not just music scene, mind you) itself. It would be hard to argue that (but more on that for another time).

Those of us that love and revere true hip hop don’t just miss Biggie and Tupac. We miss the entire culture.

Fortunately, we have performances like Friday night’s at the Littlefield to remind us that true greatness isn’t completely dead. You just have to know where to look.

March Sadness

2010-03-21T15:52:00.000-04:00

I am SO glad I didn’t fill out a bracket this year.

Anyone who knows anything about the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is well aware that there are a fair share of surprises every year, some more than others.

But this season – hot diggity dog. I would have my swear jar filled to the brim with quarters at this point had I decided to enter a pool.

It’s not even about the fairly insignificant amount of money most people plunk down. Nobody really cares so much about 5, 10 or even 20 dollars that they should react as though they just found out they were one wrong digit away from a winning mega-Millions lottery ticket.

It’s about the frustration with finding out how wildly inaccurate your thought processes were when making your picks. This is especially true for self-professed sports nuts (right here!). Hell, I covered sports for a career at one time. I should know more than the average bear!

Dead wrong. Big mis-perception right there. Sure I might have certain insights into particular sports that are lacking in others who could care less about it. But when it comes to predicting winners of games, tournaments or other competitive endeavors? Please, spare me with the whole ‘research’ angle. It’s probably 85-90 percent dumb luck, and anyone who believes otherwise is fooling themselves.

This year’s NCAA Tournament is a perfect example. Kansas losing in the second round to Northern Iowa? Georgetown biting the dust in the first round against the University of Ohio? Cornell taking out Temple in Round One? Old Dominion and Saint Mary’s College advancing into the second round by knocking out programs such as Notre Dame and Villanova, respectively? Say WHAT? Eleventh-seeded Washington, from the one major-conference-that’s-getting-no-respect-this-year PAC 10 into the Sweet 16 with wins over Marquette (No. 6) and New Mexico (No. 3)?

See, we all know upsets are going to happen, but who the hell can pretend they have any well-researched, surefire theories as to which games will actually produce these upsets? It’s all anybody’s guess. And it’s not rocket science to predict things like “Oh this higher-seeded, major conference team has 2 starters out, so they might lose,” or “Gonzaga might be a number eight seed from a non-major conference, but we all know they’re capable of beating anyone at any time.” And those scenes don’t even always seem to play out as consistently as they used to. Traditional logic just doesn’t work anymore.

I enjoy the NCAA Tournament MUCH more when I don’t have a dog in the fight, and when I’m not checking my bracket sheet more than actually watching the games as I’m attempting to calculate whether or not I’m mathematically eliminated from winning some sort of prize, or trying to validate my sports acumen by holding up a mostly successful bracket sheet by the time the dust all settles.

College hoops is just insane. Too many alpha dogs are fleeing straight to the NBA after just one solid year of collegiate experience, as per the NBA’s one-year-of-college-minimum rule enacted a few years ago. And before that rule, it wasn’t at all uncommon for the best young players to go straight from high school to the big time, bypassing college hoops completely. I mean – can you blame these kids? Like Steve Miller said so many years ago, go on take the money and run. Right?

This leads to a scenario where accurately predicting March Madness success is much more difficult and tedious than ever before. The playing field is more level consistently now. We still have the landmark programs winning national titles for the most part (teams like Kansas, North Carolina, Florida, etc.). But the rest of the country has caught up in recent years. Murray State, George Mason and the U. of Ohio never seemed to make it as far as they do now when I was a young buck.

It’s fun as a spectator, but the opposite of fun if you’re trying to be a bracket expert.

Oh and by the way, I technically lied. My last entry indicated that my next would be about hip hop (you know, playa president and all). I promise that’s coming next. The 13th anniversary of Biggie’s death recently came and went without so much as a shout out, and that’s sad.

The art form of creative, boundary-pushing hip hop is as under-the-radar as it’s ever been. And that’s my word.

And 1nce Again It’s On

2010-03-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

Alright, okay – let’s just put it out of the way at the get-go.

I’ve been in Indo-China hunting rare birds of prey. I almost shot my partner a la Dick Cheney-style, but it all worked out. Let’s just say, if you ever decide to leave the safety off your hunting rifle because you get sick of having to constantly switch it back and forth, just do the smart thing and keep switching it. Laziness just might kill ya dead otherwise!

Fine, okay, for reals, for those few devoted followers out there, I haven’t updated this space in ages. And it feels like I’ve turned several ages since then. Alas, here we are. I haven’t put it down since the day of the Super Bowl ya’ll. Inexcusable! And the frigging Saints won! I knew I shouldn’t have taken the ‘boring but predictable’ pick (Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts). Whatevs. They’re probably still partying in N’Awlins. We’ll see if the hangover lasts well into the 2010 season, but that’s several months from now.

