Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

As Jay-Z said on his classic 1996 debut Reasonable Doubt, ya'll know the time like Movado.

Enough with the chit-chat, let's talk about what happened in that there old National Football League this past weekend!

Detroit 19, Washington 14

And we begin with the most notable event of the sports weekend. Sorry Yankee fans - everyone knows, and is not surprised, that you clinched the AL East Division title. In other shocking news, the sun came up this morning. But the Detroit Lions won a football game for the first time since 2007! For the first time in almost 2 years, people in this socio-economically ravaged city had something to celebrate. Good for the city of Detroit. This is about the best thing to happen in the Big D since 8 Mile. Speaking of which, it's been about 5 minutes since Eminem released a new joint about painkillers. Come on Marshall, stop slacking! I'll tell you who else needs to stop slacking - the Redskins. I wouldn't want to be whomever plays them next weekend. Talk about an embarrassing run of upcoming practices. Picture their conditioning coach. "What's that? How many more laps? Riddle me this - how many points did the Detroit *&%^ing Lions score against us?! That's right, now keep running!"

Green Bay 36, St. Louis 17

The Pack is back. We all know fans of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE will be waiting with baited breath for those two Green Bay-Minnesota NFC North Division battles this season. It'll be the flip-flopping gunslinger (Brett Favre) against his old signature franchise. That will be appropriately surreal. Meanwhile, the St. Louis Rams continue to play like dog poop. Actually, I'd spot dog poop 7.5 points against the Rams and put down 20 bucks on it. If nothing else, it would at least be fun to watch.

Minnesota 27, San Francisco 24

This had to be the best game of the day, right? I'm getting behind the Niners this season, that's all there is to it. Strangely, their effectiveness originates from a style of play that is the very antithesis to their hallmark traits (finesse on both sides of the ball, a wide open passing attack and a franchise, Hall-of-Fame receiver in Jerry Rice) during their Super Bowl 80s-and-90s heyday. This time around, they're built on defense and a solid ground game. The Vikings still pulled this one out though, thanks to a jaw-dropping bullet of a TD pass by Favre to Greg Lewis in the VERY back of the end zone with 2 seconds left. That ball looked like it was launched out of a cannon. I hate to be the skeptic - but no 39 year-old man (practically 40) should be capable of that kind of throw. I don't know where we go from here. Maybe Herman Munster will throw Jimmy Rollins out at home plate from right field during the NL Divisional Round playoffs in a couple weeks.

New England 26, Atlanta 10

And you thought the Patriots were done? Really? I heard a good bit of talk about taking Atlanta and the points in this one. Writing the Pats off a bit early, methinks. This isn't to say that Tom Brady (or the defense) is the same as he (they) used to be. But this is still New England.

NY Jets 24, Tennessee 17

Holy Gang Green batman! I know Jets fans, you don't want anyone jinxing you just yet. Fair enough. But that defense - yama hama. It's almost as if Rex Ryan's football IQ increases with each bite of food. Meanwhile, Tennessee has to be the best damn 0-3 team in the league. Some tough losses for them. And in other news you don't hear every day (or ever for that matter) - the Jets are unbeaten and in first place in the AFC East!

Philadelphia 34, Kansas City 14

Speaking of coaches and food, Andy Reid did some rabbit-out-of-the-hat type stuff with Westbrook and McNabb sidelined, and Michael Vick rendered highly ineffective by the fact that he still pretty much sucks when it comes to going head-to-head with a real, live NFL defense. Then again, this WAS Kansas City - and the Chiefs are pretty putrid thus far. Are the Eagles a real contender in the NFC? Still a bit early to tell. I see them beating the teams that they should, but not the teams that they shouldn't. Super Bowl? Who knows. But one thing is clear - the Kevin Kolb jokes should at least slow down. Back-to-back 300-plus-yard passing performances isn't exactly a routine occurrence.

NY Giants 24, Tampa Bay 0

I've already devoted more time than I should to this one. By the way, does anybody make winning more boring than the Giants? Seriously. ESPN2's coverage of De La Salle (Calif.) vs. Lakeland, Fla. in the high school game of the week Friday night was more entertaining than this. As you can tell, my Friday nights are typically raging.

