Mixed Bag of Goodies

In the immortal words of Robert Plant, 'It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, uhhh-uh!'

So let's dump the foreplay this time and get right to the good stuff. There's all kinds of shit going on, so stay strapped in, and remove your valuables before boarding. I will not be held responsible for lost or stolen items. Or for how much money you piss away on that ridiculous Super Bowl XVLI prop bet.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BITCHES!

Okay, I'm a little late on this one. But whatever. Apparently, 2011 sucked for almost everyone I know. Is a better day on the horizon? We'll see.

I guess it all depends on job creation and the economy. And taxes. You know, the stuff that affects us everyday, trying-to-get by people.

I don't want to get too political here or anything - as an old friend once said to me, arguing religion or politics is like debating stuff on the Internet ... nobody really wins or loses, and in the end, everyone is still retarded. But I will say that I can't remember a time when I've been as fed up with the 'party system' as I am now. It's just a lot of division (and not the kind you learn about in grade school) and side-choosing, and less about working together to get shit done. Rich, poor, employed, jobless, whatever - we are all in this mess together. I don't give a damn about Democrat or Republican. I care about opportunities - and so should everyone else. The chance to get what you want through hard work. Wouldn't it be nice that it all should be that simple.

But as we know, not so.

However, if we should be lucky enough to see politicians stop tearing each other down and actually getting some good ideas pushed through the logjam, maybe we can at least enjoy some advantages of change that will bring about more lucrative financial times for everyone.

I will now step off this entirely too-high soapbox and stop wondering if I might see a one-legged flying unicorn anytime soon, because the odds of that are about the same as actually believing that any of the fantasy-land stuff I just typed above might happen.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

A couple months ago, I wrote about how I’m okay without a Division I college football playoff.

I don’t want to completely retract that statement, but the all-SEC party that shut the door on a more-than-deserving Oklahoma State team in the national championship game left a nasty taste on my buds. Is a plus-one a viable solution? In some years, that would do it. But not every year.

A playoff isn’t perfect either. Some of the regular-season matchups would become a bit watered-down, and there would still be teams crying foul about not getting in no matter how many you include (happens every year with the NCAA Basketball Tournament, and they let 65 teams in). The fact is, if you can’t totally appreciate the pure intensity of the regular-season games, you just don’t fully buy into what Division I-A college football is all about. And that’s okay – this isn’t meant as a criticism. It’s just unlike any other sport because of this. The uniqueness is part of what separates it so distinctly though.

The huge downside? Almost every year, we get an ‘Oklahoma State’ situation that makes us contemplate the fact that a team possibly strong enough to be a national champion is left on the other side of the partition. How do we reconcile this without a playoff? We don’t. The easy answer – and I know everyone hates it – is don’t lose in the regular season. And come from a major conference. And be a school of major consequence with a national fan base that’s always in the media spotlight.

I don’t love it any more than you do, but it’s part of the deal. Money talks, everything else takes a long-ass hike down the path of ‘who cares.’ It’s nobody’s fault that a championship game between TCU and Boise State just doesn’t generate as much buzz as a Michigan-Alabama title game would, but it’s the world we live in. For the on-the-fence guys that want to hang with the big dogs, do everything you can to get into a major conference and make people pay attention by beating said big dogs. It’s not necessarily easily accomplished, but that’s how to take down the 1 percent that is major college football institutions. Having said that, I would have rather seen Oklahoma State somehow get a chance without Alabama necessarily being shut out either. The current system doesn’t allow that though. Better luck next year for a more ideal outcome.

Another huge college football-related story has been the Jerry Sandusky child-abuse allegations story and the firing, and not long after, death of legendary Penn State head coach Joe Paterno.

I’ll try to be somewhat brief about this one, but we all have a natural tendency to glorify any well-known figure, be it celebrity, musician, athlete or otherwise, in the wake of their passing. I don’t completely love this, but I get why it happens.

Let’s just say, my main takeaway from the last months of Joe Paterno’s life and demise is simply that it’s the most powerful reminder imaginable that literally any person is capable of demonstrating contradictory sets of values.

It’s easy for us to think that almost anyone we meet or perceive in the public eye is either generally ‘good’ or generally ‘bad’ – when in reality, neither simple characterization is really even close to accurate (get to know Walter White from Breaking Bad and you’ll really understand this).

Paterno was a loyalist to the Penn State community who molded generations of college football players into fine young men, donated millions to the institution that employed him for decades, and was by all accounts a wonderful, salt-of-the-earth guy who lived in a modest home and didn’t hide from people by playing up his larger-than-life celebrity.

This is all true.

But it wouldn’t be right to ignore the fact that he was also a guy who took the minimum amount of action or responsibility for the investigation of some allegedly horrific actions that were being committed by another member of the Penn State community, and there are many who would suggest that he did this more out of concern for his own record-setting legacy and less because he was ‘confused’ or wasn’t sure ‘what to do.’ You don’t achieve the level of success that this man did without being savvy, and to not know that it would have been advantageous to report child abuse allegations to every local law enforcement agency, as well as to social services, instead of to just leave it in the hands of those who would be more likely to want to protect the name of the PSU Institution, is wholly unbelievable.