I’m going to hop around the dial this time. Hang onto your party favors, chaps.

* The Oscars have come and gone without any major surprises, except perhaps arguably in the Best Picture category. Well, that and the crazy Jewish godmother chick that bum-rushed the stage and stole the thunder from Roger Ross Williams during the award acceptance speech in the Best Short Documentary category. Talk about pulling a ‘Kanye West’ – Jesus Christmas. At first I thought she was going to just complain about how she asked for a Salt bagel and they gave her an Egg Everything by mistake, for the sake of Hashem already. But then she started babbling about the film. Go figure.

The other most notable result, at least in my mind, was The Hurt Locker pulling the upset over Avatar for Best Picture. This is in no way an expression of opinion that Avatar should have won Best Pic, mind you. But I feared that it would, simply for more political reasons if nothing else … you know, like the fact that it made a buzzillion dollars and was seen by everyone who is anyone. It was a cultural phenomenon, not just a movie, and Hollywood often likes to reward such achievements. But I’m glad to see that, especially in recent years, the Academy has shown the tendency to give the nod to the less visible but still powerful, and deserving, films (i.e. Crash, Slumdog Millionaire, The Hurt Locker).

* Breaking Bad returns to AMC next Sunday, March 21st, chilluns. It’s. Going. To be. Bad-ass. Great show, heading into Season 3, and if you don’t know, now ya know. Go catch up pronto. It’s the best show of this past decade not named ‘The Wire.’ Bryan Cranston’s defining career role. Everyone else is fantastic too, in their own way. Just trust me. Subject matter, you ask? Well, it’s not the sunniest show, but if you can take it, it’s worth it. Cranston plays a burned out, mid-life crisis-having high school chemistry teacher in Albuquerque with a wife, a physically disabled teenage son, and another baby on the way. He’s a brilliant scientist who has fallen short with more prestigious career paths, and when the show opens we see him working a shitty second job in a car wash to help make ends meet. Then suddenly, he’s diagnosed with lung cancer. So what does he do? Why what anybody else would do in his position … he teams up with a burnout former student of his who deals small-time drugs locally and uses his vast knowledge of chemicals to construct the most addictive, dangerous, organically pure form of crystal meth known to man so he can make sick money for his family before he checks out permanently. It’s gripping stuff, and you can imagine the kind of characters that Walt and Jesse (said burnout former student) encounter along the way. Their pairing is seemingly unlikely and often chaotic, but also strangely compelling and even somewhat touching, at the risk of sounding like a sentimental pussy. But seriously – excellent show. Highly recommended.

* I caught Brooklyn’s Finest this weekend. It’s received mediocre reviews and only lukewarm attention. Although I enjoyed it overall, I must agree with the overall sentiment that it doesn’t quite stand up to Training Day, the definitive work of director Antoine Fuqua and a film which garnered a Best Lead Actor Oscar for Denzel Washington 10 years ago. BK’s Finest is a gritty crime drama set in modern day New York, and the realism aspect seems fairly believable. But the three central storylines that interweave throughout the two-plus hours often leave holes and question marks individually, creating for a lack of depth and a feeling of emptiness by the time it’s all over. You just kind of find yourself wondering what you’re supposed to take away from it. Sure I enjoyed the overall experience of viewing it, but it doesn’t stand up as a strong work on its own that leaves you wanting more or yearning for repeat viewings, as does Training Day, which I never turn off when I stumble across it while channel-surfing. If you’ve got nothing better to do and you’re drawn to the hardcore crime drama genre, you could definitely do worse. But don’t expect a classic. Solid all-around performances from Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes and Don Cheadle, although I couldn’t help wondering why Cheadle’s character was so eternally pissed off the entire film. He had shit on lock down – he was a cop who was clearly taking dirty money (obvious by the car he drives and the pad in which he lives), but he also had respect from his back-in-the-day boys who are still living large dealing drugs in the housing projects of the seedier parts of Brooklyn. The world is his oyster. Someone forgot to tell him he already has everything you could possibly want.

* Just caught an interesting ‘30 for 30’ Series documentary that premiered tonight on ESPN titled “Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks.” It’s a fascinatingly candid hour-plus look at many of the memorable, heated playoff battles between the Miller-led Indiana Pacers and the New York Knicks in the early-to-mid 1990s when those teams were battling Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls for Eastern Conference supremacy. Directed by Dan Klores, this doc pulls no punches (and shows that there were more than a few being thrown between the Knicks and Pacers at the time). Reggie talks openly about the constant verbal battles and stare-downs between himself and infamous Knicks fan Spike Lee, whose taunts and trash-talking often inspired Miller to escalate his already impressive skills to an even higher level of play. If you dig good old NBA footage and stories, and especially if you were in your prime and watching a lot of those old Knicks/Pacers clashes in the 90s, don’t miss this.