Baltimore 34, Cleveland 3

Also not worth discussing. I have Browns WR Braylon Edwards on my fantasy team. My fantasy is that he learns how to catch a football. Hey Braylon, please go to Ebay and type in 'pair of hands.' Whatever comes up, just invest in it. It's bound to be an improvement. And even though the Ravens win primarily with their defense, this is a solid all-around team. I would not be surprised to see Baltimore playing for the Lombardi Trophy next February, and I'm not kidding.

Jacksonville 31, Houston 24

Great game between two teams that nobody really cares about. Every year we hear about how awesome the Jags are going to be, or how Houston has finally gotten it together, but it just doesn't seem to pan out. This division is awful this year. Just hand the AFC South to the Colts right now. Peyton could sleepwalk until November and Indy would still get the division title.

New Orleans 27, Buffalo 7

Is this the year of the Saints? I'd love to see New Orleans' offense against Baltimore's defense. This, I would pay for, without hesitation. Hey Drew Brees, stop already. Take it easy on these mere mortals, will you? You're going to give these other QBs and defenses a complex already. Did somebody turn on Drew's Madden switch before the season started? And the Saints' D isn't even as porous as usual lately. Stay tuned - these boys from the Big Easy mean business in the oh-nine.

Chicago 25, Seattle 19

Oy vey - the Seahawks might literally be better off withOUT Hasselbeck starting. Bears fans - don't expect Jay Cutler to take you to the promised land. Expect him to whine when he doesn't get his way, or show flashes of brilliance every now and again .. but please don't be fooled into thinking you've found your Super Bowl QB. I implore you.

San Diego 23, Miami 13

Watching this game on TV made me remember oh-so-painfully that I'm NOT in San Diego, where it is eternally 70 degrees, sunny and nobody has a care in the world. Easy for the Chargers to be in their comfort zone I guess. Miami is feisty, but I feel like they're going to lose a lot of games like this. Still a few years away. Besides, we all know the AFC East currently belongs to the J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS! Okay, I just wanted an excuse to do the silly Jets chant.

Cincinnati 23, Pittsburgh 20

The defending Super Bowl champs are 1-2. Don't laugh - maybe Hard Knocks is a good luck charm for the Bengals. It wasn't for the Cowboys last year. Honestly, division battles are totally a crap shoot. A team's skill level doesn't even matter. If the Bengals are supposed to beat the Steelers on a given day, the Bengals are going to beat the Steelers. Enjoy it though, Cincy. This isn't happening for you every week (or even every other week for that matter).

Denver 23, Oakland 3

See, I knew Kyle Orton was a winner! Okay, I actually knew no such thing. But the Broncos, as much or more than any other team right now, are definitely a well-meshed unit. In the toilet bowl that is the AFC West, the Broncos are looking like the toilet brush that's going to do the house cleaning. See, and you thought my analogies were only going to go downhill. Don't worry, I'll never let you down, I swear.

Indianapolis 31, Arizona 10

Kurt Warner probably wishes he was working at Pathmark again after this performance. Actually, I take that back. As someone who worked in a Pathmark in north Jersey for a few months many moons ago, I can honestly say that even a sub-par outing at quarterback during a prime-time, nationally-televised game trumps bagging groceries. Hey, come on now, I was a cashier too. Anyway, in the 'completely predictable news' department, the Colts ran their offense with unstoppable precision, and the defense rose to the occasion, shutting down a dangerous Arizona offense on its home turf. I sense a shape-shifting in the NFC West. San Fran anyone?

Alright kiddos, as we know, the NFL is always scintillating. Hope you enjoyed the games.

In other happenings, I'd like to say Mazel Tov to those who observed Yom Kippur today. In a related story, my best friend and I at age 7 (or maybe 8) always saw Yom Kippur on the calendar and thought it was a person. In fact, I often confused Yom Kippur with Yul Brenner. If you're wondering how many Jewish people there are, generally speaking, in the greater coal region area of east central Pennsylvania, let's just say there's, um, quite a lack of said folks. Which makes it all the more amusing to me that I married a Jewish woman not even a full four months ago.

Cheers, until tomorrow when I'm 'back up in your ass with the resurrection' to talk about the Dallas-Carolina Monday night game and Sunday night's new episodes of Mad Men and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Young men in College, Acquiring the Knowledge

Alright, look, it's not what you think. There are several hundred 18-to-22 year-old physically gifted men in the collegiate ranks of major universities throughout our vast country getting more than one type of education. Classes and academia are stressful enough. Should they really be interfering with the process of college football? Hardly fair, right?

