Who's Bringing Home the Little Statues?

The twenty-OH 10 started off kind of weak for movie-films. Things dramatically improved from around April/May onward. Random thoughts, a.k.a. The "Joey T.'s", are below, followed by my impressions of what may transpire at the broadcast of the 83rd Academy Awards.

Also, even though it wasn't necessarily planned this way, I actually ended up having seen all 10 Best Picture nominees. And I can honestly say I've never been more confused about selecting a favorite. That's why they play the game! To use a sports analogy (come on, I'm incapable of not doing so) - will it be "Rock-Chalk-Jayhawk!" or will Butler make it to the NCAA Finals this time? Grab some popcorn (not the kind with the fake-ass liquid butter), sit back and enjoy.

RANDOM ENTERTAINMENT RELATED THOUGHT: The Kardashian family earned $65 million in 2009. I will now engage in vomit-prevention tactics.

BIGGEST SCREW JOB OF THE 83RD ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: Christopher Nolan, who directed Inception, was not nominated for Best Director. Either he did something to piss off a whole lot of academy voters, or he did something to piss off a whole lot of academy voters. I cannot fathom any other explanation.

MOST UPLIFTING MOVIE OF 2010: Black Swan! Just kidding, of course. It was Winter's Bone.

BEST BIG SCREEN D-BAG: Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine. Later in their relationship, not early on. Showing up at Michelle Williams' job drunk with his cheap sunglasses and scary animal sweatshirt really took the cake.

MOVIE THAT MOST EFFECTIVELY REINFORCES NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT WOMEN BEING CRAZY AND CATTY: Why none other than Black Swan, of course!

SECOND BIGGEST SCREW JOB OF THE 83RD ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS: The fact that the documentary "Waiting for Superman" didn't get nominated for Best Documentary. It's an informative yet emotional look at what's wrong with the primary and secondary school systems in our country. You might be a little depressed after watching it, but you certainly won't be left wondering why the U.S. has fallen behind so many other developed nations in the world when it comes to educating our children.

FOREIGN FILM THAT MOST UNDESERVEDLY RECEIVED TONS OF CRITICAL ACCLAIM: Animal Kingdom, from Australia. This movie is just straight up frustrating. It's simply got to own the record for movie with the most staggeringly high number of unlikeable, stupid characters.

HOLLYWOOD'S BIGGEST NUT-JOB: I mean, right now it's got to be a toss-up between Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. Gibson has the anti-semitism and spousal abuse down pat, but Sheen is like the Nikki Sixx or Ozzy Osbourne of network television. No matter how many hookers, alcohol and blow you put in the room with him, he's always going to come out of it alive.

TEEN CELEBRITY I'M MOST SICK OF HEARING ABOUT: Justin. Effing. Bieber. Can someone PLEASE make this kid go away? I'll donate a freaking vital organ, I promise.

SONG I'M MOST ASHAMED TO ADMIT I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD: That Miley Cyrus song about "Partying in the U.S.A." I mean, I'm not going to buy it on i-tunes or anything, but if I hear it on the radio or on TV, and I don't have a "chaser" song to instantly get it out of my head, it's stuck in there like month-old gum on the bottom of your desk in 10th Grade Spanish class. I mean, she shouts out Jay-Z in the song at least. Bieber would never do that!

NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE HYPE AWARD: The TV show Friday Night Lights. Granted, I only saw a few episodes in the first season and then dropped it like a hot potato. And believe me, if there's a target audience for anything high school football-related, it's me (ask just about anyone who knows me). But I could never get past the sort of '90210' side of the show, the silly teen dramatics. If you gave me more football and less of that, or at least didn't bathe said dramatics with a nice, glossy sheen, then I may have been a huge fan.

Alright, now on to the show. I'm going to start with a quick blurb about each of the best pic nominees and wrap it all up with brief thoughts on the other major awards. Remember, just because I got it right doesn't mean the Academy will. This right here is the real shizz, bro.

