The Big Screen (Makes me Wanna Scream)

I really feel like I’m at the point now where I have almost no desire to see any movies that can best be described as ‘big budget’ or intended for ‘mass audiences.’ I don’t say this to be self-important or snobbish about my tastes (it’s all subjective anyway). But the truth of the matter is that 95% of the standard Hollywood fare simply appeals to me in no way, shape or form anymore.

I have no desire to see any goddamn thing about ‘vampires’ or ‘werewolves’ – and if I did, I’d watch any one of a bunch of movies made years or decades ago about this subject matter that were much better and didn’t involve melodramatic ‘teen angst’ or a cheap nipple thrill or two. I don’t want to watch some sub-standard remake of an 80’s classic that can never really be trumped (i.e. The Karate Kid or the original A-Team show) simply because of nostalgia or the fact that a 2000’s era redux with improved ‘this’ and specialized ‘that’ just kills part of the idea of why the original was so appealing to begin with (the ‘camp’ factor and old-school budget aspect of making that stuff back then).

I don’t want to watch another generic action flick with ridiculous, impossible high-flying stuntery that’s basically predictable, formulaic and only entertaining because of awesome special effects. I’m not somebody who goes to a movie theater primarily because a movie’s EFX kick major arse. There are exceptions to every rule, of course. Toy Story 3 was great, continuing a recent trend of grown adults taking more enjoyment in movies intended for children than ever before. Don’t get it twisted - TS3 is one of the most well-received flicks of 2010. I also am very curious to see Inception, the new psychological drama/action pic starring Leo DiCaprio. People either seem to love it or walk from it not knowing what the hell just happened, and needing another viewing to gauge how they really feel about what just transpired. But by and large, I shake my head a resounding ‘no’ to most of what Hollywood pumps out these days.

So what do I find myself going to see for the most part? Well, usually it’s either a comedy that looks genuinely funny (few and far between, unfortunately), something utterly depressing or a bit more on the sentimental side, but grounded in reality and emotion (i.e. “Winter’s Bone”, “Cyrus” or “City Island”), or a riveting or highly informative documentary (i.e. “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”).

Don’t get me wrong – there’s plenty of flicks out there masquerading as high art or overly intellectualized, important pieces of film that are, in reality, just meandering, boring messes. But the indie flicks I mention above are all very strong in their own way and worth checking out in a year that’s been fairly short so far on quality big-screen works.

“Winter’s Bone” especially gets a nod for its dark, ambitious storyline (enough to depress a person by description of its synopsis alone), its outstanding acting and its unique glimpse at an uncompromising, downtrodden way of life that’s not often featured for public consumption (the ultra-poor and the crystal meth-dealers/users that inhabit the most desolate, dark corners of the Ozark Mountain area of Missouri). This flick is getting early Oscar buzz, and rightfully so, especially for the watershed performance of 17-year-old Jennifer Lawrence. She plays the lead character, Ree Dolly, a somewhat desperate but nowhere-near-hopeless teenager raising her two younger siblings while her mentally unstable mother sits around the house in a catatonic state and her meth-cooking/dealing on-the-lam father (who has put the house and property up for bond) has been released from jail. What transpires is a stirring tale of bravery and courage on the part of the main character as she is essentially caught up in a me-against-the-world scenario. Ree is trying to find her father in efforts to save what little her family has left while shady, tight-lipped locals and extended family members eye her with a sense of something more sinister than a mere ‘self-preservation’ type of caution. Gripping stuff.

What maybe makes Lawrence’s performance so impressive are the human subtleties and complexities with which she plays the main character. A 17-year-old in her position would be understandably and justifiably angry 90-95 percent of the time were this a real-life counterpart story unfolding before us. But as a girl mature way beyond her years would do, she saves the explosiveness for scenes and situations that deserve those emotions, while showing an unimaginable range of other convincing but realistic emotions for someone unwillingly caught up in her situation (vulnerability, sadness, desperation, guile, cunning and a will to live/succeed that won’t be topped by anything).

Don’t expect to walk away from “Winter’s Bone” whistling a happy tune. But you can probably expect that you won’t wish you had the last two hours of your life back, as you might after seeing the most recent ‘Twilight’ movie or ‘Jonah Hex.’

It’s a haunting experience that will possibly stay with you for a few days, but unfortunately, movies like this are far too infrequent in these times. Oh and it probably isn’t playing in a whole bunch of theaters either, so if you’re lucky enough to live in or near a city that plays indie, ballsy stuff, do yourself a favor and don’t miss this.