There has been a small but somewhat vocal segment of individuals who believe college athletes operating at the highest level should be paid. Though I understand the thought process, it seems that doing so would open a ton of slippery doors, few of them good.

Debates aside (the institution of a Division I-A playoff system is probably the most popular right now), college football is far from boring. Each week is a breath-defying rollercoaster. Conversations such as 'What? X-Team lost? Really? To who? By how much? Are they still in the hunt for a national title?' unfold every weekend, and probably always will. Purists love to say that every weekend is like a playoff in a sense, leading up to the final game for each bowl-worthy team. One slip-up can cost you the chance at the ultimate glory. What could be more exciting than that, right?

Except that a playoff would initially be exciting, just because it would be so new and different.

In summary, there is no easy answer, at the very least certainly none that wouldn't piss off a lot of people. But the most important issues of the day are always that way, aren't they? (health care, how to restructure the economy, whether or not Megan Fox is a horrible person). Okay, so some debates take precedence over others. The most hotly-debated topics are the ones that drive the dynamic of our overall collective consciousness at a given time. Please just remember, there will probably usually be a greater number of stupid, ridiculous inane thoughts than there will provocative or well-planned ones. I kindly direct you to the 'comments' section of pretty much any youtube video or web page article (with some exceptions here and there).

So what does this have to do with college football? Not necessarily a whole lot. But it ideally gives a sense of the general variety of ideas that will be discussed in this regular (hopefully) entry reflecting the happenings of our time.

Aside from spending time with family and friends, most of us enjoy or escape in similar pursuits, yes? Movies, music, television, sports, reading. There are others, but those are quite popular choices. You know - popular culture. And they're the ones I dig the most.

And when it's football season, it's often difficult for me to substantively focus on much else during the weekends.

If all goes according to master plan, you can stop on by playapresident.blogspot.com for a recap of Saturday's college and Sunday's pro football action. I'll try to make it interesting enough such that you can read thoughts about these games that you can't find just anywhere else. Otherwise, why the heck would you be here? (unless you're a longtime fan. Thank you, try the veal, it's delicious!).

With that out of the way, here's a recap of the notable results from Week 4 of the 2009 college football season, primarily as it relates to the Top 25, and what I think it means at the moment.

No. 1 Florida 41, Kentucky 7 - No trouble for the Gators here, and no surprises either. All 22 starting players (11 on offense, 11 on defense) are back for Florida from its defending national championship team. Tim Tebow has summoned the power of God as his team attempts to flatten everything in its path yet again this season. Hey Tim, you have the big man's ear, clearly, seeing as how you've won the Heisman and a couple national titles already. Can you, like, put in a good word for me with the big guy? Maybe a winning Mega Millions ticket? An Arby's within walking distance of my apartment? Come on, I don't want that much.

No. 2 Texas 64, UTEP 7 - Not much to say about this one. Colt McCoy and the Longhorns are sitting pretty. By most accounts, Texas and Florida will meet in the national title game. Also, neither has faced an actual strong opponent yet, so let's chill out with all that talk for now, correct? And by the way, can anyone enlighten me as to what exactly the Texas motto 'Hook 'em Horns' is supposed to mean? Is it an imploring of certain cattle-like animals to hook your adversaries with their long tusk-like horns, thus turning their day into an undeniably unpleasant experience? Does it mean good luck? Is no harm meant by it at all? I need some answers here.

No. 3 Alabama 35, Arkansas 7 - Another yawn-fest. Nick Saban, one of the more detested individuals in the sporting world after his jerk-around tactics with some of his former teams, has 'Bama looking pretty awesome. They were young last year and still played in a major BCS bowl game (which they lost, convincingly, to Utah). The only other thing I can think of as it applies to 'Bama is the fact that a friend of mine has a sister that teaches at the University, and thus was able to report to me that workers in local businesses and folks out on the street in the town of Tuscaloosa are fond of saying 'Thank you, Roll Tide' to one another, and even to strangers. Do people in Alabama support the University of Alabama football staunchly? You bet they do. Thank you, Roll Tide.

