Thursday, March 31, 2011

'Putting your Patience to the Test'

And so the leadoff track "Machu Picchu" from the fourth album of New York throwback garage-rockers The Strokes opens with this query about the listener's ability to tolerate anything that can be classified as 'annoying.'

Personally, I find it annoying that I had to wait five-plus years for a new album from probably my favorite band on the planet right now.

I find it even more annoying that the reaction to Strokes Album No. 4, 'Angles,' has been so mixed. Overall, probably lukewarm rather than 'scorching hot.' Sure, there are a lot of folks praising the record, happier than Charlie Sheen at a Brazilian brothel that there's new material from Julian Casablancas and crew for the first time since 2006. I guess I was approaching the new record with a bit more guarded optimism - until I heard the first single "Under the Cover of Darkness."


 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwxcQvB_vcQ


Alright, now that's what I'm talking about! The Strokes are back! A bouncy, head-bopping pop rocker replete with those signature high-pitched Strokes guitar riffs, slamming rhythm section and powerful, spot-on Julian vocals. Classic Strokes, right up there with songs like "Last Night" and "Reptilia" in the band's garage/arena rock hall of fame.

Then I heard the rest of the record. And like many, I was taken aback for a moment. Didn't quite know what to think. Not a lot of tracks stood out.



And then, I embarked on listen number two from start to finish. Then number three. After the fifth complete listen, it felt like I had been listening to it for months - and I mean that in a good way. It also doesn't hurt when it's a fast, clean record - about 35-40 minutes total. This hallmark brevity defined the Strokes' style on their first two records, the eponymous smash debut "Is This it?" (2001), and the similarly themed and styled follow-up "Room on Fire" (2003). Of course, 2006's "First Impressions of Earth" saw the band embark into ambitious new territory, and I'll be the first to admit that to date that's their toughest record to get through. But there are still some great songs to be found there.

Most hardcore 'Strokers' (I didn't come up with this name for them, I swear) know the rest ... the next five years saw all but one of the band members record their own solo/side project releases separately, allowing them to flex their creative chops since not having had the opportunity to do so in the Casablancas-heavy songwriting world that is The Strokes.



Cue the more balanced group songwriting and creatively contributory effort that led to 'Angles.' Although many reviewers are calling it 'jumbled,' 'disconnected,' 'taking stabs at Radiohead on some tracks,' and so forth, not only do I personally like it enough to not skip through any songs, but I find it encouraging and unsurprising that the group continues to explore new musical territory.

Okay - let's consider this. If The Strokes just did a 2011 redux of "Is This It?" there would be a lot of fans that would love it, but there would be a whole other segment of fans and critics decrying the group for 'playing it safe' and 'failing to mature musically and stylistically.' If you're one of the five band members, it's hard not to feel like "I Can't Win" (to borrow the name of the 3-minute catchy firestorm that closes the "Room on Fire" album).

Maybe I'm just drowning in the Strokes Kool-Aid, but I usually end up liking everything this band does. Sure, they could have trimmed away some of the fat on "First Impressions," but I'm probably one of the only people who actually still gets amped up at moments like when the little-known deep album cut "15 Minutes" transitions from its methodical, waltz-like first half into the uptempo, razor-sharp speed-rock riffing second half. And this is a song the band has probably only ever performed like three times live.

So anyway, the new album is too concise for me to nitpick or say that I'm bored by it. Sure, some tracks are stronger than others, like on any album. But none of the songs provoke an inner thought monologue along the lines of "Jeez, why did they put this song on the album. Next!"

And their live performances leading up to tomorrow's sold-out Madison Square Garden show have been typically enthralling. On the first Saturday in March, they bounced through "Under the Cover of Darkness" and then showed a more subdued but still musically inspiring side with "Life is Simple in the Moonlight" on Saturday Night Live. A couple weeks later on Letterman, they absolutely killed it with "Taken for a Fool," an absolutely infectious track that sounds amazing live. Finally, on Jimmy Fallon last night, they plowed through the unusual, post-modern sounding "You're So Right," a polarizing song choice in that it's basically either loved or hated. Me? Yeah, you guessed it. Loved it.