On a final note, after having seen this movie and upon reflection comparing it to other works similar in subject matter but dissimilar in setting, there’s something seemingly more depressing about the prospect of in-the-woods, redneck poverty compared to the plight of the urban poor. Don’t get me wrong – both appear to suck hard (fortunately for me, I don’t speak from experience). But at least in urban areas there are a greater number of opportunities, organizations and people who are attempting to help the less fortunate. In the world of “Winter’s Bone” (or at least the filmmakers would have us believe), there’s nothing but a code of silence and an unwillingness by anyone to deviate from the don’t-ask-don’t-tell attitude of these folks who are either defeated by life or blissfully ignorant in their microcosm of drugs, alcohol, public assistance and an inability or lack of motivation to live a better life. This is powerful stuff, so beware.

So Check it Out

Just a few words on this ridiculous, overblown and now completely over-covered, oversaturated (and over-everything else) LeBron James situation.

Pretty much everyone has weighed in on this by now, and LeBron is apparently a pariah of the worst kind in the state of Ohio (particularly in Cleveland). In less than 24 hours, he went from the most beloved savior the city of Cleveland has ever known (this is kind of sad to begin with, but it is what it is) to the most intensely hated individual as far as the eye can see.

I know this sounds as though it is being set up as a defense of King James, but that’s not totally accurate. The way in which he announced his departure from Cleveland so that he can ‘Take his Talents to South Beach’ to play with his ultra-talented buddies Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh (the latter of whom joined the Miami Heat just a couple days before LeBron’s ‘announcement’ Thursday night in a one-hour, live televised ESPN special) couldn’t have been less tactful or more heartbreaking to the Cleveland supporters. For that, Cavs fans have every right to resent LeBron James.

But the ‘aftermath’ stories I’ve read and news reports I’ve seen are a classic example of people going to extremes that can only be described as unhealthy. Burning jerseys in the streets and sending emails or calling into sports shows as if their lives are literally ruined are just a couple of examples. If the sun rises and sets in your world every day by the probability of whether your favorite professional sports team wins a championship, you need a change in perspective, as well as a few other things (and this is coming from one of the biggest sports nuts out there – ask anyone who knows me). Hey Cleveland fans - grow up and stop acting like LeBron just raped your mother and sister and then burned your house down. He’s a paid professional athlete that remained intensely loyal to your shitty team for 7 years. The Cavs’ franchise and ownership had plenty of chances to do a more adequate job of surrounding LeBron with an actual championship-caliber supporting cast. Failed. Cleveland always fails at this. They have a loser’s mentality. You don’t put all your hopes on one superstar and wait until he carries you to the promised land. You BUILD a championship around your best player or players. Look at the construction of any title-winning team over the past couple of decades for evidence of this.

Would the Patriots have won all those Super Bowls with Tom Brady and a bunch of scrubs? Would the Celtics have won two years ago without aggressively making their team better by adding the ‘New Big 3’ and a cast of solid role players? Can any championship-level team bring home the hardware with one superstar and a bunch of chicken-hearted ‘yes men’ teammates who can’t take over when the ‘superstar’ is having an off night? (I bet you can guess who I’m describing here). Sure there were times it seemed like LeBron’s heart wasn’t in it fully, and when it almost looked like he was mailing in those playoff performances in 2009 and 2010, but in some respects can you really blame him? Nobody else on that Cavs team ever showed the ability to step up. He reached the point where he just didn’t care any more. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, frankly.

For all his insane, inexplicable physical talents, LeBron still doesn’t have a ring. And if Cavs fans thought he was going to get it with their ‘good-but-not-great’ group of underachievers, then they were living in an unrealistic pipe dream world. It was a rude awakening, but it’s probably good that it happened so they can stop living in la-la land.

As for LeBron, he is also not blameless. Not by a long shot. Look, it’s clear that he shouldn’t have handled this the way he did. It became increasingly evident over the last few days that D. Wade, Bosh and LeBron had it planned out that they’d join forces somewhere (why not South Beach?). They all knew what they were doing but acted as though they were taking their time and testing the free agent waters so as not to appear so cold and callous. But we all know now what was going down. Why LeBron couldn’t have made it clear that he wasn’t returning to Cleveland days or weeks ago, while STILL not saying definitively where he WAS going, is still beyond me. Cleveland fans would have had more time to recover from the disappointment before his announcement, and he could have done this without the ‘public spectacle’ aspect of the whole thing. But if we know nothing else about him, we know that LeBron wants all eyes on him. Always. He wants to be the ‘Global Icon.’ He wanted the news of where he was going next to be THE NEWS. And guess what – it worked. But at what cost? A lot of people losing a lot of respect for him (including the entire state of Ohio). But he either didn’t foresee that consequence because of his youth and lack of maturity, or he just didn’t care.