BEST PIC NOMINEES

Black Swan: About as heavy-handed and frightening as a 220-pound, ruler-wielding nun is to a nervous 3rd grader in Catholic School. Director Darren Aronofsky certainly has a style that is all its own, and he does a magnificent job of capturing tension and mood in his films. He's showing us the world through the paranoid, always-spinning mind of the protagonist, a perfectionist ballet dancer (Natalie Portman) who has beaten out several worthy candidates to win the role of the Swan Queen in a re-working of the Tchaikovsky classic "Swan Lake." It's an intriguing character study, and an exercise in separating fantasy from reality. It's also rife with symbolism, yet open to interpretation. It's artful and intense, which you get a feeling Academy voters can appreciate. But it's also somewhat empty, leaving you to wonder what it all meant by the time the end credits are rolling. Fascinating story, but it doesn't feel like a Best Picture winner.

The Fighter: A pulls-no-punches (get it?!) re-telling of the tale of American boxer Mickey Ward, a blue collar fellow from Lowell, Massachusetts, who rose to unlikely prominence in the mid-to-late 1990s through a lot of training, hard work and family drama. As sports flicks go, this is one of the best that's been made in a long time. Christian Bale was unbelievable as the brother of Ward, played by Mark Wahlberg, and Melissa Leo was fantastic as the tough-love matriarch of the family. It's well-acted and entertaining, but plays out a bit more like an independent film (not that there's anything wrong with that). The drawback though is the fact that it didn't resonate as powerfully in the mainstream as many of the other best pic candidates. It's an underdog to win - much like Ward often was as a boxer in real life - but it's not an impossibility.

Inception: This has to be one of the most original, innovative and well-executed suspense/action thrillers to come along in quite some time. Director Christopher Nolan's tour de force about dream control and its impact on reality was a juggernaut during last summer's motion picture season, but it seems to have lost momentum in recent months now that pictures like "True Grit," "The King's Speech" and "The Social Network" are getting the most lip service. It's a shame, because I feel like this movie should be on that "Short List of 2 or 3 most likely to win," but by most accounts, it simply isn't. Hollywood is so much about crappy sequels, remakes and predictable action thrillers these days that you would think a movie like "Inception" would be received as a breath of fresh air that's hard to snuff out. Unfortunately, it seems like most of us have forgotten about it already just because of its premature timing.

The Kids Are All Right: This was a very progressive, seemingly realistic portrayal of a true "modern family." Annette Bening and Julianne Moore play lesbian mothers raising two teenagers (the daughter is soon off for college) in upper-middle class California, and the kids decide to look up their biological father to satisfy their long-held curiosity. What transpires feels very authentic given the circumstances and issues of the characters involved. And we know that the Academy has shown love to films prominently featuring characters with alternative sexual preferences in the past (Sean Penn won Best Actor for his portrayal of gay rights activist Harvey Milk two years ago). But it seems like this movie has three primary elements working against it: 1) The timeliness factor (see "Inception" above); 2) Not enough eyeballs on it, didn't get into enough theaters; 3) It lacks that extra 'bite' or 'punch' to push it past some of the more, um, forceful best pic nominees. Sometimes it's not enough to have a unique story, strong acting and a ton of realism.

The King's Speech: And here we are, folks. We've arrived at the Prohibitive Favorite to win best picture. A classic Oscar-bait film in every sense of the term. It's a period piece, it's got distinguished British actors (Geoffrey Rush, Colin Firth), and best of all, it's based on the true story of King George VI, a leader who struggled to overcome a vicious stammering problem as King of the United Kingdom from 1936 until his death. Firth is fabulous, and Rush is equally convincing as his speech coach, but then we expect nothing less from these two masters at their craft. I can't honestly say I was riveted from beginning to end, but it was a fine film, and many others cut from the same mold have cleaned up at the Academy Awards in years past. But who knows? There are many worthy candidates this year, and quite frankly, this movie winning the big prize is about as predictable as road-side bombs in the Middle East, or sunshine in Southern California. Sometimes voters are discouraged from picking the "easy" or "safe" choice simply to go against the grain. But it's true that this movie fits the classic "best picture" prototype, so don't be amazed if it wins.