South Carolina 16, No. 4 Mississippi 10 - Ole Miss, ranked in the top five heading into last Thursday's game against South Carolina for the first time since, well, probably at least the advent of the internet, couldn't live up to its ranking. Many of the players were quoted repeatedly after the loss to Steve Spurrier's Gamecocks as saying they were glad the ranking will fall significantly, and now they can just concentrate on getting back to winning games. Because Lord knows you wouldn't want to win games AND have the high ranking, right? In their defense, the SEC is a brutally tough conference. The Rebels will fall, perhaps out of the top 10. But then, they weren't the only Top 10 team to get handed a loss this weekend. Keep reading, thank you kindly.

Iowa 21, No. 5 Penn State 10 - Iowa had won 6 out of the last 7 against the Nittany Lions heading into this game Saturday night at Happy Valley. Make that 7 of their last 8 now. Kirk Ferentz has job security as long as he can keep doing this to JoePa and company every year. The Nittany Lions' national title hopes, of course, take a significant hit here. Unless the Hawkeyes stay unbeaten and keep winning. They, along with Wisconsin and Michigan, are perched atop the Big 10 for now. Oh and by the way, for anyone who watched this or even saw a few crowd shots on TV, do the PSU fans always douse themselves in white paint like that for home games, or only for primetime, national TV ones? I practically had to reach for my shades a few times. I have to believe that every Home Depot in the greater State College area is re-ordering gallons of white paint first thing Monday morning. Too bad it didn't throw Iowa off all that much. How did the massive amounts of rain not wash it all off either? More confusion. Help please.

Oregon 42, No. 6 California 3 - Holy crow. But whatever. Cal does this every year. They win their first 3 or 4 games by a wide margin and end up on top of the Pac 10 along with USC, then get crushed by some unranked foe. Oregon might be for real, despite the season-long suspension of their running back who was punished for decking a taunting Boise State player after the Ducks' season-opening loss on that god-awful deep-blue field in Montana. The Bears will also fall, but probably not out of the Top 25 completely.

No. 7 LSU 30, Mississippi State 26 - LSU was almost another Top 10 victim this weekend, but the Tigers dug deep for an impressive goal-line stand late in the fourth quarter, on the road no less, to preserve the win. Considering Numbers 4-6 all lost, LSU will probably slide into that No. 4 spot when the new rankings are released. True the Bulldogs are unranked, but the SEC usually gets a lot of pull with the voters.

No. 8 Boise State 49, Bowling Green 14 - The Broncos successfully staved off the west-coast-timezone-team-playing-on-the-east-coast doldrums that so often comes into play in games like this. Not only that, but they were also playing Bowling Green. Hey, not all those non-conference matchups can be winners, right? If the game was at Boise State, it would have been even easier for the Broncos, considering that no visiting team can seem to go play on that insanely off-color field and manage to not look out of sorts. It's their not-so-secret weapon, I'm convinced.

No. 11 Virginia Tech 31, No. 9 Miami (FL) 7 - This was supposed to be an awesome ACC matchup, as the Hurricanes have been a pleasant surprise story this season. But the Hokies pretty much dominated this one from the opening gun. Another wet game too, although the rain doesn't choose sides. Va Tech will most definitely move into the Top 10, Miami most likely won't fall below 20.

No. 10 Oklahoma IDLE - And you know the old adage about 'idle hands being the devil's workshop.' Which, and can I just pontificate for a minute here, what kind of instruments does one suppose the devil is using nowadays? Did he create the Dirt Devil, or is it possible he has an ongoing patent infringement suit against the makers of said product? Oh, and Oklahoma, they'll be fine. Even better as soon as Sam Bradford returns at QB. By virtue of the fact that 4 of the Top 10 teams lost, the Sooners might even move up in the Top 10 despite not having played this past weekend.

No. 12 USC 27, Washington State 6 - Trojans are back in business after last weekend's upset loss against Washington up in that LOUD stadium in Seattle. Don't be shocked if USC also finds itself back in the Top 10.

No. 13 Ohio State 30, Illinois 0 - Terrelle Pryor and the Buckeyes waltzed through Illinois. Not unexpected. Jury is still out on the Big 10. Could be a close race down the stretch.

No. 14 Cincinnati 28, Fresno State 20 - So, like, has Cincinnati ever been ranked this high? They're 4-0 now. Would the Bearcats beat the Cincinnati Bengals? Can we arrange such a meeting? I think if there were a wager involved and the line was anywhere from 10-12, I might actually take the Bearcats. For a more amusing look at the Bengals, be sure to catch Hard Knocks on HBO (probably over by now though). Speaking of which, HBO needs to get its mojo back. The new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, complete with the Seinfeld cast reuniting, will undoubtedly rock, but I could care less about the current vampire crazy (i.e. True Blood), and that new show Bored to Death is, well, let's just say it's appropriately titled.