That’s like finding a piece of glass or plastic in your food in a restaurant and only telling the manager or owner of the place. He doesn’t want it to get out that his food isn’t completely safe or sanitary, right? What do you think he’s going to do? Schmooze you with a free meal or buy you a few drinks on the house, and hope you don’t tell anyone else. If you want something to get done about it, you go tell the Better Business Bureau of whatever local watchdog group is out there making sure that establishments serving food are up to snuff in the regulations department. You might prevent some other poor bastards from slicing up their gums while they’re just trying to enjoy a bowl of the French Onion soup.

Well for the purposes of this analogy, JoePa found a piece of glass in his food, told the manager and then left it alone. It just wasn’t worth the trouble to him. He had his eye on a bigger prize.

Does this outweigh all the good that he did? Of course not. But it will be difficult for me to think about his overall body of work and his life and career as a whole without recognizing that he was generally a good guy who was at one time guilty of making a few bad decisions that likely led to the continued pain and suffering of several others. By the way, he’s far from the only one who didn’t blow the whistle when it should have been, but he is the only one who’s the face of such a well-known institution. It comes with the territory, unfortunately.

THE SUPER BOWL

Nothing like putting in a prediction about an hour away from kickoff!

As an Eagles fan, I hate this matchup. The rich are getting richer no matter who wins. Both the New England Patriots and New York Giants are going for championship No. 4. Tom Brady and Eli Manning have both pretty much cemented their legend status (or in EM’s case, NEAR-legend status) for their respective organizations.

And this game is being played in the House that Peyton Built, which just creates for umpteen more storylines than we already have after the upset of all upsets that we saw in Super Bowl XLII four years ago, when the Giants’ ‘Helmet Catch’ ruined New England’s chance at a perfect season.

It seems like this was somewhat predetermined, right? Both conference championship games had one referee call that would have favored San Francisco and Baltimore in terms of a different outcome, but the calls went the way of New England and New York.

Lee Evans? That shit was a catch. The ball hit him in the numbers and it was well within his grasp. Whether that happens for two milliseconds or two full seconds, that’s a touchdown. But Sterling Moore reaches in there and knocks it out, and miraculously, the whistle hasn’t blown (where’s the goddamn whistle??) – and wow, look at that, it’s a strip. What??? In what universe is this acceptable? The Ravens just rolled over and took it up the poop chute on that one, too. Absolutely awful. But hey, Giants-Pats is much sexier than Giants-Ravens, or God forbid, 49ers-Ravens. I’m not saying the fix is in, but who didn’t want this rematch? You tell me.

In case you were wondering, the questionable call in the NFC Championship game was when Ahmad Bradshaw fumbled in the fourth quarter, but didn’t really fumble, because his forward progress was stopped so the play was whistled dead. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen that exact same play in a regular-season game and it’s ruled a fumble because the freaking player IS STILL UPRIGHT! The only time I see that b.s. ‘forward progress’ thing is when 6 guys are standing up a ball carrier and he’s clearly not getting out of the pile to break away for a huge gain. Not when a running back is trying to plow upfield, runs into a couple defenders and loses the ball and/or has the ball punched out. Unconscionably bad call.

We all wanted this matchup, I get it. No worries. But let’s not be afraid to call it like it is.

Now – as for SB XLVI? The Giants had a harder road here and have played better. They’re the favorite who’s not the favorite, because New England is a 3.5-point favorite as far as Vegas is concerned. But I can’t shake this feeling that the Pats are going to get their revenge, despite the fact that they are probably the inferior team. Who knows – they feel it’s their destiny, Belichick/Brady won’t be denied again, they’re doing this for the memory of Myra Kraft and there are more mysterious forces at work. The Giants’ blatant overconfidence can’t be good for the wheel of karma, either. Around these parts, people are talking like a Giants win has already happened.

But who knows. If N.Y.’s ferocious front four does its thing and Eli uncorks the passing game with Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks and Mario Manningham, anything can happen. I just don’t know if Tom Brady is going to be punked on a big stage like that again.

The only reason I’ll pull for the Giants is because of fullback Henry Hynoski, a fellow graduate of my alma mater, Southern Columbia Area High School in Catawissa, Pa. This kid was an undrafted free agent who has been a major part of the offense this year, and is playing in the Super Bowl as a ROOKIE.

He came from a high school that graduates no more than 200 kids each year and is literally surrounded by cornfields. Football means everything where I’m from, but we rarely see players that have what it takes to make it on an NFL roster.

So to watch the story of Henry Hynoski unfold and to believe that you can’t get where you want to be in life is just silly. But as anyone would tell you, it won’t happen without some good old-fashioned ass-busting hard work. Here’s hoping the Hynocerous gets to call himself a Super Bowl champion. Besides, seeing a dejected Brady and Belichick lose another Super Bowl would just be too much fun.

Ultimately, it may all hinge on Rob Gronkowski’s ankle. If the big dude can play through the pain and get shit done, the Pats are going to be much tougher to stop. I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those ‘whoever has the ball last has the best chance to win’ type of deals. I really can’t imagine a blowout. Going to be a great one.

The head says New England, but the heart says Giants (simply because of Hynoski fellow Eagles fans, take it down a notch!).

I’m getting into the NBA next time, kids. The Sixers are one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference. I’m not making it up! Look at the standings!