As for Cleveland owner Dan Gilbert’s assertion that he vows that the Cavs will win a championship before LeBron does, I can only laugh my ass off at that one. Maybe Gilbert will try to sell me a bridge connecting Brooklyn to Manhattan too. I’m not saying that Miami is a lock to win a title with these 3 guys on the same team now – I still think Boston, Orlando and the Lakers (and maybe a couple others) are better overall teams at this moment, but Miami has gutted its roster (only 8 total players on the current team) in order to attempt to build the best supporting cast it possibly can around these 3 mega-stars. I know I’m only one of many when I say I can’t wait to see how next season is going to play out. And no matter how much you hate LeBron, you know damn well you feel the same way if you’re a basketball fan also.

Oh and for the record, I was wrong! I really thought Bron-Bron was either staying put or going to Chicago. I honestly think he would have had just as strong a chance in Chi-town to win titles as he does in Miami with Wade and Bosh.

Mid-Summer Sports Drama

July is usually a dead sporting month, featuring little more than Major League Baseball action (an All-Star game that most people don’t care about aside from learning whether the AL or NL gets the home-field World Series advantage) and NFL mini-camp or player contract reports as everyone holds their collective breath knowing that another season of football is only mere weeks away.

But this is July of 2010, which means we’ve got quite a riveting World Cup Soccer Tournament going on in South Africa, as well as one of the most action-packed, star-studded free agency NBA classes that we’ve seen in years.

Of course, the U.S. was knocked out of the World Cup by Ghana in the first round of single-elimination play. And now we’re down to the semifinals, where we’ve got Germany vs. Spain (sounds about right), and … the Netherlands vs. Uruguay (uh … okay?!). Yes, so no matter what happens now, it’ll be worthy of some above-average interest. Germany and Spain are world powers in ‘futbol’, but the other two teams are not. Semi matches are Tuesday and Wednesday at 2:30 p.m., which means most of the working world here in the U.S. is going to miss them. Unless you’re savvy about watching stuff online at work while also getting stuff done and not being caught.

As for the NBA dramatics, all anybody wants to talk about is ‘Where is LeBron going?’ It’s worse than a frigging soap opera already. We understand that the city of Cleveland and the Cavaliers organization is doing everything allowed by law (and probably quite a bit of stuff that isn’t) to hang onto their most prized possession. And we understand that a handful of other teams with which James has agreed to meet (Knicks, Nets, Bulls, Heat, Clippers, etc.) are all making their individual best imaginable sales pitches to persuade the superstar athlete to jump ship. There are a zillion different theories on where he’ll go and why.

But what’s most likely?

Take it from a non-expert (and why wouldn’t you?) – he’s either staying put or going to the Chicago Bulls. Above all else, LeBron has proven to be intensely loyal. There’s only so loyal a player can stay before his patience is exhausted, but we all know that the Cavs haven’t actually given him a championship-caliber supporting cast yet. If they’ve convinced him, one more time, that they can do that and are giving him a short-term deal with a boatload of cash, he may grant his beloved home-state team one more chance.

The Knicks and Nets suck too much and are going to for the next few years in order for him to agree to go to either franchise (despite the best efforts of Jay-Z, Mayor Mike and that new, Russian, multi-billionaire N.J. Nets owner), and he wants a championship now (as he damn well should, seven years into the league with his super-human abilities but no rings on his fingers).

The Clippers are just a West Coast version of the Knicks/Nets, and they’ve got a notoriously cheap, uncaring owner in Donald Sterling.

Playing with Dwayne Wade in Miami seems tempting, and those are two superstar players. But as we’ve seen year in and year out, you need more than two fantastic players to win a title. You need a strong supporting cast and deep bench. The Heat still won’t have that, even if LeBron joins them. The Heat plus LeBron would still fall to the Lakers in an NBA Finals Series, especially considering that L.A. isn’t likely to lose any pieces of their two-time defending championship team.

Who does this leave besides Cleveland to woo James? The Bulls.

