Where Have all the Good Teams Gone?

Friends, Van Halen might ask you - particularly if it were 1978 - Where Have all the Good Times Gone?

My question to the many rabid consumers of the National Football League's product, however, is 'Where have all the Good TEAMS gone?'

We weren't even halfway through the regular season by the time we were all out of unbeaten teams. And the last unbeaten team left this year? The Kansas City Chiefs! Not the Colts, or the Patriots, or the Steelers. The Dad-blasted CHIEFS! Indy lost its season opener to the Houston Texans for chrissakes. The Dallas Cowboys? That team that had the best shot of any so far to actually host the Super Bowl because they were supposed to be so 'unbeatable' this year? Yeah, they just fired head coach Wade Phillips after a 1-7 start.

So what, I ask you, in the name of all that is righteous and just in this world, is happening in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!? You like parity. Yeah, we got your parity right here, tough guy! No unbeatens left. No one-loss teams left either. In fact, here we are at the halfway mark of the regular season, and we only have five teams with two losses (NY Giants, Atlanta, NY Jets, New England, Pittsburgh). Even more looney tunes than that is the fact that are no less than 7 different 3-loss teams that are totally legit Super Bowl contenders, even though they've looked like far less than such at various points this year (Philadelphia, Green Bay, New Orleans, Baltimore, Indy, Tennessee, K.C.).

There are a boatload of Super Bowl matchup possibilities right now. So why in the name of Lindsay Lohan's parole officer would I ever try to guess how things are going to play out? It's going to be plain meaningless, I tell you. Right? Well, maybe. But there's always a chance! (I'm like Lloyd Christmas in 'Dumb & Dumber').

My preseason Super Bowl pick was Green Bay-Baltimore. Not impossible by any means, but in this free-for-all season, why should that pick have any more credibility right now than, say, Giants-Patriots, or Eagles-Steelers? It shouldn't! But based on what I've observed this year, plus history, my impression is as follows.

NFC - Most consistent team in the NFC has apparently been the New York Football Giants. They don't play stupid and they don't beat themselves. I would love to believe the Eagles have a shot at winning the division - which they do. But how strong are their chances of actually pulling this off? I think we'll learn a lot after Monday night's Eagles-Redskins matchup in D.C. Last month, Donovan McNabb and the 'Skins came to Philly and stole away a victory. The other best teams in the NFC appear to be Green Bay, Atlanta and New Orleans. The defending Super Bowl champ Saints have visibly struggled at times this year, but they're built for a championship run as long as they stay healthy. NFC title game pick, at gunpoint? Yeesh. Not easy, but I'm going to say Giants vs. Atlanta or Green Bay. Sorry I have to worm out of that pick with an 'or' qualifier, but it's just way too difficult to call where we stand now. With that in mind, I do think Atlanta is the hotter team right now. Giants-Falcons.

AFC - It's going to be a knock-down, drag-out, UFC-style brawl to see who's going to emerge as top dog in the AFC. There are literally 8 teams that can push for/make it into the AFC championship. Just look at the record of the top two teams in each of the four divisions of the AFC and you'll see what I mean. It's insane. But again, I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are a cut above everyone else right now. In fact, if I absolutely had to name a favorite at this point in time, I'm going with Big Ben and Co. (as long as they stay away from underage girls in nightclubs at 2 a.m.). Sorry Steelers fans, I had to. Anyway, who will be the last two squads standing the AFC? Pittsburgh will be one of them. An AFC East team will probably be the other one. Jets or Patriots, methinks. Tonight's Steelers-Patriots showdown might be huge in determining how things will play out. My heart says Steelers-Jets for the AFC title game. But my brain says Steelers-Patriots (I'd much rather see the Jets. Like most people, I'm flat-out sick of the Pats and all the goddamn Tom Brady adulation. I'm also sick of his Justin Bieber haircut).

So there we have it. I could be completely missing the mark here, folks, and I'll be the first to admit it. The way this season is going, I wouldn't even be all that shocked to see a Kansas City-Chicago Super Bowl. Have fun - the next few months will be exciting for sure.

Into the Great Wide Open

Holy Cow has this been a weird football season, for both the NFL and college ranks.

I can’t remember when I’ve ever been this far into a season and still had no real certifiable gauge on who the best teams really are. Yeah sure, we’ve got our list of usual suspects (Steelers, Patriots in the NFL, and a few others – more on the Pros in the next entry), but even the best of the best are nowhere near as invincible as they seem in other years.

This is no more apparent anywhere than in Division I college football (I refuse to start calling it ‘FBS’ – that stupid acronym that took the place of ‘Division I-A’ a few years ago even though nobody officially seemed to tell anyone else. I don’t even know what FBS stands for. I would have to google it to find out. And that, my friends, is a problem).

Back on track – the top two teams in the country, as of the latest BCS standings, are Oregon and Auburn. Who’s holding tight at Nos. 3 and 4? TCU and Boise State. What the Word-that-rhymes-with-truck is that all about? Even the one SEC team that’s in the top two right now isn’t a name that’s usually in the “national title contender” conversation. It’s truly a wide open year, and the craziest thing is that Boise State might still go undefeated, having won each game handily, and still get left out in the cold in a season when all of the ‘big-name’ programs (i.e. Florida, Texas, Alabama, USC, Ohio State, etc.) may very well not make the championship game. Don’t you love it? Either that, or it makes you want to hurl something through a plate-glass window.

And the most recent brouhaha that has the college football world abuzz centers on Auburn quarterback Cam Newton, who apparently may have accepted a few hundred thousand dollars worth of ‘pot-sweetener’ to name the university of his choice. No allegations have been proven yet, but it certainly wouldn’t be unthinkable for some schools out there to shelve a player simply for the black cloud that such rumblings bring along. I doubt we’ll see that happen with the Tigers, who haven’t been this close to a national championship game in decades. Newton would have to be exposed beyond a shadow of a doubt before we see him get benched, considering the Heisman-like performance he’s had this year.

Oregon has the best shot of making the title game. They’re at the top of the pile and they control their own destiny. They’ve got the most favorable schedule and an absolutely insanely prolific offense, which means their defense doesn’t even need to be fantastic – merely serviceable – in order for them to keep winning games. TCU and Boise State are lurking at 3 and 4 – boy, wouldn’t it be mind-boggling to see a school from a non-automatic BCS qualifying conference make it into the championship game.

But don’t be at all surprised if any one of a handful of one-loss major-conference schools hovering right behind TCU and Boise – such as LSU, Stanford, Wisconsin, Nebraska or Ohio State – leapfrog the Horned Frogs and Broncos into the title game to face either Auburn or Oregon.

Then we’d have the same old up-in-arms story. The same old arguments. The same controversy. Some would say that’s a big element of what makes this sport so much fun and so enthralling. Others would say it’s a huge part of what makes it maddeningly frustrating and impossible for less-than-major schools to fairly win a championship.

Good or bad, I say it’s a little bit of both.