Any live Strokes show from 5 to 10 years ago consisted of these guys looking bored with life in general on stage, always a stark contrast to the high-energy, sonically pleasing brand of loud, memorable rock they pounded out flawlessly. Here in 2011, they are still doing that, but slowly incorporating new elements into their stage show. They're able to replicate sounds on stage that don't seem possible without some sort of sample machine or other weird instrumentation. Sometimes live, they actually sound better than they do on record, a total rarity but amazing nonetheless.

There are no limits for The Strokes when they're fully focused. The problem seems to be for them to find that focus with any sort of consistent regularity. They had it in the early part of the aughts decade, but the hiatus after the "Room on Fire" tour seemed to be the beginning of tougher times.

Word on the street is that Julian literally mailed in his vocal tracks for the recording process of "Angles" - as in sent audio files of his vocals over email - instead of jamming in the same recording studio as the rest of the band. According to interviews, this was by design. Casablancas felt he needed to remove himself from the rest of the group so that their own creative identity could fluorish. Sounds good in theory, but the end result didn't make the rest of the band happy. Guitarist Nick Valensi was quoted as saying that he "wouldn't do another album like this, without the singer there."

There's also the somewhat well-documented drug problems of guitarist Albert Hammond Jr., supposedly behind him now, and his subsequent recovery difficulties while trying to record the album.



Add on top of that the resentment that undoubtedly festered and lingered from the group being "Julian's band with the other 4 dudes riding shotgun and just slinging their instruments on stage," and add in a healthy dose of "We're supposed to be back together recording as a group for the first time in 5 years but our singer can't stand to be in the same room with us and one of our guitarists almost OD'd" - and it's a miracle they were even able to crap out an album that's anything beyond average.

Well the good news is that the limited number of performances the band delivered last year was met with fever-pitch intensity from the crowds, and by all accounts, the Strokes have never sounded better live. So there is that. There was also Valensi or bassist Nikolai Fraiture (can't remember which) recently indicating that the band was going to be hitting the studio again possibly as early as sometime in April to begin working on new material. They've got limited tour dates this year, so road-work shouldn't be too much of a hindrance in making more new music.

Hopefully they get it figured out and continue to save rock music. There are far too few bands like them these days.

A quick breadown of the tracks on Angles (overall, I give it about an 82 percent out of 100):

1) Machu Picchu - a mid-tempo, slinky number with gratifying chord changes and a classically catchy, guitar-driven, hum-along chorus. Solid opener.

2) Under the Cover of Darkness - As previously stated, the album's crown jewel. Catchy as all get-out, and a definitive modern indie-rock anthem. Strokes are at their best with songs like this.

3) Two Kinds of Happiness - Straight out of 1982 with the somewhat muted production, synth soundscapes, and Julian's best Ric Ocasek impression. But the chorus is a harrowing cacophony of sound with lightning-fast lead-guitar stabs (that's gotta be Albert, right?)

4) You're So Right - Talk about taking risks. This is not the sound you expect out of the Strokes. Some have called it the weakest song on the album. It strays into new territory for sure with its spare, uncompromising sound. Experimental, unique, but not radio-friendly or a perfect 'first introduction' to The Strokes.

5) Taken for a Fool - I love it more every time I hear it. A fast-moving gem that sticks in your head for days. Guitars are crisp and clear with descending chord changes, and a slamming rhythm track keeps it moving along. The chorus soars and sings, and its lyrics are priceless ("And I don't need anyone with me right now / Monday-Tuesday is my weekend").





6) Games - They went a little nuts with the synth on this one. I actually like the verse better than the chorus, with the spare-sounding bass and Julian's singing. One of the less-memorable tracks.

7) Call me Back - A tense yet soft ballad that turns optimistic and satisfying in the chorus. No percussion here, just clean-tone guitar and Julian's vocals, with a touch of keyboard effects to enhance certain moments. Really like this one.

8) Gratisfaction - Easily the most rollicking, jolly uptempo, sing-along banger on the album after "Under the Cover." This will be a crowd favorite at live shows without a doubt. If the whole album sounded like this song and "Under the Cover," everyone would right now be hailing The Strokes as rock's saviors of 2011.

9) Metabolism - Lumbering mid-tempo track, kind of depressing. Sounds like a leftover from the "First Impressions" recording sessions. Some nice chord/vocal dynamic changes in the middle section though.