Don’t think LeBron wouldn’t absolutely relish the possibility of going on a Jordan-like run in Chicago. Can he and Derrick Rose be the Jordan-Pippen for the new era? They’ve also got Joakim Noah as an exceptional post player, a feisty young team and an organization that seems committed to winning. If anyone can lure LBJ away from the state of Ohio, it’s probably Chicago. And don’t also think that LBJ wouldn’t be tantalized by the prospect and challenge of trying to be the next ‘Jordan,’ or at least eventually drawing the comparisons. He has a lot of hardware to pilfer before we can even begin having that conversation, but the fresh start in another city might be just what he needs. Don’t forget, Jordan was in the league almost as long as LeBron has been before he started piling up the trophies in the early 1990s.

Oh and Cleveland, it’s not like you don’t already know this or anything, but if you actually want to win a championship, you’ll have to do better than bringing in an over-the-hill, past-his-prime veteran (ala Shaq) to round out a supporting cast that’s not proven any ability to make a title run.

Good luck to all competitors in the LBJ Sweepstakes! Won’t be long now until we find out who wins.

Oh yeah and let’s not forget about the other super-duperstar free agent players that are on the open market right now (D-Wade, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer, Joe Johnson and several others), many of whose decisions could change the face of the league for the next several years to come.

On a closing note, the Knicks just moments ago agreed in principle with Phoenix Suns standout power forward Amare Stoudemire to a 5-year, 100-million dollar deal. Stoudemire will be reunited with Mike D’Antoni, the former Phoenix coach who left to coach the Knicks a couple years ago. This is a great get for New York, but also leaves them with limited money/negotiating power to get another big-time player. Stay tuned.

Don’t Hate Us, We Were Just on Hiatus …

Let’s turn to the wide, wide world of sports for a second. Since both events are old news (but quite significant), I’m approaching this from a slightly different angle, but let’s just say for starters that the Chicago Blackhawks are NHL Stanley Cup Champions for the first time since 1961 and the L.A. Lakers are NBA World Champions for the first time since … well … last year.

Yep, Chicago took out the miracle-run, eighth-seeded Philadelphia Flyers by winning Game 6 in Philly, and unsurprisingly, Philly fans booed the Blackhawks’ cup-receiving ceremony. Look, it’s hard to condone some of the more boorish behavior of Philadelphia sports fans, and it’s tired pointing out that it’s usually a smaller (but extremely vocal) minority that is largely responsible for the majority of these transgressions. But let’s not overlook the a-hole fans everywhere else in the country (and there are PLENTY). Example? Well, during the NBA Finals series that just concluded last week between the Celtics and Lakers, there was some loud vitriol on both sides. Yes, these two franchises have a long, passionate rivalry with and hatred of each other, but chanting ‘Ugly Sister’ to Lamar Odom when he’s at the foul line (he’s married to Khloe Kardashian) is kind of wrong. As is Laker fans having applauded when Celtics center Kendrick Perkins suffered a series-ending injury in Game 6 in L.A. Indeed, assholes will be around everywhere in the world at any given time. We must share their air-space unfortunately, but it’s a fact of life. To quote Dark Helmet in Spaceballs – “Keep Firing, Assholes!” Actually, it would be better if they didn’t.

To sum up, these were hard-fought, emotional wins for both these franchises (Blackhawks and Lakers), even though Kobe was pretty dreadful in the clinching Game 7 (6-for-24 from the field while still ending up with over 20 points). It didn’t feel like he had a huge hand in the comeback (Celtics led by 13 at one point in the first half). He’s a phenomenal player, but the Kobe vs. Jordan comparisons still need to stop, as far as I’m concerned. It’s a topic that can be debated for a long time with plenty of valid points and counterpoints, but right now, Jordan is still King Shit when it comes to the greatest players of the past 20-25 years (or maybe ever). People within or under the 30-35 year age range usually just say he’s the best ever and that’s it, but I’m hesitant to do that, and you should be too if you have respect for the history of the game. Players like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Bill Russell, Oscar Robertson, Wilt Chamberlain and a handful of others were as legendary in their own time and in their own way. But what Jordan did in the 1990s WAS pretty incredible. This is how revisionist history usually works though. Whatever is most recent stands out as most vivid in our recollection.

Oh and apparently, there’s some other sort of competition going on now that only occurs once every four summers in which physically fit men from various nations around the globe run themselves roughshod on a huge grass field for 90-plus minutes and attempt to kick a spherical, black-and-white ball into a net guarded by a keeper and defensive players on an opposing team from another country.