No. 15 TCU 14, Clemson 10 - The Horned Frogs are in the house! Don't mess with the power of God (see the entry re: Tim Tebow above). Don't expect TCU to end up in a BCS bowl though.

No. 16 Oklahoma State 56, Grambling State 6 - I have very little to say about this game, and if you follow college football, you'll understand why. Let's just say a 50-point victory over Grambling State isn't necessarily going to do a whole lot to help propel the Cowboys up through the rankings. Next up for OK State - McNeese State! Okay, so it's actually Texas A&M. The Aggies aren't getting a whole lot of pub this year though either.

No. 17 Houston 29, Texas Tech 28 - People, Houston is also unbeaten, and ranked way too high for the fact that they are Houston. I'm just kidding. This is nice to see. One thing you can't deny about a playoff - the idea that Houston and Cincinnati could possibly meet for a national football championship is goddamn insane, isn't it? As long as we stay with the ranking-system, it will never happen. The BCS Committee would sooner take a 3-loss Florida team against a 2-loss Texas squad. Ratings people! Cash flow! It's the same reason that Bud Selig probably prays every night before bed that we won't all get a Colorado Rockies-Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim World Series matchup.

South Florida 17, No. 18 Florida State 7 - Who knows what goes on with these Florida teams. I simply don't understand it. One week it looks like the national title belongs in the state of Florida, the next they're losing to the likes of their in-state kid brother. The Gators are the true kings of the Sunshine State for now. Oh and FSU now has 2 losses, so don't expect them to hang around the Top 25 - at least not this week.

No. 19 Brigham Young 42, Colorado State 23 - As expected folks. BYU rebounded from last week's 54-28 drubbing by Florida State. Mormons can play football too, by the way. Speaking of which, if BYU and TCU played each other, would ceremonial religious headgear be allowed? Could you call it a Holy War? Would there be pamphlets handed out at the gate? Would people be more interested in religious conversions than third-down conversions? I have many more questions about such a potential matchup.

No. 20 Kansas 35, Southern Miss 28 - The Jayhawks held on for dear life in this one. Okay, maybe not dear life, but a loss would have probably knocked them out of the Top 25. Other than that, this is basically an entirely unremarkable football event.

No. 21 Georgia 20, Arizona State 17 - Bulldogs win a close one at home. See what I said about west coast teams playing road games on the east coast? It rarely works out for the traveling team. Doesn't seem to affect the east coast teams going the other way as much though. More on this trend as reports develop.

Georgia Tech 24, No. 22 North Carolina 7 - First loss for UNC, and Georgia Tech picks up a quality win after falling from its former Top 20 ranking as a result of its loss to Miami. Not much else of import here. These are a couple of teams that will probably make a bowl game, but one that's more along the lines of such a sponsor name as 'Fanta' or 'the beeper king of New York' rather than, say, 'youtube' or 'google.'

No. 23 Michigan 36, Indiana 33 - Big Blue remains undefeated by squeaking past a previously unbeaten, but still not highly respected, Indiana team at the Big House. And finally we've come to my college allegiance - the University of Michigan. I'm not expecting a whole lot though after last year's 3-9 abomination. A 4-0 start obviously isn't a bad thing, but Iowa, Penn State and Ohio State all wait in the wings. Rich Rod has his work cut out for him.

Stanford 34, No. 24 Washington 14 - Letdown loss for the Huskies after that season-making upset of USC last week. Not to mention a battle between two middle-to-lower tier Pac 10 squads. In a related note, can we get Stanford to stop calling itself, collectively, The Cardinal? Their uniforms are red for chrissakes. They can't just be the Cardinals? Really?

No. 25 Nebraska 55, Louisiana-Lafayette 0 - And the Cornhuskers roll, people. Not much drama here either. Nebraska has a lot of work to do though if it wants to return to its glory day of the mid 90s (three national titles in a four-year span).

Until next week enjoy. And remember - there's really only a handful of teams that are realistically going to get to play for a national title anyway. Folks, that's just the BCS. Love it or leave it.