Unfortunately, I've neglected to drop some word nuggets over the past week, and oh so many notable events (mainly of the sports variety) have taken place. Frankly, I blame that wretched aspect of everyday life that we all like to call a 'job.' Or is it pronounced 'yob' - as if the 'J' were silent? I'm not sure. But ... yes folks, work has been treating me as though it is Pedro Martinez circa 2003 and I am a hard-charging Don Zimmer during that infamous Yankees-Sox basebrawl. In other words, I was plowed into the ground.
Speaking of which, does the decrease in steroid use amongst baseball players create for fewer bench-clearing brouhahas? I feel like it does. Artificial testosterone can only lead to more confrontations, right? Of course, we all know baseball players are completely clean now, no questions asked. Yeah, sure. That, and, I had no doubts the Phillies would make it back to the World Series this year.
Actually, let's start with that. I've previously written in this space that the lovable Fightin' Phils' ineptitude would only eventually result in them frustrating their fans yet again and failing to live up to expectations. But when guys like Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth talk about how the organization, fans and even the city of Philadelphia has literally transformed into a whole new way of thinking, it's hard to argue with that. Ask Boston fans. They can tell you some things about the past five-plus years. On the other side of that coin, ask Yankee fans. They can tell you some things about the past nine years.
Winning and optimism can apparently be infectious, and at least the Phillies' success helps take some pressure off of the usually downtrodden, angry Philadelphia sports fan base. Hell, the Eagles maniacs even seem to mind a little bit less about having the same McNabb-Andy Reid complaints, having Michael 'Ronnie Mexico' Vick on their team (he hasn't done jack this season, by the way), and the fact that this team is probably, quite frankly, overrated. That Oakland loss was absolutely gut-punch level bad.
But the Phillies ... ever since the beginning of the 2008 postseason, it's like they've bottled some magic formula. They can do little wrong. Timely hits, steely-nerve pitching, the ability to get out of jams and successfully complete rallies and comebacks. These are not the Phillies I've known and shaken my head at for the better part of the last 20-plus years.
And now, the Phillies will no doubt face their biggest postseason challenge to date. NY Yankees-Phillies will be a fun series - the losingest franchise vs. the winningest franchise. Two northeast signature baseball clubs within a two-and-a-half-hour jaunt up and down I-95. Dedicated, rabid fan bases. One that will impress you with their knowledge, love and respect for their team and the game, and another that will show you about 20 different ways to maim another human being with your fists alone and nothing else.
It's tempting to think the Yankees can't be stopped, especially the 2009 edition, but don't try to apply logic to anything involving the current Philadelphia Phillies. They'll probably continue to do things they shouldn't, realistically, and yet it's difficult to say what that means exactly, even now that we've seen them efficiently take out the Colorado Rockies and L.A. Dodgers to become the first NL team to reach the World Series two years in a row since Atlanta in 1991-92.
Carlos Ruiz will continue to gun down base stealers. Jayson Werth will continue to hit clutch home runs. Brad Lidge will continue to thrive under pressure in the postseason after having a 2009 regular season that was vastly inferior to his 2008 performance (to say the least). Shane Victorino will continue to get on base however he damn well can and fly around the chalk like a frigging mad man. And Charlie Manuel will probably continue to look like he barely knows what's happening. But don't let that fool you.
All this may or may not continue to happen. And the Yankees may or may not wipe them off the baseball map in the blink of an eye.
That's why we watch.
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So there's a lot of stuff I'm thinking about. In order to avoid a Dickensian-length entry (aw hell, that'll never happen), I'm just going to lay it all out there bullet-point style. Try to stay with me. If there's some sort of anti-Ambien drug within reach, or if you have any of that 5-hour energy stuff laying around, I'd suggest you go for it.
* Entertainment - I'll try to be quick about this. Curb Your Enthusiasm has been hit-or-miss for me this season, but unfortunately, mostly miss. Anything involving the Seinfeld cast mates has been 'gold, Jerry!' (as Banya would say), and same goes for Leon and Jeff/Susie. But almost everything else has been hard to watch, and largely unfunny. There are only so many different ways Larry David can come up with to be a complete asshole to everyone around him before it starts to feel contrived and seem as though it's a matter of feeding the machine and putting product out. Hopefully the final 4 episodes go out with more of a bang than a fizzle, but I won't be distraught if the show doesn't return after this season.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was classic this past Thursday, and ties in nicely with the whole current 'Phillies Make the World Series' dynamic. Even if they hadn't made it this year though, the episode works because they found a way to make the 2008 WS appearance tie into a current episode. The best aspects of it was the mockery of Philly's rough-and-tumble fan base, and perhaps funniest of all, Charlie Kelly's Green man vibing with (and eventually fighting with) the Philly Fanatic. Consistently great show.
Everything else I watch routinely (South Park, The Office, 30 Rock, Mad Men) was decent, pretty much what you'd expect, but nothing so noteworthy that it's sticking in my brain at the moment.