From what I’m told, it’s kind of a big deal (much like Ron Burgundy when he was hitting on Veronica Corningstone for the first time).

Okay, all sarcasm aside, I appreciate that soccer is by far the most popular sport globally. Despite an ever-increasing awareness of it in the U.S., it doesn’t seem like it will ever overtake our most popular sports here in the states (i.e. football, baseball, basketball, NASCAR, golf, etc.). It’s hard not to respect the fact that as soon as you leave the U.S. borders, ‘football’ rules no matter where you go.

And I’m not surprised the U.S. can’t seem to make significant strides either (and neither should you be) when it comes to this sport. In what world would it make sense for us (‘us’ being the United States) to be successful in a sport that’s probably barely in our Top 10 in terms of popularity when most of the rest of the countries in the world treat it like a religion?

Sure, when it comes to sports, us half-assing it sometimes equals the best effort from another nation (see the U.S. Men’s Hockey Team’s Olympic Gold Medal run earlier this year for proof).

But not when it comes to this sport. There are just way too many passionate fans, skilled players and people from other countries that invest almost everything they have emotionally into this (particularly countries that have little else to celebrate). Frankly, the U.S. has no business competing with the best of the best. I’ll be shocked if they even advance out of their group. But with sports, you just never know.

What’s up chickens? The Playa is back from Vacationality, and Holy Shnykees was it a much-needed getaway. Some highlights for the constituency.

* First stop was Phoenix (and the greater Phoenix area), in the wonderful and somewhat lawless land known as Arizona. About 20 ‘Don’t forget your papers!’ jokes later from family and friends, there we were in the land of dry heat, cacti and people wearing as little as allowed by law (which again, is not very strict in Arizona). My wife and I stayed with her brother in Mesa, and also spent a good deal of time hanging out with her friend in Tempe, a Ph.D. student at Arizona State.

In general, keep this in mind: any southwestern/Mexican/Tex Mex-themed food in this area is going to be good. It just is. Can’t go wrong. Mostly anything else is standard, as in it’s no better or worse than you could get it in many other places. Well, except maybe for Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix, rated the country’s best by a few different sources (we didn’t make it there this time).

We tom-catted around the area for a few days, and I of course (if you recall from a reference in my last entry) attended the Phoenix Suns-L.A. Lakers Western Conference Playoffs (Game 3) with said brother-in-law. Quite an event. Amare Stoudemire exploded for 42 points and Phoenix won to trim its series deficit to 2-1. Of course the Lakers won the series, as we know by now, but it was nice to attend a winning effort for the home team. Oh and they gave away ugly orange t-shirts to everyone in attendance (my wife promptly made mine part of her ‘pajamas’ rotation). I’m sure Lakers fans that showed up probably threw them in the trash or urinated on them or something. One of the more memorable moments? Hitting an overcrowded men’s room afterward on our way back to the car to hear a dude waltz in behind us, chanting at the top of his lungs “Kobe’s a rapist!” My brother-in-law righteously, but somewhat quietly, commented ‘Dude, that’s inappropriate.’ I don’t think the guy even heard him.

The following day, we road-tripped up north in our rental car to check out Sedona and the Red Rocks area, which is pretty incredible.

Lots of extremely red mountainous structures, traffic roundabouts (which weirdly enough almost worked better than traffic lights), and charming little shops. The four of us chowed down at Red Rock BBQ at a nice outdoor table.

Overall, good times in the AZ.

* Next stop – New Orelans. That’s right folks, the Big Easy. We had familiar faces in this city also. Friends of ours who live about a mile away in NY met us down there while also visiting family of theirs outside the N.O.

I mean, how do you sum up this city exactly? So unique, so unlike anywhere else I’ve ever been. The music is incredible. Even at the touristy, loud, obnoxious Bourbon Street bars, there’s cover bands playing live music (Journey! Bon Jovi!) instead of some DJ spinning the latest sounds of Kesha or Lady Antebellum. Our first night, we found ourselves at a place called ‘The Spotted Cat’ where we saw an incredible live N.O.-style jazz quintet. Simply awesome.

