NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!!!

Nothing like getting right to the point, agreed?

No need to get fancy, you know the drill by now. Drink it in, rich and compelling, like Ron Burgundy on a fine summer's day in Saint Diago, the finest city in the world.

Cleveland 6, Buffalo 3

So the Browns toss Braylon Edwards out of the mix and then win a game? What about T.O. and Lee Evans? Two of the more prolific receivers of this era can't get open against the Browns' defense? Is Buffalo really this bad? I just don't understand what happened here. I'd try harder to figure it out, but something tells me it just won't matter.

Dallas 26, Kansas City 20 (OT)

Dallas on the road, without two of its top offensive weapons (Roy Williams and Felix Jones) plus an unpredictable Chiefs team equals one crazy afternoon. Reserve Cowboys receiver Miles Austin went off on that KC defense, snagging 2 TD passes and finishing with 250 yards. Good thing I picked him up off the waiver wire last weekend on my fantasy team! I'd say Dallas has a lot of work to do, considering they only won this game by 6 and in overtime. But it was on the road, KC was (still is) winless and starving for a W, and two big offensive guns for the Cowboys were out of commission. I'd still not list them amongst the top 5 NFC teams right now though (Giants, Saints, Vikings, 49ers, Eagles, for the record).

Minnesota 38, St. Louis 10

(Laughing). Is there anything about this score that even needs to be said? One of the best teams in the NFC beats one of the worst teams in the NFC by 28 points. Try to take this all in, if you can. The only question about the NFC North is exactly how many more weeks will it take for the Vikes to clinch it. Wait, what's that sound? Do I hear some contentious Chicago Bears fans? Maybe I do!

NY Giants 44, Oakland 7

Hey, at least Oakland got on the scoreboard. And at least we know the Giants weren't looking ahead to this Sunday's battle-of-unbeatens showdown at the Super Dome against New Orleans. By the way, can we arrange a 4-way competition between the Raiders, Chiefs, Rams and Tampa Bay for worst team of the 2009 season? This could be a thrilling race.

Philadelphia 33, Tampa Bay 14

I had my doubts about the Eagles over the first couple of weeks. You know, overinflated expectations, the Vick distractions, no more Jim Johnson, McNabb getting older, etc. But they seem to be clicking at this point. Tampa Bay, however, is the opposite of 'clicking.' If clicking is good, the Bucs aren't making a sound. Meanwhile, I'm thinking it will be the Eagles, and not the Cowboys, that pushes the Giants in the race for the NFC East crown.

Pittsburgh 28, Detroit 20

The Steelers almost threw this one away, clinging onto that slim eight-point lead through the last several minutes of the game. Conversely, the Lions can take comfort in knowing that they are far from the worst team in the league this year, as they were in '08. Speaking of which, the AFC North is suddenly more interesting. Laugh if you want to, but the Bengals might be the best team in the division right now.

Cincinnati 17, Baltimore 14

As mentioned, don't plan on handing this division to anybody just yet, but Cincinnati (4-1) is making a strong case for sleeper surprise of the '09 season. From top to bottom, the AFC North might be one of the toughest divisions in the league, even considering how bad the Browns are. Also, don't think that the Ravens won't come out ready to kill next weekend. But it doesn't get any easier for them either, as they hit the road to play the Vikings in Minnesota.

Carolina 20, Washington 17

If you're a fan of the Redskins, it's probably a little difficult not to feel like you're an at-wits-end parent and they're the kid that keeps letting you down and spending all your money despite promises to improve, drum up some ambition, get out of the house and get their act together. The 'Skins lost to Detroit two weeks ago, just barely beat Tampa Bay last weekend and lost by a field goal to a down-on-their-luck Carolina team Sunday. And this is all before they hit the rough NFC East part of their schedule. Yikes. Gonna be a long 2009 season for Washington. By the way, is there a worse overall sports city than D.C. right now? The only playoff team in the nation's capital is the NHL's Senators. Yeah, that's right, there's a professional hockey team in Washington D.C. I was surprised too!

Atlanta 45, San Francisco 10

It was between this game and the Cleveland-Buffalo game as to 'most surprising result of the weekend' for me. I'm still sold on the Niners, but for them to lose, at home no less, and by this much, is a bit of a head scratcher. Atlanta is quietly capable, but the NFC South is the Saints' to lose, and there are too many superior teams in the other divisions to consider the Falcons a playoff threat (at least right now).

Seattle 41, Jacksonville 0

Okay, I was wrong. This makes the least sense of all the games from this past weekend. Whatever. Neither of these teams is going anywhere anyway. Maybe the return of Hasselbeck was just the shot in the arm the Seahawks needed. And if I had a nickel for every time I've ever typed that sentence, I'd have exactly 5-10 cents.

Arizona 28, Houston 21

I really kind of just pity Houston at this point. Sure, the Texans are feisty, but they just can't seem to win these kinds of games. Arizona (2-2) wants to prove that last year's Super Bowl appearance wasn't a fluke, but there's a lot of work to do in this year's loaded NFC field. As long as Kurt Warner keeps drinking his prune juice and doesn't misplace his bifocals, it should be just fine for the Cards.

Denver 20, New England 17 (OT)

These Broncos are officially a football team. Denver and Cincinnati looking like two of the best AFC Teams right now. It's like 1989 all over again! Can we get an Ickey Shuffle please? But seriously, Josh McDaniels has these guys playing some damn good football. The Pats are never going to be easy to beat, but it's always fun to watch them lose for some reason.

Indianapolis 31, Tennessee 9

Don't know what happened to the Titans between last year and this one, but that is NOT the same team. Indy, however, continues to do what it always does. As I've said before, they're on cruise control at this point. Colts have a bye week coming up, followed by a road trip to St. Louis to play the god-awful Rams. Opening Vegas line on that one should be somewhere in the neighborhood of about 45-and-a-half.

Miami 31, NY Jets 27

Definitely one of the best games of the weekend. Miami really deserved this win too. These two teams were just beating the crap out of each other and going full speed ahead for four full quarters. Really felt like a playoff game. The 'Phins are probably the best 2-3 team out there right now. Love the crazy Wildcat plays they ran too. Every offensive snap was like a choose-your-own-adventure book (for those old enough to remember those relics). Jets played tough too, but Miami had more gas in the tank at the end. And it's nice to see Braylon Edwards playing for a team where he can utilize his actual talents - that's a good pickup for the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets! Also, Rex Ryan and crew benefit slightly from the fact that New England also lost, which doesn't change the dynamic of the AFC East standings all that much right now.