Best of all was the movie 'Black Dynamite', which is undoubtedly worth seeing even if you'll have a tough time finding a theater near you that's currently showing it (and you probably will). It's a riotous send-up of 1970s blaxploitation genre films, and it's so jokey that you barely have time to laugh at everything. And at 90 minutes, it doesn't really reach the point where it's just dragging on (unless you're just not into the subject matter at all). If you can appreciate the ridiculous stereotypes of movies from that genre though (big hair, seemingly intentional bad acting, ridiculous clothing and a healthy disco/porno score), then you will appreciate this flick.
* In the world of Division-I college football, we don't have anything that earth-shatteringly different than what was happening last week at this time. Florida, Alabama and Texas are still Nos. 1-3, respectively, in the BCS Standings. Positions 4-8 are rounded out by Iowa, USC, TCU, Boise State and Cincinnati. If we had an 8-team playoff beginning right now, we'd see a first round of games that looks like this: Florida/Cincy, 'Bama/Boise St., Texas/TCU, Iowa/USC (the last of which would be a classic Rose Bowl type matchup). Keep dreaming though. Only polls and a bunch of dudes in suits will decide who is to play for a championship. Let's hope it works out in such a way that we don't have Skip Bayless shouting so loud that his forehead vein looks as though it's about to implode through your HD screen. Can we just get a playoff system that still makes an assload of money but also allows us to retain the current bowl system structure to at least some degree? Is this really that impossible? Do you mean to tell me that it's 2009, and that we have things like 24-hour fast food, Netflix, Hulu, instant coffee and a variety of other such wonders of life, but we still lack the ability to determine a Division-I college football champion each year in a completely controversy-free fashion? Here's a clue - the SEC and the Big 12 are the best conferences, so weigh their games slightly more heavily than conferences like the Big East and the WAC. Use common sense (strength of opponents, number of losses, who they've come against, when did the losses occur) and pick the 6 or 8 teams that make the most sense (doing first-round byes for the 1 and 2 seeds if you go with 6). Please, get this done. There are enough problems in the world for us to continue pretending that we can't figure out an efficient way to do this.
* Best TV crime drama of the almost-over decade? This has been an ongoing debate for some time now, and it's hard to cover this in just a few sentences - but here's a try. The Wire vs. Sopranos - for my money, it's The Wire every time. Yes, I'm more personally interested in the subject matter of The Wire (inner city poverty, urban decay, how politics and education are impacted by such harsh realities, etc.), but there seems to be a more broad world that's being explored in The Wire. We've always been obsessed with the mafia in our society, and the idea that family bonds, especially within the context of a real crime family, are fascinating in and of themselves. This is not without merit. But there's something so all-encompassing about how The Wire is constructed that it's difficult to imagine any work of art that takes into account a larger variety of walks of life. Whether you're a degenerate, a law enforcer of some kind, a teacher, a corporate drone, or a regular working person balancing work and family, The Wire probably has something in which you can invest emotionally. What's hard for me to get past with the Sopranos is the fact that I'm too detached from that world to know how true it rings. But all I have to do is watch a newscast to know that The Wire brings the truth. If you haven't, just do so. Trust me. The Sopranos is like the prom queen that's a hit in school but doesn't quite know what to do when she gets out and doesn't have a plan (the 'fade-to-black' ending). The Wire is like the cute, smart chick with glasses that has a ton of substance but doesn't have 20 guys asking her out every week (The Wire's low ratings but critical acclaim). You know damn well that 10 times out of 10, the latter leaves a more powerful, lasting impression with people than the former, despite what things seem like at the start.
* NBA regular season is about to start. Hang onto your hats. A lot of offseason activity, but don't expect that the top of the league will look much different than last year (i.e. Lakers, Cavs, Magic, Spurs and Celtics will pretty much be on top). Shaq may be a Cavalier, but I still don't see Cleveland being the best title contender. His best years are clearly behind him, and LeBron is still surrounded by a lot of players that have that glossy sheen and a lot of ability, but still don't feel like a championship team. When your starting center moves like a walking tree and one of your most visible non-LeBron players gets pulled over on his motorcycle with a cache of guns in his guitar case, you might have some problems with the coming season. Oh and Lakers fans who think your 2009-10 title run is in the bag because you traded Trevor Ariza for Ron Artest, let's talk again in about 7-8 months. This will not go down well for the Lakers. Lots of mileage on Kobe, and plus he finally got the 'can't-win-a-title-without-a-Shaq-Number-two' monkey off his back. If his intensity drops even 5-7 percent, that's a significant blow to L.A.'s title chances. It's way too early to call this, but I wouldn't be shocked to see Spurs-Celtics in the finals. How did the Celtics get any worse? They didn't. If they stay healthy, and if offseason addition Rasheed Wallace brings only the best aspects of Rasheed to the table, then the sky is the limit.
Yankees-Phillies Game One is Wednesday. This series frightens the hell out of me. I don't know what to expect. It could go 7 games or be a sweep in either direction. I literally have no expectations. I'm just going to try to enjoy the ride. And by enjoy, I mean doing almost everything humanly possible to distract myself while these games are on. Until then, keep rocking some 'Salt-n-Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine,' with the 'red-and-black lumberjack, and the hat to match.'
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