The Big Easy also has some incredible food. We had some great meals. Probably my favorite place though? Mother’s Southern Deli on Poydras, in the central business district. Holy crap was this place amazing. Perfect for any occasion – hungover, sober, by yourself, with friends, just for the hell of it, whatever. You order at the counter, grab a beverage, take a number, sit down and wait for the food. The wife and I split two dishes evenly – the Famous Ferdi Special Sandwich and the Combination Platter. The sandwich has Mother’s World Famous Best Baked Ham, Roast Beef, and countless other delicious ingredients rounding it all out. The combo platter is heaven on a plate – five different mini-mounds of food including jumbalaya, red beans’n’rice, Etouffe (which is kind of like a delicious sea food platter), potato salad and collard greens with turnips. Holy Cow. No other meal truly compared.

We took one day to cruise out to suburban Slidell with our friends and do a swamp tour, where we saw one of the biggest goddamn alligators ever created, named El Guapo (the tour guide pronounced it ‘El Wapo’ though). This thing was 15 feet long, about 1,000 pounds, and is 75 years old (the males usually live about 90 years). It came right up to our boat. I thought about taunting him for a second, and then decided that I like having my arm attached to my body. We had a great seafood meal afterward at our friend’s father’s house in Slidell, including freshly caught-and-boiled crab along with fresh shrimp, crawfish, corn-on-the-cob, rolls and other goodies.

By the way, let me leave you with this thought (as if many people who’ve been to N.O. don’t already know this) – Bourbon Street is basically like Sodom and Gomorrah come to life. It’s like you’re an outcast if you’re NOT sinning in some way. It’s an alcohol-fueled, noisy paradise of 24/7 party-all-the-time fun. Bourbon itself is closed off to traffic for several blocks, but through traffic can pass by on the intersecting streets. It just has everything. No open-container laws, lots of greasy food, bar after bar, strip clubs piled on top of one another with scantily clad broads advertising why their place is the best. It’s a real scene, man. Even if this type of deal isn’t so much your thing, it’s worth walking up and down it once or twice, especially on a happening night, just for the experience.

And then we were on a plane back to the Big Apple, where everyone moves like their ass is on fire and there’s no time to relax. Yep, things move at an easier pace down in Nola, and people are definitely more stress-free. An attorney friend of mine is leaving his high-pressure, long-hours job in NYC for a position down there. He’s probably adding another 5-10 years onto his life expectancy.

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Okay, it’s a little ‘after the fact’, but about the umpire (Jim Joyce) who robbed Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga of a perfect game this past week in a 3-0 Tigers victory over the Cleveland Indians, how about if MLB mans up for once and grows a pair already?

Is there any professional sports organization more apathetic and ‘clingy with tradition’ than baseball? Really MLB? You can’t reverse an obviously blown call with two outs in the ninth to give a perfect game to a young pitcher who grossly deserves it? I’m pretty sure you can actually, because you’ve reversed decisions in years past that weren’t always popular (George Brett, Pine Tar game in ’83) and somehow, we all moved on. Let’s not pretend it’s any different this time. Considering the backdrop of certain current dynamics within the sport of Major League Baseball (the continued black eye of steroids over the game, the fact that there’s still no HGH testing for players, no instant replay of any kind), it’s in no way surprising that there aren’t anywhere near as many fans and overall supporters as there was as little as 12-15 years ago, despite the fact that at that time the game was recovering from a crippling strike that still had many folks fuming with anger.

Weirdly enough, the most positive aspect of this unfortunate situation is the class and dignity with which both Joyce and Galarraga have handled it. Joyce, rightfully so, was as remorseful as anything I’ve ever seen from an official over a single call. This is only fair, since perfect games come along on average about once every six years (by the way, this would have been the third this season – a completely underrated but incredibly strange subplot). But I give the guy a pass. He reacted appropriately (admitted he was wrong, tears in public, hugging the pitcher and apologizing to him in person).

And I’m pretty sure that just about everyone on the planet has royally fucked up in life at least a few times at his/her job at one point. It’s so much easier to see how this is all unfolding from the comfort of home on HD TVs with 10 instant slow-mo replays from multiple camera angles. I’d absolutely hate to be in charge of making the right call as stuff is happening at lightning speed right in front of your face 30-40 times a game. Not an easy job. We should all be glad that most of us have occupations in which we’re not counted on to get it 100 percent right every time in a nano-second flash about 40 times per game in a 162-game season (not counting playoffs). It’s just incredibly unfortunate that this wrong call altered an otherwise historical event.

Once again, I blame MLB way more than anyone else. Put an impartial mediator in a booth somewhere who can be in charge of discretionary instant replay. This person is obviously not going to suggest it for the same type of play that Joyce botched if it were a 10-1 game in the ninth inning, but it would have certainly been a good idea on Wednesday night in Detroit.