10) Life is Simple in the Moonlight - I'm beginning to really appreciate the Strokes more when they do songs like this. Reflective, pensive, not a rocker but not quite a ballad either. Just a great song, and the chorus climaxes beautifully with "Don't Try to Stop us! Get out of our Way!"

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Never Fear, Green Beer is Here

Happy Drunken Irish Holiday, bitches.

Let the good times ROLL!

Whose idea was it that this holiday should turn the streets of midtown Manhattan into an idiot parade? So just to clarify, we have the REAL parade that happens on Fifth Avenue, with the bagpipes and people actually wanting to celebrate Irish heritage to a certain degree. Then we have said Idiot Parade, which basically occurs on the side streets and much of the rest of regional Manhattan, replete with unoriginal, moronic 18-to-23 year olds wearing every item of clothing in the ugliest shade of deep green ever created.

It's evident that 90 percent of these people don't live in the city, given their obvious cluelessness as it applies to actions in which New York residents simply do not engage - you know, such as wandering around aimlessly like idiots; asking if the grab-and-go deli/sandwich place has a restroom (because they've been drinking since 9 a.m. and need to relieve themselves); screaming in the middle of the street for no apparent reason, other than the fact that it happens to be the one calendar day each year when people can become fall-down drunk and get a free pass on it; Oh wait, did I mention wandering around aimlessly like idiots? Because there is a LOT of that.



Okay, sure, I know what I sound like. Mr. Grumpy Pants over here, shaking his cane at the young uns' because my lifestyle doesn't allow me to, on a Thursday afternoon no less, dress up like I was just vomited out of the Jolly Green Giant with an upturned 40 in my hand. But I'm pretty sure these people would annoy the crap out of me regardless of my age/employment status, and I consider that a good thing.

So as a general rule, unless you ARE one of these slobbering, loud, green idiots, do NOT come to New York City on St. Patrick's Day, because you will want to strangle anything in sight by the end of the day. Or well in advance of said time.

Now with that out of the way, randomness ensues. Enjoy!

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The 2010-11 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament has begun, and I can't remember a season when I've paid as little attention to college hoops as I have this year. I'm just way too into the NBA, which actually has a ton of talent right now, stars with staying power and legitimate identity, and a schedule that allows you to find a thoroughly entertaining game on TV almost any night of the week. The college game is still fun to watch on occasion, but there are very few 'names' this season (experts are predicting one of the weaker NBA draft classes we've seen in a while for June 2011). I didn't even fill out a bracket. It just gets more difficult every year, particularly in seasons like this one where it's wide open, due to lack of said star power.

Also, to turn into Mr. T momentarily (sans mohawk and ebony skin and gold chains and deep voice, of course) I pity the fool who had either Louisville, Penn State or Clemson advancing to the Sweet 16 or beyond in their bracket. This list will grow, of course, as the next two days unfold.



Oh did I mention how much more fun it is to watch the NCAA Tournament when you're not constantly rooting or bracket-checking and can just enjoy the games? Holy World of Difference, Batman.

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The NFL and the Players Union are now officially locked out, which is about what we all expected. Can't figure out how to divide up that annual $9 billion pie. Bit of a shame. So what's happened now? The Players Union has decertified and filed a federal lawsuit against the league alleging antitrust violations, among other allegations. And the players are urging a boycott of the NFL Draft in late April, meaning that teams would select fresh-out-of-college players who won't be there to come out on stage and shake the hands of the owners who just picked them. Oy. Awwwk-ward!

It's all ugly, and I'm sure we all hope it can get resolved sooner rather than later, but things don't generally move at lightning speed in U.S. Federal District Court. Matters will need to be hashed out there before the two sides can resume negotiations and work out the multitude of unresolved issues that still exist between the league and the players.

Get ready to be a college football fan if you aren't one, because I'll be highly surprised if the 2011 NFL Season kicks off when it's currently slated to do so.

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Okay, I know this is kind of old news, but Charlie Effing Sheen. My God. What a national treasure. A quote machine if there ever was one. Is this guy for real? Has anybody figured out yet whether it's a put-on? He's either a genius that hasn't received the proper amount of credit for duping everyone, or we're all just blessed by the gift of his unbridled insanity as it plays out on TV cameras and all over the Inter Webs.



Either way, at the end of the day he's quite goddamn brilliant, because people have never paid as much attention to him as they are now. If you're a celebrity, isn't that all you really want anyway? Who ISN'T going to be all over his next move? Nobody.