127 Hours: This flick is not for the faint of heart. There's a chance that you already know that it's based on the true story of a guy named Aron Ralston, a thrill-seeker who in April of 2003 went alone on a rock climbing/diving excursion in Utah, without telling anyone of his plans, before becoming trapped against a wall when an enormous boulder pins his right arm to the earth. James Franco rocks this role, and makes you forget how difficult it must be to keep the audience engaged when most of the movie is just him and the camera. Director Danny Boyle ("Trainspotting," "Slumdog Millionaire") does a great job here, building the tension wonderfully but never losing the viewer's interest. Again, this film didn't quite get enough attention, and it's a bit too uncompromising and one-dimensional to imagine it taking home the big prize. But it's also fascinating viewing.

The Social Network: And here we have the Facebook Movie. Conventional wisdom says that if anything is going to dethrone "The King's Speech" for Best Pic, it's this. Despite its two-plus hours of running time, it flies by and keeps you engaged from start to finish. Aaron Sorkin compiled an amazing screenplay, and David Fincher is solid, as usual, in a directorial capacity. Jesse Eisenberg is cold, clinical and downright convincing in his portrayal of Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, and never has a movie or TV show (or anything else for that matter) come along yet that so powerfully captures the influence that social media has had on all of our lives. The film tells us all sides of the 'lawsuit' story that unfolded after Facebook blew up the world (Zuckerberg was embroiled in two separate civil litigations when he was sued by business partners and/or colleagues who claim to have been cheated out of profits or creator credits as it applies to the empire that is Facebook.com). Simply put, this is a uniquely told, powerful account of an electronic communication tool that epitomizes modern-day interactions for people of all socio-economic classes in every nook and cranny of our country (and other countries), and the man (men?) behind it all. It's hard to imagine why it shouldn't win, dammit, or be on that short-list of prohibitive favorites.

Toy Story 3: If you were to ask my wife, this should win Best Pic. Okay, maybe not, but it was her favorite of the nominees. Actually, I have to admit I hadn't seen either of the first two "Toy Story" pics, but I thoroughly enjoyed this. Beautifully animated and voiced, heart-warming, made for kids, but entertaining for adults as well. What else can you ask for? Don't expect it to beat out all of these other sophisticated, layered, made-for-adults efforts for the Best Pic prize, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it win Best Animated Feature Film. I mean, "How to Train Your Dragon" was also decent, but "Toy Story 3" is better.

True Grit: Joel and Ethan Coen have struck again. The directing brothers have made this novel pop to life a second time, 41 years after the original big-screen adaptation featuring John Wayne in the role of rebel law-man Rooster Cogburn. The Coens have really nailed it this time. A classic hallmark of many Coen movies is an off-kilter quirkiness that strays just a bit too left-of-center to truly exhibit mainstream appeal (I personally love their style). However, there's no such odd leanings in this effort. The old-timey language, period appropriate atmospherics and snappy dialogue move the action along beautifully and make it feel like an instant-classic Western pic. Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon carry the film with veteran performances, but the real talk of the town is the gem of a major acting debut by 14-year-old Hailee Steinfeld, who I would love to see win Best Supporting Actress. This movie, along with "The Social Network," are the most likely challengers to "The King's Speech" likely claim to the Best Picture trophy. It had the momentum of a Christmas Day release and a lot of buzzworthy praise (Coen Brothers and Bridges at the top of their game, and a breath-of-fresh-air job by a young, rising star). Can't wait to see what rewards this film takes.