Well, now THAT was close

This is probably what the Boston Celtics, or at the very least their fans, are saying after Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals in this 2009-10 NBA Playoffs.

The C’s, after doing the unthinkable in the previous round by eliminating the infallible LeBron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers from the playoffs in 6 games, waltzed into the O-Rena in Orlando and escaped with an almost too-close-for-comfort 92-88 victory despite a dominant performance for the first three quarters and slightly beyond.

Sometimes it’s just funny how easy it is to forget that stuff can change rapidly within the course of a 48-minute game. It didn’t look at any point like a Magic comeback would be anywhere in the cards. Like, not even David Copperfield’s brand of magic could get this Magic back into it. Okay, probably not the best comparison, but you get the idea.

Seriously, Boston is clearly the straight-up tougher team (maybe the toughest in the league). A friend who’s a Boston sports fan posted on facebook about halfway through the game that he was watching the Celts punch the Orlando Magic in the mouth, which pretty much summed things up at the time. They’re sort of like the Bad Boy Pistons-era teams in terms of their ‘Don’t Eff With Us’ vibe. But it’s kind of business as usual for the Celtics. This is the brand of ball they play regularly, and it’s what they did to oust Miami and then Cleveland from the postseason over the past few weeks.

Orlando took a decidedly less challenging path to get here, bull-whipping veteran-less, leadership-lacking and overmatched squads Charlotte and Atlanta to reach the EC Finals. Alright, maybe that’s a little unfair, but not entirely inaccurate. Let’s put it this way … the Magic shouldn’t be counted out, and have plenty of skills. In terms of matching up, executing, playing defense and hitting shots, they’re certainly not worlds apart from Boston. The Celts do have a championship season under their belt from two years ago, something the Magic don’t have.

But the most crucial difference, unless Orlando toughens up in a hurry, is the fact that the C’s are just better at getting in there and making things happen by sheer force of will. It didn’t help that the Magic started off with such a cold shooting performance in the first half. But they showed their intestinal fortitude and battled back to make it close by the end of the fourth quarter. Problem there is, Boston has been in that situation many times before and is never the one to lay down and roll over either.

No matter what, the rest of this series promises to be as intriguing as Game 1 was. But the C’s snaking Game 1 on foreign soil was a hugely positive way for Boston to kick this series off.

Oh and one last thing … for all of Orlando’s depth (which is considerable), it didn’t seem to matter which lineup Stan Van Gundy (or as my wife likes to call him, thanks to me, Ron Jeremy) put in there. Boston had an answer no matter whether the Magic went small-and-fast, or bigger with a more patient half-court type of game, or a combination of the two. Dwight Howard made his presence felt and had some impressive moments (killer defense, lots of blocks). But tough, smart, minimal-mistakes play will always hold up in the end (see Boston, Game 1 of this series).


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One other nugget of information that probably warrants mentioning … through some inexplicable amalgamation of timing, impulse-purchasing and circumstance, I’ll be attending Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals series between the defending champion Los Angeles Lakers and the Phoenix Suns, taking place in Phoenix next Sunday. This is what happens when an opportunistic vacation destination and a little advance research intersect. I’ve got Lower Level Baseline seats for my brother-in-law and me. I’ll be sure to file a full report as soon as possible afterward, but since El Presidente will be taking a much-needed vacation at that time and the full week after, I’m going to have to take a wait-and-see approach as to when that actually happens.

Either way, this factoid transitions perfectly into the other NBA Playoff Series that will be taking place leading up to the Finals. Suns vs. Lakers is what I was hoping for, and by all accounts it should be quite the thrill-ride. The Lakers have the size and experience advantage, while the Suns have the inimitable Steve Nash, are riding a wave of momentum and possess an unlikely group of players that have somehow found their own formula for postseason success. In the WC Semifinals, Phoenix swept the Spurs … the four-time-in-the-past-13-years-champion San Antonio Spurs. That dynasty is pretty much over. So it seems like anything is possible. But then, there’s also the hope that they didn’t release all of their chi by now, if you get my drift.

And check it out nerds, I’m basically promising to hit you all off with some more fresh material on the regular. After all, a president can’t effectively govern when he (or she, relax ladies) only surfaces once in the blue. Ya feel me? And if ya don’t know, now ya KNOW.