When you add in the fact that he's uber-rich and lives with a porn star and a 'dancer' - both of whom are clearly copasthetic with this arrangement - one can certainly make an argument that there are people out there who have it worse right now than Mr. Tiger's Blood.

I still think he's a lunatic, and I'd be surprised if he's totally clean (his last drug test was negative, but word on the street about cocaine is that it's out of your system in 2-3 days ... or, um, so I've heard). But we're all chomping at the bit to see what comes next out of this guy, right? Unless, you know, you're only primarily interested in stuff that's actually important.

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Speaking of unimportant - yet hilarious - stuff, please, and I implore you, track down a video clip of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino 'performing' at Comedy Central's Roast of Donald Trump, which aired this past Tuesday night. Wow, was he atrocious. Within hours of the broadcast, the internet was ablaze with disparaging reviews (rightfully so) and videographic proof of how unfunny is this greasy, tan knucklehead. To appropriately review the event, I figured I should roast The Situation myself. Here goes! (If you're easily offended, please skip!)



* Suicide bombers watched The Situation at the Trump Roast and said "Damn, I can never hope to be as successful as that guy!" Okay, alright, calm down.

* Hey, Situation, look at this guy. I would say he needs to get his dignity back after that performance, but you can't retrieve what was never there in the first place.

* Situation, is that you or did the Friar's Club invite a Jack-o'-Lantern to the Roast of Donald Trump? Goddamn, when you reach for the spray-tan bottle it screams "Enough guy! I'm not meant for this much use on one person! Take it easy!"

* Yo Situation, is it true that BP took the fall for what was really you doing a headstand in the Gulf of Mexico? Jesus Christ, look at that greasy mop! You could shine up an entire Brooks Brothers' footwear department with one-eighth of what's in your hair right now.

* Situation, I would call you dumb, but then the word 'dumb' would immediately file a slander/defamation lawsuit against me. And probably win.

Alright, I've got a ton of 'em, but you get the idea. Watch the vid clip. You will be cringing in both horror and delight, I promise.

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The original entertainment landscape on TV is a little thin right now, probably at least until Mad Men and Breaking Bad return later this summer, but there's still some decent stuff to check out.

Notably, The Office is about to finish its run with anchor character Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell. I just can't imagine the show without him, even though I want to back-hand him about 50 percent of the time because of the moronic things he says and does. Of course, that's a large part of the charm of his character. It's a great ensemble cast, certainly the show is no one-trick pony. But Carell is the glue that holds it all together. Who becomes the glue when he's gone? Jim? Nah, Jim doesn't feel like a 'glue' guy. A little too smarmy and you get the sense he puts himself above everyone else around him (most of whom are severely flawed in some way). Dwight? No, his character is far too unlikeable, and it wouldn't be believable to suddenly turn him into a bumbling fool with a heart of gold (see 'Carell').



So do they bring someone else in? I've heard all kinds of rumors. John Hodgman (the 'PC' commercial guy; also a Daily Show correspondent). Rhys Darby, a.k.a Murray on Flight of the Conchords. I love him to death, but I don't see him being the right fit. Danny McBride? That's it. Kenny Powers should run 'The Office' as the new Michael Scott. Yes, I know, that wouldn't work either, but Kenny Powers is probably my favorite TV personality right now, fictional or otherwise. Everything he says and does is pure gold.

In related news, Eastbound and Down Season 3 will air later this year on HBO, and it will be the show's final season. I really hope Powers makes it to the majors by the time the final credits roll.

Meanwhile, Parks & Recreation wins the award for 'most improved comedy' since last year at this time. Funny, original, great cast, wonderful chemistry, and it's shaken its reputation as an inferior 'Office' knock-off.

30 Rock is still solid, but it feels like something big needs to happen with the characters. It almost seems like it's just the same zany antics/similarly inane storylines being traded around with different members of the cast. Hoping they shake it up somehow to end this season in the next couple months.

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Finally, as a teaser for a subject of future discussion in this space, I've heard the new Strokes album, Angles, and it is indeed brilliant. New York's Finest is about to drop a triumphant return to form, and I can't wait to see them kick some ass and take some names yet again at Madison Square Garden on April 1st. No hooks, no gimmicks, just great music. Viva la Strokes! The album drops March 22nd for those interested.