Okay folks, I’m gonna try not to fall off anymore and have to re-introduce myself to the world like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer or something, but we’ll see. Stay tuned. We’re going to dip into some deep hip hop discussion next time. After all, I called this joint ‘Playa President’ for a reason. Peace.

Had enough Super Bowl Hype yet?

2010-02-07T14:31:00.001-05:00

Come on, it’s only been two weeks. You need more and you know it. There might be some stuff you still don’t know about these teams and every player on them at this point.

Who would really be upset if we just did away with that extra week in between the Conference championship games and the Super Bowl? It’s a bit ridiculous. I really wish they would just play the NFC and AFC Title games on a Saturday, which would give the Super Bowl-bound teams an extra day for travel arrangements and all the other preparations they need to make. Two weeks is too long. It becomes practically anti-climactic. Not to mention that the Super Bowl has become such an ‘event’ over the past 10-15 years now that the game is practically overshadowed by everything else going on around it (media hype, a never-ending slew of ‘who cares’ type feature stories, celebrities, multi-million dollar TV commercials, halftime show, off-the-field news stories that get WAY too much play, etc.). By the time the game is over, half the people don’t even care who won. Only well after it’s all over does it really sink in as to what has been accomplished by the winning team. If we had one less week to concentrate on all the other hoopla, it would feel more like an extension of the football season that we’ve all just witnessed, rather than its own individual hype-fueled event.

And along those same lines, am I the only one who feels like some sort of weird time vortex happens in between the conference title games and the Super Bowl? Seriously, it seems like it’s been about 3 months since Jets-Colts and Vikings-Saints. I feel like a ‘Lost’ cast member during all that silly time-travel business.

Maybe it’s just all the never-ending media overkill. Oh well.

With that aside, two excellent teams are playing tonight, and only one of them can be crowned Super Bowl champ. You’ve all heard the countless angles and predictions by now. Will Peyton Manning cap off one of the greatest individual seasons any QB has ever had with yet another masterful performance in Super Bowl XLIV, cementing his status as one of the all-time playoff greats and giving him a second championship? Will the underdog but never-say-die Saints, representing the rebirth of their once-battered but still-standing-proud city of New Orleans, overcome the odds and beat the favored Indianapolis Colts? Will Dwight Freeney’s injury have anywhere near as adverse an effect on Indy’s chances of winning as many people believe? Will the team that has the ball last really be the team that ends up winning? And perhaps most importantly of all, will anyone recognize those sideline shots of Colts head coach Jim Caldwell?

Wait a minute, the Colts have a head coach? You mean it’s not Peyton Manning?! I was shocked to find this out myself.

This guy, apparently his name is Jim Caldwell, has been head coaching this team all season long! I know … crazy, right? Wow. I need time to adjust to this reality.

(wait for it)

Okay. Done.

Anyway – here’s all you need to know. Basically.

The Colts are favored, and with good reason. They’re the overall better team. They won this same game, on this SAME field, three years ago with largely the same personnel in place. Even the pouring rain didn’t stop Peyton Manning from effectively carving up the Chicago Bears’ defense in Super Bowl XLI. Why? Well there are a lot of reasons. One of my favorite is this: Before the game started, Manning practiced for almost one hour with soaking wet balls that he dipped in buckets of water, so that the predicted downpour wouldn’t be so much of a hindrance to the Colts’ offense.

Now THAT is insane.

Nobody prepares like Manning. I know the Saints are confident in their chances, and they very well should be. But let’s face it – the Vikings had that NFC Title game more or less in the bag, and then they pissed it away, like an overmatched college freshman at his first-ever frat party. Vikings fans are still rolling around on the ground from that groin kick that people call a football game.

Goddamn. That was painful. When you’re not even a fan and you can feel how much it hurt, THAT’S painful.

Anyway, whatever. The Saints are here. Whether you believe it’s because they are a team of destiny this year, or if you believe they’ve earned it with a solid body of work this season, or whether you think it’s some sort of combination of those elements, the end result is the same. They have a chance to do something great. I wouldn’t say a victory by N.O. would be the same as the N.Y. Giants’ stunning upset of 18-0 New England two years ago, but it would be close.

If both of these teams play like they did two weeks ago in their respective conference title games, the Colts are coming away with their second Super Bowl in four years. But if the Saints can somehow harass and frustrate Manning into making un-Manning like mistakes, then only at that point would N.O. have a shot. And I think that’s the reality.

The only other exception goes something like this … Manning still plays like Manning, but the Saints turn it into a Wild West-style shootout, with Drew Brees matching Peyton drive-for-drive. And then somehow, N.O. gets the ball last, trailing by less than a touchdown, and scores a TD late enough in the fourth quarter so that the Colts don’t have enough time left to answer.

Should be fun. Good luck actually paying attention to the game itself though. Seems to get harder to do so every year.