What in the Name of …

… the NBA Playoffs is happening exactly? The Boston Celtics … that’s right, the aging, lifeless, couldn’t-care-less, going-through-the-motions, not-going-to-win-the-2010-NBA-Title Boston Celtics … are tied at 1-1 with the mighty, top-seeded Cleveland Cavaliers after decisively winning Game Two (104-86) of their Eastern Conference Semifinal Playoff Series.

Oh, and for at least the first half and well into the third quarter, it looked for all the world like they were going to win Game One also, until King James (Lebron, as if anyone doesn’t already know that) spearheaded a courageous comeback effort to give Cleveland the win.

Brings to mind that classic adage ‘This is why they play the game.’

I’ll admit, I didn’t see this coming really, although I was impressed by how tough Boston looked against Miami in the first round. Granted, the Heat didn’t have what it takes to go far in the playoffs this year, but Boston looked like a completely different team than the out-of-sorts, inconsistent, who-gives-a-crap group that slogged its way through much of the regular season.

I guess they were saving it for the playoffs, which is kind of what a lot of these teams have to do these days, it seems. It’s a long-ass regular season, and these guys take quite a beating physically. It’s not the same type of beating that NFL Players have to put up with, but it’s a wear-and-tear on the body that has equally, or possibly more, debilitating effects that are caused in a different way. It usually makes me wonder how many times players are actually dogging it out there when they seem like they’d rather be anywhere else, or if it’s authentic exhaustion.

Either way, don’t look away just yet because the Boston Frigging Celtics actually have a fighting chance to dethrone the seemingly impenetrable Cavs. I can just see Lebron’s reaction if that happens. Last year after Orlando ousted Cleveland in the Eastern Conference Finals, it was pretty well publicized that James immediately fled the court and refused to speak with the media. He later acknowledged this, indicating that his frustration in those first stinging moments after such a loss got the better of him, but it seems insane that this far into his unbelievable career he is still without a championship ring – and still might be in June. Wouldn’t THAT be some shit.

There’s still a lot of ball left to play, but right now it looks like Cleveland will have to work its ass off to be the champ this year. It’s amazing how the tide can turn from regular season to playoffs. For those first 82 games, it appeared to be only a matter of time before the Cavs would be standing tall, trophy in hand and a grinning David Stern at their side in mid-June. During that same stretch Boston looked like a washed-up contingent of overpaid superstars coasting on their reputation and past glories.

Now? The C’s are putting on a clinic these days and looking tough, pissed off and ready to take down anyone. They’re obviously playing with a bit of a chip on their shoulder since, you know, whenever anyone talks about the teams with a shot to win it all this year Boston is immediately excluded from the conversation. Probably a mistake. Can’t wait to see how the rest of this series plays out.

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Oh yeah, as for those other series … well, Atlanta needed 7 games to put away feisty Milwaukee in Round 1 while Orlando put it in cruise control to beat Charlotte. The emergence of Jameer Nelson as a top-tier playoff point guard for the Magic takes them to another level. With their depth on the bench, Nelson running the point and Dwight Howard killing it on the boards and on defense, Orlando is going to be a tough out. The series with the Hawks hasn’t even started yet, but I’d put the Big O back into the EC Finals right now.

Out west, Utah was eliminated by the L.A. Lakers the last two years running in the NBA Playoffs. Who took Game One of their Western Conference Semifinals series Sunday? The Lakers. Who closed out game one? (which really could have gone either way) – Kobe Bryant. A lot of us would love to see the Jazz flip the script this year, but this type of stuff just doesn’t happen usually (especially to a team that loses its two most valuable big men going up against a squad with a couple of talented 7-footers in the low post – Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum). Despite the best efforts of Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer and the rest of Utah’s team, Hollywood will likely move on.

And finally, we’ve got Phoenix vs. San Antonio, which should actually be a barn-burner of a series. Run-and-gun Suns vs. the controlled style of play from the grizzled veteran Spurs. Phoenix took game one, and although the Spurs have that patience and championship caliber of players, the Suns seem to have that look in their collective eye this time. Dudes like Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire and Grant Hill want it bad this year. The Spurs are always going to be peskier than a roomful of fruit flies in July, but if we’re lucky, Manu Ginobili’s busted nose and one too many satisfied-with-previous-titles Spurs vets won’t be able to dig S.A. out of the fire this time. (Is it difficult to tell who I’d like to win this series, by the way?). Suns-Lakers would be one hell of an entertaining WC Finals.

Any thoughts? Anyone else mildly obsessed with the NBA Playoffs this year? What’s that? NHL Playoffs? Baseball? Yeah, I think I’ve heard of those things before.