Winter's Bone: If you ask me, this was the Best Picture of 2010. But I'm smart enough to know it doesn't stand a Meth-head's chance in a detox facility at winning Best Picture. The subject matter is way too grim, and it probably played on about 7 and-a-half screens total throughout the country. I understand all that, and it makes perfect sense why it won't walk off with the biggest piece of hardware. But just the fact that it's nominated means that the right people are paying attention to the right works of art, at least on occasion. And even though this movie doesn't stand much of a chance at winning the ultimate prize, Jennifer Lawrence does stand a chance of winning Best Actress. This girl was phenomenal, and she's only a few years older than Steinfeld. She delivers a powerful, gut-wrenching performance as a 17-year-old member of a poverty-ridden family (mom is in a constantly catatonic state, dad cooks/sells meth, is on the lam from the law and has put up the family's raggedy house as bond collateral) set against the depressing backdrop of wintertime in the Ozark Mountains of southern Missouri. Lawrence's character, Ree Dolly, has to look after her younger brother and sister while also trying to hunt down her father before either the cops or his enemies do in order to try to save what little she and her family have left (including the roof over their head). It's powerful, affecting material, but many of us would rather not focus on the fact that stories like this are all too real. This movie and "True Grit" are tied for my personal Best Pic of 2010, with "The Social Network" clocking in at a close second.

Best Director is probably a three-way race between Tom Hooper (King's Speech), David Fincher (Social Network) and Joel & Ethan Coen (True Grit). The mechanics involved with a film like True Grit seem like it should give the Coens the edge here, but sometimes it's the subtleties involved with directing seemingly simpler fare such as the other two pics that is more difficult to pull off. If True Grit wins best pic, I'm thinking the Coens get best director, and same goes for a Hooper-King's Speech sweep.

Best Actor, the three way race is essentially Eisenberg (Social Network), Firth (King's Speech) and Franco (127 Hours). Franco was magnetic given the spare elements he had to work with, but Firth and Eisenberg were more transformative with their characters. I think Eisenberg's role was a bit more of a stretch, and he had to create more of an alternate persona than Firth. Although, Firth made the stutter look downright natural, and that can NOT have been easy. Tough call there.

Best Supporting Actor also had three highly worthy candidates - Geoffrey Rush (King's Speech), Christian Bale (The Fighter) and Jeremy Renner (The Town). Rush was typically brilliant, but he just acted like Geoffrey Rush for a couple hours. He didn't push above and beyond any unimaginable limitations. Renner was obscenely good as the short-fused, blue collar Southy criminal in the Charlestown bank robber flick "The Town," but Bale literally kind of became Dicky Eklund (Mickey Ward's older brother). So much so, in fact, that locals in Lowell, Mass., mistook Bale for the REAL Dicky Eklund. Now that's a goddamn good performance. I think you've got to give it to Bale here.

Best Actress is a real close race this year. Michelle Williams may have actually had the most all-around multi-dimensional, emotionally exhausting performance of the five nominees, but unfortunately, her role didn't seem to garner enough attention. The late release date (just weeks before the Academy Awards) didn't help either. It feels like a 3-way race between Annette Bening, Natalie Portman and Jennifer Lawrence. Again, Lawrence's lack of reconigition is going to hurt her. Portman appears to be the favorite, but Bening had more depth. Portman was great at being manic and grating, but Bening displayed just about every emotion imaginable in her role, and did them all exceedingly well. I actually hope she wins if we're talking about it coming down to her vs. Portman.

Best Supporting Actress has to be either Steinfeld (True Grit) or Melissa Leo (The Fighter). Both were phenomenal. To pick who was better is like splitting hairs. You can't do it. So for me, it's got to come down to something else. What's the next best criteria since you could spend all day lobbying effectively for either candidate in the "Better Performance" department? How about degree of difficulty? Steinfeld isn't even old enough to have a learner's permit for driving a car, and she flat out killed it as Maddie Ross. It feels difficult to take it away from Leo just because we happened to have a 14-year-old who was magnificent this year, but that's what feels like the right thing to do. Of course, I wouldn't put it past academy voters to pick Leo and rationalize it by saying "Steinfeld is young and brilliant, she'll have plenty of time to win a major award." But that would be a mistake, because it would be cheating her out of a performance that couldn't have possibly been any better coming from a 14-year-old. Here's hoping that Steinfeld wins.